It was not a good time for magic in the US. Many Dark wizards trying to be like Lord Voldemort were roaming around. Wars amongst goblins in various states were occurring. Ghosts were rioting across America, claiming that the Statute of Secrecy was for the living. The latter is what this very chapter is about.
Usually, the Magical Congress of the United States of America will handle situations like these. However, MACUSA had more problems than people, so they hired even the most underqualified wizards and witches. I was owled a letter one summer morning from Thomas Quinch, the Magical President of the USA. He had heard of my adventures and invited me to a party at Magby Manor in Salem, Massachusetts.
I travelled by Portkey to Salem and went to Magby Manor. The doors creaked and a few cobwebs ripped as I opened the large oak door. A chilling sensation came over me, as if I were plunged in ice cold water and I was immediately taken out. I stepped in, unsure of what to find. I saw a sign inside that read:
"Warning! Boggarts, Ghosts, and Ghouls. Chance of Red Caps."
I figured that I would start by clearing out all of the Boggarts. I searched around in dark, cramped spaces that Boggarts usually reside in. I finally got a quite powerful one in the moldy cupboard. I opened the doors and out stepped a giant cockroach. The roach stomped around, making an eerie hissing noise. It was ghastly and quite horrific. I said "Riddikulus" and stared the boggart cockroach in it's cold dark eyes. The roach immediately turned into a beach ball, making me have a hearty laugh as it bounced around. I did this with all nine Boggarts.
I walked up a flight of creaking stairs, worrying that one might collapse. I reached the second floor, only to find a group of ghastly pale people in a room of green goo. But those weren't people! They were ghosts! They all looked shocked to see me, and backed away as I stepped by. I noticed a particularly plump ghost who seemed to be the center of everyone's attention. I tapped on his shoulder (or the best I could; he didn't really have a shoulder), hoping most dearly that he would be a kind spectre.
"What, might I ask, are you doing at my 357th deathday party? I am someone of status you know. I am Colonel Jericho Rich. I don't recall invited a living being," he said in a stern tone.
"Henry Ridgeback, Colonel. May I ask you and your group to go somewhere else? The townspeople are quite annoyed at you"
The colonel simply said, "Oh who cares about the living. Always pushing us around... why in the bloody hell do you think we're rioting, boy?"
"Colonel Rich, I must ask you to leave."
"Or what?", he said, jokingly.
So, I casted the Skurge Charm, a spell for cleaning ectoplasm, or ghost goo, and scaring ghosts. "Skurge" I said. All of the goo was swept away and the ghosts fled from the house.
My works would almost be done if it weren't for some strange moaning. I looked all around and looked in the attic, finally finding the source of the noise, a Ghoul. The ugly green beast was moaning and wailing while munching on its natural prey, spiders. I put him into my backpack with an Undetectable Extension Charm on it, ending my work in Salem. I took the Ghoul to a nearby cave where it lived happily. I went home, reported that all of the Magby Manor was cleared, and sat back, enjoying rest and relaxation.