How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand? 

None. Why do you think he’s called the ‘Dark’ Lord?

What's Snape's boggart? 

A cauldron full of shampoo!

What does a Death Eater eat for breakfast? 

Cruci-O’s!

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, “Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, “Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I’m used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?”

The blind wizard says, “Gods no! Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times!”

A Sixth year girl went to Madam Pomfrey with uncontrollable hiccups to see if she could do something to stop them. Madam Pomfrey examined her all over and then pronounced gravely, ‘I got news for you, Miss. You”re pregnant.’ At that news the girl fainted on the spot, and when she finally came round a few minutes later she asked ‘Oh, dear - am i really pregnant?’ - ‘Of course not!’ she said ‘But it has cured your hiccups, hasn’t it? 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

You Know…

You Know who?

Oh silly, you don’t have to call him that anymore, he’s dead!

How many centaurs does it take to light up a wand?

None, mars is unusually bright today. 

How many Death Eaters does it take to light up a wand?

One, but you’ll have to find one with a hand.

What kind of cereal do they have at Hogwarts?

 Hufflepuffs.