Yo mama’s so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!

Yo mama’s so fat that a wingardium leviosa spell couldn’t lift her.

Yo mama’s so fat, she makes Hagrid look like “Mini-me”.

Yo mama’s so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.

Yo mama’s so ugly, even a dementor wouldn’t kiss her!

Yo mama’s so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.

Yo mama’s so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is a hip hop station on satellite radio.

Yo mama’s so ugly that the whomping willow saw her and died.

Yo mama’s so stupid she thinks Patronus is a kind of Tequlia.

Yo mama’s so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.

Yo mama’s so nasty, the Forbidden Forrest was named after her.

Yo mama’s the reason that Dumbledore turned gay.

Yo mama’s so old, her boobs look like two upside down Sorting Hats!

Yo mama’s so fat, she used the invisibility cloak as a bib.

Yo mama’s so ugly, everybody calls her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”

Yo mama’s so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck her soul out in one sitting.

Yo mama’s so pasty, she makes Ron Weasely look like George Hamilton.

Yo mama’s so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!

Yo mama’s so muggle, she thought the floo network was on channel 54!

Yo mama’s so old she gave Nicholas Flamel his first kiss.

Yo mama’s so ugly that the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Yo mama’s so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue

Yo mama’s so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark on them.

Yo mama’s so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill.

Yo mama’s so ugly that even Voldemort won’t say her name.

Yo mama’s so poor she can’t even afford a Gringotts account.