Roland's diary.
written by Roland Targaryen
My character's diary, here you'll find his thoughts about the events of his storyline, references to people he have met and holds dear. Everything wrapped in (...) is OOC, to either details(such as music, images, or videos), and also sound effects.(inhale),(hysterical laughter), and other observations. !!!!!!The language is a little bit dirty sometimes, don't mind him, he's a teenager.
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
1
Reads
778
20th of July(Reason #1)
Chapter 1
I have no idea why I'm writting this and I am afraid I won't understand the reason any time soon.
Just as I have no idea where my life is heading right now, it's my 16th birthday today and I literally have no temptation of being happy because of it.Summer vacation started only a month ago... it's not like it has been uneventful.. or like how teenagers would say..."boring", it's just I've been having so many thoughts in my head, it became so unpleasantly overwhelming that the weight had rendered me slightly depressed.Not even the beauty of the Carpathian Mountains can brighten me up from the melancholic shades of white and black with which I'm seeing the world right now.The weather is wonderful, I'm sitting at my desk in my room upstairs and the imagery of the trees surrounding my house is just splendid... (deep sigh) and I am all here locked up in my room, instead of going outside for a walk, perhaps instead of exploring. I could do literally 1001 things right now...but I still chose the 1002th and that's being emotional.
And that's because I have just as many reasons to be emotional as many things I could do now... fine, not that many, I should just stop whining ,I guess.
This morning I got to know one of the worst news I've had the luck to know so far.
I had been sleeping wonderfully, I can't say I've been sleeping much, I fell asleep at midnight, so.. you can tell how much I've actually been sleeping, but anyway, the point is that I was woken up by the person I had expected the least to wake me up.. at 6 AM, for Merlin's beard!
"Good morning, sunshine. Get your ass out of bed before you sleep through your birthday.", Daenerys suggested, looking down at the hideous, half-zombie version of me, she looked to be perfectly in shape, had she got out of bed at 4 f-ing AM to get ready like that?!
"5 more minutes...please..", I muttered burrying myself under the pillow, if she thought she'd wake me up at 6 AM, she was wrong.
"Plead rejected.", was her response, I closed my eyes and nearly fall asleep again, when I feel I am floating several inches above my bed, I felt the contact between me and the soft fabric of the bed break and I open my eyes just to see that my sister decided she'd get me out of my new comfort zone by force.
"Well played, sister, played..", I glared at her from above, but I just couldn't keep angry at her so I laughed, she dropped me on the floor gently. "..Although, just because you can use magic now doesn't mean you can use it every damn time you have to do something..", I smirked, I guess I am a good person, but if you dare to wake me up at 6 AM, you'll feel the rage, and it will hurt!
"And just because you are on vacation, doesn't mean you can go to bed late all the time, esspecially when it's an important day, Roland.",I just had my butt served to me with that one, it was a bit tad of wierd for us to tease each other like that, in fact, we rarely do it.Perhaps if there were "types" of sibblings, we would be the "lovely" ones, probably that type of siblings who rarely argue over anything.
"Now come, it's your turn to make breakfast, I'm starving..",(nervous scoff).Honestly, she's so silly, if she had started with that ,I wouldn't have wasted time with getting out of bed, and I would have already had some sandwitches(PUN INTEDED) done by then. I nod to her phrase, and get ready to go to down to the kitchen and hit the bread.I went down the stairs a little faster than usual, I have to admit that I was hungry too and I was still in my pijamas.I saw Tudor in the kitchen, it still felt awkward not to be harassed by him, I greeted him with my hand, but that was the most I was able to do, I just need.. still need.. time.
"What do you guys wanna eat?", I asked them, the answer was really obvious, sandwiches. I smiled weakly, but genuinely. as I grabbed the ingridients.
Honestly, I think one of the few good things that happened today might be that I nailed a sandwich I've never made before on my first try. I might look like a total nerd, but cooking is .. my thing. The sound of the burning oil is music to my ears, just like how the smell of chocolate and whipped cream on a cake are a godsent for my nose.I have a strange satisfaction when I see a well-cooked dish, in all its spleandour, flavour and seasoning, but nothing tops the silent bonus beat in my heart when I see somebody enjoying it,esspecially if the person in cause is family.
And that's the second good thing that happened today.
When I was finally done making the roast beef sandwiches and coffees, I sat down at the table, the smiles were enough, I didn't even care that it was birthday, like, I guess, most people would do.Oh boy, they were indeed hungry. I do hope they waited for the beef to get colder...
"Um... Roland.... I have something to tell you.",Daenerys muttered out of the sudden, she stopped eating. That's never good. She usually doesn't start talking before finishing her plate. What's wrong?
I had been so clueless.. Although, I guess I've seen it coming..
Tudor instinctively put his left hand on her leg, although Daenerys didn't give any attention to it. Her eyes were somehow sad, and the smirk she had had before died out along with the heat of her coffee.My brother was somehow more passive, but a glance of dread was still visible in his facial expression.
She breathed.
"You'll be going to Hogwarts alone.".
My eyebrows narrowed as I realised the core meaning of that sentence.
"W-..", I muttered, but was interrupted.
"We're spending the last portion of dad's money on food, we need to get the business back in action if we hope to .. like.. have money... We think it's the best way to earn it .is if we two
..stay here."
Perfect. Perfect loneliess it will be. It's not only that I haven't seen my friends for a really time, but now, literally, the only person who can keep me sane, decides it'd be better to stay home.The only person I could talk to in the common room without the awkward need of meeting someone new, the only person I could do homework and joke in class with.. I hate her.. because.. because.. we had so much to recover, and .. what the bloody hell?I.. despise her, I despise that..
that she's right.
I stared blankly at them.
"I-m.."
"It's okay, Dae. I guess it's the only way.", I was calm, I put a smile on my face, but it's the most forced smile I've ever had the need of showing, i was sitting still just like before, but they could still see the flicker of emotion in my eyes, they were telling everything that my smile was trying relentlessly to hide, and thanks to those silverly glows, I guess it failed big time, the dire efforts were in vain.
Despite of that, the slytherclaw changed the subject, "So.. where are we going.. it's your birthday, you don't want to spend it in the house, right?", she asked, somehow not sure about wheter it's okay to ask or not, or at least I thought that because of her stuttering.
The awkward silence.
"I guess we could just go to town, maybe?", I suggested.
"Great idea.", Tudor broke out of his own silence.
And so we went to town and didn't come home until 5 PM.
I know what you might think, you stack of paper.
That I am a spoiled brat.
Let me explain this to you..
How on earth would I be stimulated by some gifts? I shit bricks on them.I don't care, yes, I am.. somewhat grateful for them, don't get me wrong, but also don't think that this awesome broom which I won't use will replace the Daenerys Anna Targaryen I'll be missing as school starts, or that this suit(https://li0.rightinthebox.com/images/384x384/201409/bpccdg1411974535316.jpg) will ever be worn.
I also use to monologue like that with my mother.. the way I am writting right now reminds me of ...
For example, I just did that today, too. I went up to her room, where she was sleeping(Read the backstory, bleh).I held her left hand and started talking to her.I know, it's creepy, but I've always felt. that.. in spite of the curse and the dream world and all that, I sometimes feel that... she actually hears me, and actually understands me."Please,mom.Could you give me advice? I don't want to be.. alone again.". Her eyes are closed shut, she's barely breathing, she has been losing a ton of weight and she was paler than a corpse, she's dreaming of a fake reality.. but somehow.. I think she still manages to be with me..with us.
It's so .. confusing, honestly. You'd think she'd be completely knocked out, but no..
She held my hand as I grabbed hers.
A spark of hope managed to breed from the abyss of sadness. It's not about the curse really, or to find the counter-curse.. it's about.. the chance of us being a family once again.
I haven't spoken to my mom since I was 8 years-old. It's almost ten years passed.. why exactly now? We tried to so many ways to break the curse, and now suddenly the effects just seem to falter? Or ... possibly, maybe mother is.. actually "beating" the course?
Stay tuned diary, this will only get more emotional.
P.S If you somehow learn to talk and suggest a love's kiss or a wiggleweld potion, I'll murder you.
Just as I have no idea where my life is heading right now, it's my 16th birthday today and I literally have no temptation of being happy because of it.Summer vacation started only a month ago... it's not like it has been uneventful.. or like how teenagers would say..."boring", it's just I've been having so many thoughts in my head, it became so unpleasantly overwhelming that the weight had rendered me slightly depressed.Not even the beauty of the Carpathian Mountains can brighten me up from the melancholic shades of white and black with which I'm seeing the world right now.The weather is wonderful, I'm sitting at my desk in my room upstairs and the imagery of the trees surrounding my house is just splendid... (deep sigh) and I am all here locked up in my room, instead of going outside for a walk, perhaps instead of exploring. I could do literally 1001 things right now...but I still chose the 1002th and that's being emotional.
And that's because I have just as many reasons to be emotional as many things I could do now... fine, not that many, I should just stop whining ,I guess.
This morning I got to know one of the worst news I've had the luck to know so far.
I had been sleeping wonderfully, I can't say I've been sleeping much, I fell asleep at midnight, so.. you can tell how much I've actually been sleeping, but anyway, the point is that I was woken up by the person I had expected the least to wake me up.. at 6 AM, for Merlin's beard!
"Good morning, sunshine. Get your ass out of bed before you sleep through your birthday.", Daenerys suggested, looking down at the hideous, half-zombie version of me, she looked to be perfectly in shape, had she got out of bed at 4 f-ing AM to get ready like that?!
"5 more minutes...please..", I muttered burrying myself under the pillow, if she thought she'd wake me up at 6 AM, she was wrong.
"Plead rejected.", was her response, I closed my eyes and nearly fall asleep again, when I feel I am floating several inches above my bed, I felt the contact between me and the soft fabric of the bed break and I open my eyes just to see that my sister decided she'd get me out of my new comfort zone by force.
"Well played, sister, played..", I glared at her from above, but I just couldn't keep angry at her so I laughed, she dropped me on the floor gently. "..Although, just because you can use magic now doesn't mean you can use it every damn time you have to do something..", I smirked, I guess I am a good person, but if you dare to wake me up at 6 AM, you'll feel the rage, and it will hurt!
"And just because you are on vacation, doesn't mean you can go to bed late all the time, esspecially when it's an important day, Roland.",I just had my butt served to me with that one, it was a bit tad of wierd for us to tease each other like that, in fact, we rarely do it.Perhaps if there were "types" of sibblings, we would be the "lovely" ones, probably that type of siblings who rarely argue over anything.
"Now come, it's your turn to make breakfast, I'm starving..",(nervous scoff).Honestly, she's so silly, if she had started with that ,I wouldn't have wasted time with getting out of bed, and I would have already had some sandwitches(PUN INTEDED) done by then. I nod to her phrase, and get ready to go to down to the kitchen and hit the bread.I went down the stairs a little faster than usual, I have to admit that I was hungry too and I was still in my pijamas.I saw Tudor in the kitchen, it still felt awkward not to be harassed by him, I greeted him with my hand, but that was the most I was able to do, I just need.. still need.. time.
"What do you guys wanna eat?", I asked them, the answer was really obvious, sandwiches. I smiled weakly, but genuinely. as I grabbed the ingridients.
Honestly, I think one of the few good things that happened today might be that I nailed a sandwich I've never made before on my first try. I might look like a total nerd, but cooking is .. my thing. The sound of the burning oil is music to my ears, just like how the smell of chocolate and whipped cream on a cake are a godsent for my nose.I have a strange satisfaction when I see a well-cooked dish, in all its spleandour, flavour and seasoning, but nothing tops the silent bonus beat in my heart when I see somebody enjoying it,esspecially if the person in cause is family.
And that's the second good thing that happened today.
When I was finally done making the roast beef sandwiches and coffees, I sat down at the table, the smiles were enough, I didn't even care that it was birthday, like, I guess, most people would do.Oh boy, they were indeed hungry. I do hope they waited for the beef to get colder...
"Um... Roland.... I have something to tell you.",Daenerys muttered out of the sudden, she stopped eating. That's never good. She usually doesn't start talking before finishing her plate. What's wrong?
I had been so clueless.. Although, I guess I've seen it coming..
Tudor instinctively put his left hand on her leg, although Daenerys didn't give any attention to it. Her eyes were somehow sad, and the smirk she had had before died out along with the heat of her coffee.My brother was somehow more passive, but a glance of dread was still visible in his facial expression.
She breathed.
"You'll be going to Hogwarts alone.".
My eyebrows narrowed as I realised the core meaning of that sentence.
"W-..", I muttered, but was interrupted.
"We're spending the last portion of dad's money on food, we need to get the business back in action if we hope to .. like.. have money... We think it's the best way to earn it .is if we two
..stay here."
Perfect. Perfect loneliess it will be. It's not only that I haven't seen my friends for a really time, but now, literally, the only person who can keep me sane, decides it'd be better to stay home.The only person I could talk to in the common room without the awkward need of meeting someone new, the only person I could do homework and joke in class with.. I hate her.. because.. because.. we had so much to recover, and .. what the bloody hell?I.. despise her, I despise that..
that she's right.
I stared blankly at them.
"I-m.."
"It's okay, Dae. I guess it's the only way.", I was calm, I put a smile on my face, but it's the most forced smile I've ever had the need of showing, i was sitting still just like before, but they could still see the flicker of emotion in my eyes, they were telling everything that my smile was trying relentlessly to hide, and thanks to those silverly glows, I guess it failed big time, the dire efforts were in vain.
Despite of that, the slytherclaw changed the subject, "So.. where are we going.. it's your birthday, you don't want to spend it in the house, right?", she asked, somehow not sure about wheter it's okay to ask or not, or at least I thought that because of her stuttering.
The awkward silence.
"I guess we could just go to town, maybe?", I suggested.
"Great idea.", Tudor broke out of his own silence.
And so we went to town and didn't come home until 5 PM.
I know what you might think, you stack of paper.
That I am a spoiled brat.
Let me explain this to you..
How on earth would I be stimulated by some gifts? I shit bricks on them.I don't care, yes, I am.. somewhat grateful for them, don't get me wrong, but also don't think that this awesome broom which I won't use will replace the Daenerys Anna Targaryen I'll be missing as school starts, or that this suit(https://li0.rightinthebox.com/images/384x384/201409/bpccdg1411974535316.jpg) will ever be worn.
I also use to monologue like that with my mother.. the way I am writting right now reminds me of ...
For example, I just did that today, too. I went up to her room, where she was sleeping(Read the backstory, bleh).I held her left hand and started talking to her.I know, it's creepy, but I've always felt. that.. in spite of the curse and the dream world and all that, I sometimes feel that... she actually hears me, and actually understands me."Please,mom.Could you give me advice? I don't want to be.. alone again.". Her eyes are closed shut, she's barely breathing, she has been losing a ton of weight and she was paler than a corpse, she's dreaming of a fake reality.. but somehow.. I think she still manages to be with me..with us.
It's so .. confusing, honestly. You'd think she'd be completely knocked out, but no..
She held my hand as I grabbed hers.
A spark of hope managed to breed from the abyss of sadness. It's not about the curse really, or to find the counter-curse.. it's about.. the chance of us being a family once again.
I haven't spoken to my mom since I was 8 years-old. It's almost ten years passed.. why exactly now? We tried to so many ways to break the curse, and now suddenly the effects just seem to falter? Or ... possibly, maybe mother is.. actually "beating" the course?
Stay tuned diary, this will only get more emotional.
P.S If you somehow learn to talk and suggest a love's kiss or a wiggleweld potion, I'll murder you.
