Today, I"ll be presenting the scene of Harry Potter Philosopher's stone( Half) and their movie plans.
Scene:

A neighbourhood on a street called Privet Drive. An owl, sitting on the street sign flies off to reveal a mysterious appearing old man walking through a forest near the street. He stops at the start of the street and takes out a mechanical device and zaps all the light out of the lampposts. He puts away the device and a cat meows. The man, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, looks down at the cat, which is a tabby and is sitting on a brick ledge.



Dumbledore: I should have known that you would be here...Professor McGonagall.



The cat meows, sniffs out and the camera pans back to a wall. The cats shadow is seen progressing into a human. There are footsteps and MINERVA MCGONAGALL is revealed.



McGonagall: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus?



Dumbledore: I'm afraid so, Professor. The good, and the bad.

McGonagall: And the boy?

Dumbledore: Hagrid is bringing him.

McGonagall: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

Albus: Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life.



There is a motor sound, and the two professors look up to see a flying motorcycle coming down from the air. It skids on the street and halts. A large man, RUBEUS HAGRID, takes off his goggles.



Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore, Sir. Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore: No problems, I trust, Hagrid?

Hagrid: No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. Heh. Try not to wake him. There you go.



Hagrid hands a baby in a blanket over to Dumbledore.



McGonagall: Albus, do you really think its safe, leaving him with these people? I've been watching them all day. They're the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They really are

Dumbledore: The only family he has.



They stop outside a house.



McGonagall: This boy will be famous. There wont be a child in our world who doesn't know his name.

Dumbledore: Exactly. He's better off growing up away from all that. Until he is ready.



Hagrid coughs and sniffles, he is crying. He clears his throat.



Dumbledore: There, there, Hagrid. It's not really good-bye, after all.



Hagrid nods. Dumbledore takes a letter and places it on the baby, who is now at the foot of the door. The baby has a visible lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.



Dumbledore: Good luck...Harry Potter.



The camera pans into the scar and the opening title shows:

HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE


Almost ten years after the: DURSLEY's home. The camera pans on a sleeping boy, almost eleven, with a lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.

There is a click, and knocking. Outside, a tall woman, PETUNIA DURSLEY, raps the door.



Petunia: Up. Get up. {Knocks} {sighs} Now! {Smacks door of closet which is the boys bedroom}



A large, tubby boy, DUDLEY DURSLEY, suddenly comes running down the stairs above the closet. He stops half-way down and goes back, jumping on the staircase.



Dudley: Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo!



Dudley laughs, comes down the stairs and runs for the kitchen. The boy, HARRY POTTER, tries to come out of the closet, but is pushed back in by Dudley.



Petunia is in the kitchen, where Dudley has gone.



Petunia: Oh, here he comes, the birthday boy!



A larger man, VERNON DURSLEY, is sitting at the kitchen table.



Vernon: Happy birthday, son.



Petunia and Dudley giggle together. Harry comes into the kitchen, dressed in rags.



Petunia: Why don't you just cook the breakfast, and try not to burn anything.

Harry: Yes, Aunt Petunia.



He sets to work.



Petunia: I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day.

Vernon: Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy!

Harry: Yes, Uncle Vernon.



Petunia leads Dudley over to the family room, where there are a vast amount of presents. Dudley stares.



Dudley: How many are there?

Vernon: Thirty-six. Counted 'em myself.

Dudley: Thirty-six?! But last year last year I got thirty-seven!!

Vernon: Yes, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year!

Dudley: I don't care how big they are!

Petunia: Oh, now, now, now. This is what we're going to do, is that when we go out we're going to buy you two new presents! How's that, Pumpkin?



Scene:

Outside, morning. The happy family is heading to the car. Harry goes to get in but is stopped by Vernon.



Petunia: This will be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking forward to it.

Vernon: I'm warning you now, boy. Any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week. Get in.



Scene:

The zoo. The family is in the reptile house, looking at a large BOA CONSTRICTOR.



Dudley: Make it move.

Vernon raps the glass of the cage.



Vernon: Move!



Dudley raps the glass much harder, and Vernon winces.



Dudley: MOVE!

Harry: He's asleep!

Dudley: He's boring.



Dudley and his parents retreat to another enclosure. Harry is left with the snake.



Harry: Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, having people press their ugly faces in on you.



The snake looks up and blinks.



Harry: Can you...hear me? {The snake nods} It's just...I've never talked to a snake before. Do you...I mean...do you talk to people often? {The snake shakes its head} You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there, do you miss your family? {The snake turns its head in the direction of a sign which says, Bred in Captivity} I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either.



The now awake snake has attracted Dudley's attention. He rips over to the cage, knocking Harry to the floor.



Dudley: Mummy, dad, come here! You won't believe what this snake is doing!!



Dudley puts his hands on the glass wall. Harry, from the ground, glares at him. Suddenly, the glass disappears. Dudley wretches forward.



Dudley: Whoa! Ahh! Ahh!!



Dudley falls into the snake enclosure, sputtering in a pool of water. The snake gets out of the exhibit, stopping in front of Harry.



Snake: Thankssssssss.

Harry: Anytime.



The snake starts off.



Man: SNAKE!



There is a lot of screaming as the snake heads for freedom. Dudley gets up to get out, but the glass is now back over the enclosure. He is stuck. He pounds the glass.



Dudley: Mum, mummy!

Petunia: {Sees him} AHH!

Dudley: Mum, help! Help me!

Petunia: My darling boy! How did you get in there?!

Harry: {Grins and giggles}



Vernon glares down at him and Harry's grin disappears. Petunia continues screaming: How did you get in there? Dursley, oh, Dursley!



Scene:

Back at the Dursley's. Petunia and a bundled up Dudley come in.

Petunia: It's all right. It's all right.



They disappear around the corner. Harry and Vernon enter. Vernon slams the door and shoves Harry against a wall, taking his hair.



Harry: Ow!

Vernon: What happened?

Harry: I swear I don't know! One minute the glass was there and then it was gone! It was like magic!

Vernon: {Scoffs and shoves Harry into the closet} There's no such thing as magic!



Scene:

Outside, some time later. An owl flies by the house and drops a letter, which zooms in the letterbox. It lands away from the house and hoots.

Harry, inside, goes to collect the mail. He sorts through the letters and sees his, addressed to him. He goes into the kitchen, hands Vernon the rest of the mail, and walks around the other side of the table to see his letter.



Vernon: Ah, Marge is ill. Ate a funny whelk.

Dudley: {Sees Harrys letter. He runs and grabs it} Dad, look! Harry's got a letter!!

Harry: Hey, give it back! It's mine!

Vernon: {Laughs} Yours? Who'd be writing to you?



The family gathers to look at the address. There is a broken seal on the letter. The family looks up and Harry gulps.



Scene:

Another owl flies by with a letter and drops it off. Inside, Vernon grabs a handful of letters and rips them up.

In the closet, Harry hears a whirring noise. He looks out at Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox opening.



Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox.



Scene:

Outside, Vernon and Petunia appear. Vernon is about to head off to work. Petunia kisses his cheek.



Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear.



She stops, looks and sees a bunch of owls.



Vernon: Shoo! Go on!



Scene:

Inside. Vernon is tossing letters into the fireplace. Harry comes around the corner. Vernon grins evilly and tosses more in.



Scene:

Living/Family room. The family is sitting around, Harry is serving cookies.



Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?



Dudley shrugs.



Harry: {Hands cookie to Vernon} Because there's no post on Sunday? Ah, right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. {Harry sees a shadow outside the window. Outside, millions of owls are perched.} No sir, not one blasted, miserable---



A letter shoots out of the fireplace and zips across Vernons face. There is a rumbling and then zillions of letters come shooting out of the fireplace.



Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! {He jumps on Petunias lap}

Petunia and Vernon: {Screaming}

Vernon: Go away, ahh!

Dudley: What is it? Please tell me what's happening!



Harry jumps onto the coffee table to grab a letter. He gets one and starts to run away. Vernon jumps up as well.



Vernon: Give me that! Give me that letter!



He chases Harry and grabs him before Harry gets into his closet.



Harry: Get off! Ahh!

Vernon: Ahh!

Harry: They're my letters! Let go of me!

Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!

Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasnt he?!



Scene:

A house, on a rock island somewhere out at sea. The family is sleeping, with Harry on the cold, dirt floor. He has drawn a birthday cake which reads, Happy Birthday Harry. Harry looks at Dudley's watch, which beeps 12:00.



Harry: Make a wish, Harry. {Blows}



Suddenly, the door thumps. Harry jumps. The door thumps again and Dudley and Harry jump up and back away. Petunia and Vernon appear, Vernon with a gun. The door bangs again and then cracks open, and a giant man appears.



Vernon: Who's there? Ahh!

Hagrid: Sorry 'bout that. {He puts the door back up}

Vernon: I demand that you leave at once, Sir! You are breaking and entering!

Petunia: Ooh.



Hagrid comes over, grabs the gun and bends it upwards.



Hagrid: Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. {The gun fires}

All: Ahh!

Hagrid: {sees Dudley} Mind, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected. Particularly 'round the middle!

Dudley: I-I-I'm not Harry.

Harry appears: I-I am.

Hagrid: Oh, well, of course you are! Got something for ya. 'Fraid I might have sat on it at some point! I imagine that it'll taste fine just the same. Ahh. Baked it myself. {Hands Harry the cake} Words and all. Heh.

Harry: Thank you! {Opens cake, which reads: Happee Birdae Harry.}

Hagrid: It's not every day that your young man turns eleven, now is it?



Hagrid sits down on the couch, takes out an umbrella and points it at the empty fire. Poof, poof! Two sparks fly out and the fire starts. The family gapes.



Harry: {puts cake down} Excuse me, who are you?

Hagrid: Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts. Course, you'll know all about Hogwarts.

Harry: Sorry, no.

Hagrid: No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all?

Harry: Learnt what?

Hagrid: You're a wizard, Harry.

Harry: I-I'm a what?

Harry: A wizard. And a thumping good one at that, I'd wager. Once you train up a little.

Harry: No, you've made a mistake. I can't be...a-a wizard. I mean, I'm just... Harry. Just Harry.

Hagrid: Well, Just Harry, did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared? {Harry softens his expression} Ah.

Dudley: {whimpers}



Hagrid hands Harry the same letter that has been sent the past while. Harry opens it.



Harry: Dear, Mr. Potter. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Vernon: Hell not be going! We swore when we took him in wed put an end to this rubbish!

Harry: You knew?? You knew all along and you never told me?

Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. Oh, my mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful? I was the only one to see her for what she was. A freak! And then she met that Potter, and then she had you, and I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as ... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up! And we got landed with you.

Harry: Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash!

Hagrid: A car crash? A car crash kill James and Lily Potter?

Petunia: We had to tell him something.

Hagrid: It's an outrage! It's a scandal!

Vernon: He'll not be going!

Hagrid: Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are you?

Harry: Muggle?

Hagrid: Non magic folk. This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts' has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore.

Vernon: I will not pay for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks!

Hagrid: {whips out umbrella and points it at Vernon} Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me.



Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake, and points the umbrella at his rear. A grey tail grows.



Dudley: Ahh!

All: Ahh! {family chases Dudley}

Harry: {laughs}

Hagrid: Oh, um, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic.

Harry: {Nods} Okay.

Hagrid: {checks a clock} Ooh, we're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, of course. Hmm? {Leaves}



Harry grins, looks back, and grins again.



Scene:

Streets of London. Hagrid and Harry are walking.

Harry: All students must be equipped with...one standard size two pewter cauldron and may bring if they desire either an owl, a cat or a toad. Can we find all this in London?

Hagrid: If you know where to go.



They go to a corner store and enter, The Leaky Cauldron.

{Music and talking}



Barkeep Tom: Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume?

Hagrid: No thanks, Tom. I'm on official Hogwarts business today. Just helping young Harry here buy his school supplies.

Tom: Bless my soul. It's Harry Potter.



The pub goes silent. A man comes up and shakes Harrys hand.



Man: Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back.



A witch comes up and shakes Harrys hand, as well.



Witch: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last.



A man in robes with a turban on his head appears. It is PROFESSOR QUIRRELL.



Quirrell: Harry P-potter. C-can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you.

Hagrid: Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor Quirrell. He'll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.

Harry: Oh, nice to meet you. {Puts out hand. Quirrell refuses}

Quirrell: F-fearfully fascinating subject. N-not that you need it, e-eh, Potter? Heheh.

Hagrid: Yes, well, must be going now. Lots to buy. Heh.

Harry: Good-bye.



The two leave into a back room winery in front of a brick wall.



Hagrid: See, Harry, you're famous!

Harry: But why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there, how is it they know who I am?

Hagrid: I'm not exactly sure I'm the right person to tell you that, Harry. {Taps the brick wall clockwise with his umbrella. The blocks shift and open up to reveal a hidden, busy street.}

Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley.



Harry grins broadly as they step into the street and walk down it. An owl screeches.



Hagrid: Here's where you'll get your quills and ink, and over there all your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry.



Harry is amazed as they pass by shops and owls and bats. The camera pans on a broom store, where a group of boys are crowded around a shiny broom.



Boy: It's a world class racing broom. Look at it, its the new Nimbus 2000! It's the fastest model yet.

Harry: But, Hagrid, how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money.

Hagrid: Well there's your money, Harry. Gringotts, the Wizard Bank. T'aint no place safer, 'cept perhaps Hogwarts.



Inside the bank, they walk down the shiny aisle, passing tiny creatures working.



Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly are those things?

Hagrid: They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come goblins but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stick close to me. {Harry sticks to him.} {Hagrid clears his throat as they approach a counter with a goblin in it.} Mr. Harry Potter wishes to make a withdrawal.



The goblin looks up.



Goblin: And does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?

Hagrid: Oh. Wait a minute. Got it here somewhere. Hah. Here's the little devil. Oh, and there's something else as well. Professor Dumbledore gave me this. It's about you-know-what in vault you-know-which. {Hands Goblin letter wrapped in string.}

Goblin: Very well.



Scene:

Racing down the depth caverns in a cartlike structure. The cart stops, a goblin, GRIPHOOK, clambers out.



Griphook: Vault 687. Lamp, please. {Hagrid hands him the lamp and he walks to the vault} Key please. {Hagrid hands him the key and he unlocks it}



The room is filled nearly top to bottom with coins. Harry is amazed.



Hagrid: Didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing, now didja?



They continue on through the cavern.



Griphook: Vault 713.

Harry: What's in there, Hagrid?

Hagrid: Can't tell you, Harry. It's Hogwarts business. Very secret.

Griphook: Stand back. {Slides finger down the door. Clank. Clank. The vault opens to expose a small white stone package. Hagrid hurries in and scoops it up. The eerie light it was shining with disappears.}



Hagrid: Best not mention this to anyone, Harry.

Harry nods.



Scene: Outside in the street, walking.



Harry: I still need...a wand.

Hagrid: A wand? Well, you'll want Ollivanders. No place better. Run along there, but wait. I just got one more thing I got to do. Won't be long.



Harry goes into the store, quietly. He looks around. There are shelves of wands, but no people.



Harry: {Softly} Hello? Hello?



There is a thunk. A man appears on a ladder and looks at Harry. He smiles.



Ollivander: I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here buying their first wands. {Picks a wand} Ah. Here we are. {Harry holds it but just stands} Well, give it a wave.

Harry: Oh! {waves. All the shelves come crashing down. Harry jumps and hurriedly puts the wand back on the counter.}

Ollivander: Apparently not. {Gets another wand.} Perhaps this. {Harry waves at a vase, which blows apart.} No, no, definitely not! No matter...{gets a wand} I wonder. {Hands wand to Harry. Harry glows under it.} Curious, very curious.

Harry: Sorry, but what's curious?

Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand gave one other feather, just one. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar. {Points to scar}

Harry: And...who owned that wand?

Ollivander: Oh, we do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why, but I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things...terrible, yes, but great. {Hands Harry his wand.}



There is a knock on the window.



Hagrid: Harry! Harry! Happy birthday! {Has a snowy owl in a cage which hoots.}

Harry: Wow.



Scene: Later, eating supper. The two, Hagrid and Harry, are at a long table, eating soup.



Hagrid: You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet.

Harry: He killed my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. You know, Hagrid, I know you do.

Hagrid: {Sighs and pushes bowl away} First, and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V-...his name was V-...

Harry: Maybe if you wrote it down?

Hagrid: No, I can't spell it. All right. His name was Voldemort.

Harry: Voldemort?

Hagrid: Shh!!

{Harry looks around}



A flashback ensues, consisting off a cloaked man walking towards a house, breaking in with his wand, and proceeding to terrorize. Hagrid narrates.



Hagrid: It was dark times, Harry, dark times. Voldemort started to gather some followers, brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill 'em. {Harrys mother, LILY, screams as she is killed by Voldemorts wand} Nobody...not one. Except you. {close-up of baby Harry.}

Harry: Me? Voldemort tried to kill...me?

Hagrid: Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse...and an evil curse at that.

Harry: What happened to Vo-...to You-Know-Who?

Hagrid: Some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's out there, still, too tired to go on. But one thing's absolutely certain. Something about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous, Harry. That's why everbody knows your name. You're the boy who lived.





Scene: London Train Station. Up on a crossing bridge, Harry (with cart and owl) walk beside Hagrid.



A couple look at Hagrid.



Hagrid: What're you looking at? {Looks at watch} Blimey, is that the time?? Sorry, Harry, I'm gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore'll be wanting his...well, he'll be wanting to see me. Now, uh, your train leaves in 10 minutes. Here's your ticket. Stick to it, Harry that's very important. Stick to your ticket.



Harry looks at his golden ticket.



Harry: Platform 9 ¾? But Hagrid, there must be a mistake. This says Platform 9 ¾. There's no such thing...is there? {Harry looks up and Hagrid has vanished.}



Scene: Harry is walking down lane between trains. A man rushes by.



Man: Sorry.

Harry sees a train master.

Harry: Excuse me, excuse me.

Trainmaster: {talking to woman and child} Right on your left, ma'am.

Harry: Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me where I might find Platform 9 ¾?

Trainmaster: 9 ¾? Think youre being funny, do ya? {Leaves}



A woman, daughter, and four boys walk by, pushing carts.



Mrs. Weasley: It's the same year after year. Always packed with Muggles, of course.

Harry: Muggles?

Mrs. Weasley: Come on. Platform 9 ¾ this way! All right, Percy, you first.



A tall boy with red hair comes forward and runs towards a brick wall. Amazingly, he disappears right into it. Harry is amazed.



Mrs. Weasley: Fred, you next.

George: He's not Fred, I am!

Fred: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother!

Mrs. Weasley: Oh, I'm sorry, George.

Fred: I'm only joking. I am Fred. {He runs through the wall, and is followed by his twin brother.}



Harry shakes his head in disbelief.



Harry: Excuse me! C-could you tell me how to

Mrs. Weasley: How to get on the platform? Yes, not to worry, dear. It's Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. {pan to a red haired boy who smiles} Now, all you've got to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Best do it at a bit of a run if youre nervous.

Ginny (daughter): Good luck.



Harry takes a breath and runs at the wall. He shuts his eyes and emerges on the other side a magnificent station with a red train and bundles of people. A whistle blows, and Harry sighs with relief.



Scene: The train is traveling through unknown country. Pan to inside compartment, where Harry is sitting. The red headed boy, RON, appears, dirt on his nose.



Ron: Excuse me, do you mind? Everywhere else is full.

Harry: No, not at all.

Ron: {sits across from Harry} I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley.

Harry: I'm Harry. Harry Potter.

{Ron goes agape.}

Ron: So-so it's true?! I mean, do you really have the...the...

Harry: The what?

Ron: {whispers} Scar...?

Harry: Oh, yeah. {lifts up hair}

Ron: Wicked.

A trolley comes by the compartment, full of sweets.

Woman: Anything off the trolley, dears?

Ron: {Holds up mushed sandwiches} No, thanks, I'm all set. {smacks lips.}

Harry: {pulls out coins} We'll take the lot!

Ron: Whoa!



Scene: Eating bundles of sweets.

Ron's rat, Scabbers, is perched on Ron's knee, a box over its head.



Harry: Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?

Ron: They mean every flavour! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe. George sweared he got a bogey-flavoured one once!



Harry quickly takes the bean he was chewing out of his mouth.



Harry: {picks up blue and gold package} These aren't real chocolate frogs, are they?

Ron: It's only a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want. Each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. I got about 500 meself.

Frog: Ribbit. {The frog jumps onto the window and climbs up, then leaps out the window...disappearing.}

Ron: Oh, that's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with.

Harry: Hey, I got Dumbledore!

Ron: I got about 6 of him.

Harry: Hey, he's gone!

Ron: Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? {Scabbers squeaks} This is Scabbers, by the way, pitiful, isn't he?

Harry: Just a little bit.

Ron: Fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. Want to see?

Harry: Yeah!

Ron: {clears throat} Ahem. Sun-



A girl, HERMIONE GRANGER, with bushy brown hair appears at the doorway.



Hermione: Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one.

Ron: No.

Hermione: Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.

Ron: Aghhhemm. Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!

{Zap. Nothing happens. Ron shrugs.}

Hermione: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple spells myself, and they've all worked for me. For example...{Hermione goes over and sits across from Harry. He points her hand at his glasses and Harry tenses} Oculus Reparo. {The glasses, which noseband is battered, are repaired. Harry takes them off, amazed.} That's better, isn't it? Holy Cricket, you're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger...and you are...?

Ron: {full mouth} I'm...Ron Weasley.

Hermione: Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon. {Gets up and leaves, then comes back and looks at Ron.} You've got dirt, on your nose, by the way, did you know? Just there. {Points} {Ron scratches his nose, embarrassed.}



Scene: Darkness, the train blows its whistle and pulls into an outdoor station. Hagrid walks along the side aisle, with a lantern. People begin pouring out of the train.



Hagrid: Right, then! First years! This way, please! Come on, now, don't be shy! Come on now, hurry up!



Harry and Ron walk up to Hagrid.



Hagrid: Hello, Harry.

Harry: Hey, Hagrid.

Ron: Whoaa!

Hagrid: Right then. This way to the boats! Come on, now, follow me.



Scene:

A number of boats are plugging across a vast lake, where up ahead a huge castle can be seen. People are in awe.

Ron: Wicked.



Scene: On a higher level, Professor McGonagall is waiting. She raps her fingers on a stone railing, and then goes to the top of the stairs to greet the newcomers.



McGonagall: Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you can take your seats you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Now, while you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup



NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, a scared looking boy, spots his toad sitting near McGonagall. He jumps forward.



Neville: Trevor! {McGonagall stares down at him} Sorry. {He backs away.}

McGonagall: The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily. {leaves}



DRACO MALFOY, a slicked back evil looking boy speaks up.



Draco: It's true then, what they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. {Students whisper, Harry Potter?} This is Crabbe, and Goyle {nods to thugs} and I'm Malfoy...Draco Malfoy. {Ron snickers at his name} Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand me down robe? You must be a Weasley. Well soon find that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. Dont want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. {extends hand.}

Harry: I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks.



Draco glares. McGonagall returns and smacks him on the shoulder with a paper. He retreats with one last glare.



McGonagall: We're ready for you now.



She leads everyone through two large doors and into the Great Hall, where there are four long tables with many kids, as well as floating candles. The roof appears to be the sky.



Hermione: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.

McGonagall: All right, will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbldedore would like to say a few words.



Dumbledore rises from the main table.



Dumbledore: I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch {signals to ragged old man with a cat with red eyes} has asked me to remind you that the 3rd floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.

McGonagall: When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger.

Hermione: Oh, no. Okay, relax. {She goes up}

Ron: Mental that one, I'm telling you.

Harry nods in agreement.

Sorting Hat: Ah, right then...hmm...right. Okay...Gryffindor!!

(Cheering)



Hermione jumps off with a smile.



McGonagall: Draco Malfoy.



Draco saunters up proudly. The tattered hat nearly freaks before touching down on Dracos head.



Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!



Ron: There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad who wasnt in Slytherin.

McGonagall: Susan Bones.



A small, redhead goes up.

Harry looks around and spots a black haired, pale teacher, SEVERUS SNAPE, looking at him. His scar hurts.



Harry: Ahh! {puts hand on forehead}

Ron: Harry, what is it?

Harry: Nothing...it's nothing, I'm fine.



Sorting Hat: Let's see...I know...Hufflepuff!

McGonagall: Ronald Weasley.



Ron gulps and walks up. He sits down and the hat is put on.



Sorting Hat: Ah! Another Weasley. I know just where to put you...Gryffindor!!

Ron: {Sighs}

(Cheering)



McGonagall: Harry Potter.



Everything goes silent. Harry walks up and sits down.



Sorting Hat: Hmm...difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?

Harry: {whispers} Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.

Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. Its all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness! There's no doubt about that! No? {Harry whispers: Not Slytherin...anything but Slytherin} Well, if youre sure...better be...GRYFFINDOR!!



There is an immense cheering and Harry goes to the Gryffindor table.

Fred and George are also there, and cheer: We got Potter! We got Potter! Harry sits down.



McGonagall: {dings on a cup} Your attention, please.

Dumbledore: Let the feast...begin.



Food magically appears on all the tables, and the hall is filled with awe and chatter.



Harry: Wow.



Draco looks at all the food, raises his eyebrows and digs in.

Ron stuffs his face.



SEAMUS FINNIGAN, a tiny boy, speaks.



Seamus: I'm half and half. Me dad's a Muggle. Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

Neville laughs.



Harry is sitting next to Percy. He leans over.



Harry: Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?

Percy: Oh, that's Professor Snape, head of Slytherin house.

Harry: What's he teach?

Percy: Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrells job for years.



Ron, having just finished a chicken wing, reaches into the bowl for more, and a ghostly head, SIR NICHOLAS, pops out.



Ron: Ahh!

Nick: Hello! How are you? Welcome to Gryffindor.



Numerous ghosts come pouring from the walls, sailing along.



Hufflepuff ghost: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Girl: Look, its the Bloody Baron!

Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have a nice summer?

Nick: Dismal. Once again, my request to join the headless hunt has been denied. {Begins to leave}

Ron: Hey, I know you! You're Nearly Headless Nick!

Nick: I prefer Sir Nicholas if you don't mind.

Hermione: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?

Nick: Like this. {Grabs head and pulls it to the side. His head is hanging on just by a thread.}

Ron: Ahh!

Hermione: Eugh.



Scene:

Percy is leading the Gryffindors to the staircases.



Percy: Gryffindors, follow me please. Keep up. Thank you.

Boy: Ravenclaw, follow me. This way.

Percy: This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases...they like to change.



The camera pans up and we see a vast amount of staircases, people walking on them, and some switching places.



Percy: Keep up, please, and follow me. Quickly now, come on. Come on. {They begin walking up the stairs}

Neville: Seamus, that picture's moving!

Ron: Look at that one, Harry!

Harry: I think she fancies you.

Girl: Oh, look! Look! Who's that girl?

Man in painting: Welcome to Hogwarts.

Girl: Who's that?



Scene:

Approaching the Gryffindor dorms. They come up to a large painting of a large woman in a pink dress.



Woman: Password?
Percy: Caput Draconis. {The woman nods and the painting opens to reveal a gape in the wall.} Follow me, everyone. Keep up, quickly, come on.

Girl: Oh, wow.

Percy: {Inside common room} Gather 'round here. Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left. Girls, the same on your right. You'll find that your belongings have already been brought up.



Scene: Mid-night. Harry is sitting by a window in his pj's, with his owl, Hedwig. He pets the owl and looks out the window, sighing with content.





Scene: Morning. Harry and Ron are running through the stone halls to their class. They rush in. In the class, a tabby cat is sitting on a desk.



Ron: Whew, amazing, can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late?



The cat jumps off the desk and turns into Professor McGonagall. The two boys are amazed.



Ron: That was bloody brilliant.

McGonagall: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Maybe if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocketwatch, maybe one of you would be on time.

Harry: We got lost.

McGonagall: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.



Scene: Snape's potions class. The students are chattering, sitting near steaming cauldrons. The door slams open and Snape comes rushing in.



Snape: There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few {looks at Draco, who smiles}, who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper {Draco looks on} in death. {Draco raises his eyebrows.} {Snape sees Harry, writing this down, in, his view, not paying attention.} Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not...pay...attention.



Hermione nudges Harry in the ribs. He looks up.



Snape: Mr. Potter. Our...new...celebrity. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? {Hermione's hand skyrockets. Harry shrugs.} You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar? {Hermione's hand shoots up again.}

Harry: I don't know, Sir.

Snape: And what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?

Harry: I don't know, Sir.

Snape: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?



Scene: In the great hall, probably midday. The students are all working on homework.



Seamus is trying a spell on a cup.



Seamus: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum. Turn this water, into rum. {Looks in cup and shakes head.} Eye of rabbit, harp string hum...

Harry: What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?

Ron: Turn it into rum. Actually managed a weak tea yesterday, before...



ZAPOOF! The cup explodes. There is laughter amongst the students. Suddenly, a flock of owls start coming into the hall from the rafters above.



Ron: Ah. Mail's here!



The owls soar by, dropping parcels to students. Harry gets nothing. He sees the newspaper Ron has put down.



Harry: Can I borrow this? {Ron nods} Thanks.



Neville is unwrapping a gift. It is a clear ball with gold around it.



Seamus: Hey, look! Neville's got a Remembrall!

Hermione: I've read about those. When the smoke turns red {the smoke turns red}, it means you've forgotten something.

Neville: The only problem is, I can't remember what I've forgotten.

Harry: Hey, Ron, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen, Believed to be the work of dark witches or wizards unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to.



Scene: Outside, flying practice. The students, Gryffindor and Slytherin, are lined up in two rows with brooms by their sides. The teacher, MADAM HOOCH, comes down the line. She has short hair and hawk yellow eyes.



Hooch: Good afternoon, class.

Class: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.

Hooch: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon. {to class} Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say, Up!

Class: Up!



Harry's broom flies into his hand.



Harry: Whoa. {Hermione stares as the class continues.}

Draco: Up! {broomstick flies up and Draco smugly grins.}

Hooch: With feeling!

Hermione: Up. Up. Up. Up.

Ron: Up!! {His broom flies up and conks him on the nose} Ow! {Harry laughs} Shut up, Harry. {laughs}

Hooch: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't want to be sliding off the end. {Class mounts} When I blow my whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, and then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle...3...2...{tweet!}



Neville immediately lifts off. He looks quite frightened.



Neville: Oh...

Hooch: Mr. Longbottom.

Girl: Neville, what are you doing?

Students: Neville...Neville...

Boy: We're not supposed to take off, yet.

Hooch: {Neville begins soaring away} M-M-Mr. Longbottom Mr. Longbottom!

Neville: AHH!
Hooch: Mr. Longbottom!

Neville: {soars away} Down! Down! Ahhhh!

Harry: Neville! {shouting}

Neville: Help!!!

Hooch: Come back down this instant!

Neville: AHH!



He soars through the sky and hits a wall, conking along it and then swooping off. All the while, he is screaming. He begins to zoom back towards the group of students. Hooch holds out her wand to stop him.



Neville: Help!

Hooch: Mr. Longbottom! {Neville approaches. The students scatter and Hooch dives out of the way. Neville goes through the scatter and up a tower.}

Neville: Ahhhh! Whoa! Ahhh! {zooms past a statue of a man with a sharp spear. Neville's cloak catches on it. He is flipped off the broom and hangs there.} Oh. Ah...help! {He wavers, then the cloak rips, and he falls, catching on a torch, but then slipping out and falling to the ground.} Ahh!

Hooch: Everyone out of the way! {She runs through the group, and they scatter.} Come on, get up.

Girl: Is he alright?

Neville: Owowowow.

Hooch: Oh, oh, oh, oh dear. It's a broken wrist. Tch, tch, tch. Good boy, come on now, up you get. {Draco reaches down and grabs Neville's Remembrall, which has fallen. Hooch begins to lead Neville away with her.} Everyone's to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say, Quidditch. {Exit.}

Draco: {snickers} Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass. {Laughs.}

Harry: Give it here, Malfoy.

Draco: No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. {hops on broom and soars around group, then through.} How 'bout up on the roof?? {soars off and hovers high in the sky.} What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?



Harry grabs his broom and runs to get on it. Hermione stops him.



Hermione: Harry, no! You heard what Madam Hooch said! Besides, you don't even know how to fly. {Harry flies off.} What an idiot.



Harry is now in the air, across from Draco.



Harry: Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!

Draco: Is that so? {Harry makes a dash for him, but Draco twirls around his broom in a 360.} Have it your way, then! {He throws the Remembrall into the air.}



Harry zooms after the ball, speeding towards a tower. Just as he is about to hit a window, from which McGonagall is working/watching, he catches it, and then heads back to the group. The students all cheer and run to see him.



Boy: Good job, Harry!

Boy 2: Oh, that was wicked, Harry.

McGonagall: {appears quickly} Harry Potter? Follow me. {Harry sullenly follows her. Draco and his goons laugh.}



Scene: Professor Quirrells classroom. He is inside, teaching, holding an iguana.



Quirrell: An iguana s-such as this is {McGonagall approaches the class and stops Harry: You wait here.} an essential in-gredient

McGonagall: Excuse me, excuse me, Professor Quirrell. Could I borrow Wood for a moment?

Quirrell: Oh. Y-yes, of course. {a boy, OLIVER WOOD, gets up to leave and Quirrell continues.} And the vampire b-bat...{eerie roar.}

McGonagall: Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood, I have found you a Seeker!



Scene: Harry and Ron are walking through crowded halls. Sir Nicholas and a lady ghost float by.



Nick: Have you heard? Harry Potter's the new Gryffindor Seeker. I always knew hed do well.

Ron: Seeker? But first years never make their house teams! You must be the youngest Quidditch player in

Harry: A century, according to McGonagall.



Fred and George approach and walk along with Ron and Harry.



Fred: Hey, well done, Harry, Wood's just told us!

Ron: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.

George: Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch.

Fred: Brutal. But no one's died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally... {They break off from Harry and Ron, who walk across a courtyard.

George: But they'll turn up in a month or two!!

Ron: Oh, go on, Harry, Quidditch is great. Best game there is! And you'll be great, too! {Hermione jumps up from her work and comes to join them.}

Harry: But I've never even played Quidditch. What if I make a fool of myself?

Hermione: You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood.



Scene: The three approach a trophy case. Hermione points at a plaque of Quidditch players. One lists Harry's father as a Seeker.



Ron: Whoa. Harry, you never told me your father was a Seeker, too.

Harry: I-I didn't know.





Scene: The three are walking up a staircase. A railing pulls in...Hermione looks, but continues walking.



Ron: I'm telling you, it's spooky. She knows more about you than you do.

Harry: Who doesn't?



The staircase shudders and begins to move. The three grab the railings.



Ron: Ahh!

Hermione: {Gasps.}

Harry: What's happening?

Hermione: The staircases change, remember? {The staircase stops, in a new place.}

Harry: {taps Ron} Let's go this way.

Ron: Before the staircase moves again. {They all open a door and walk into a spooky, dark room.}

Harry: Does anyone feel like...we shouldn't be here?

Hermione: We're not supposed to be here. This is the 3rd floor. It's forbidden.



Suddenly, a flame lights on a tall stone support. At that moment, the caretaker's cat, MRS. NORRIS, comes running in and meows. The group jumps.



Harry: Let's go.

{meow}

Ron: It's Filch's cat!

Harry: Run!



The group runs. Flames are lit as they go. They get to the end of the corridor, to a door. Harry grabs the handle, but it's locked.



Harry: It's locked!

Ron: That's it, we're done for!

Hermione: Oh, move over! {pushes through and pulls out wand} Alohomora. {The door opens.} Get in. {They bustle in.}

Ron: Alohomora?

Hermione: Standard book of spells, Chapter 7.



Filch appears at the start of the corridor with a light. Mrs. Norris looks at him.



Filch: Anyone here, my sweet? {meow} Come on. {exit.}

Hermione: Filch is gone.

Ron: Probably thinks this door's locked.

Hermione: It was locked.

Harry: And for good reason. {Ron and Hermione turn to stand with Harry. There is a massively huge three headed dog sleeping in front of them. The dog, FLUFFY, begins to wake. It growls, yawns, and growls more...noticing the intruders.}

All: AHHHHHHH! {The three bolt, running out of the door. They turn quickly to shut the door and battle against the dog. They get the door shut and run.}



Scene:

Back in the Gryffindor room. They are breathless.



Ron: What do they think they're doing?? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school.

Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?

Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice, there were three! {they begin to climb the stairs to the dorms.}

Hermione: It was standing on a trap door. Which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.

Harry: Guarding something?

Hermione: That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed...or worse, expelled! {turns and leaves, shutting the door to her dorms.}

Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!

Harry nods.



Scene: Outside, day time. Oliver and Harry appear, carrying a trunk. They put it down.



Oliver: Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each time has seven players, 3 chasers, 2 beaters, 1 keeper and a seeker that's you. There are three kinds of balls. {picks up a red one} This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. {Points to a faraway Quidditch pitch.} The keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. {throws ball to Harry.} With me so far?

Harry: {throws back} I think so. What are those? {points to two squirming chained down balls.}

Oliver: ...You better take this. {hands Harry a small bat. He bends down and releases one ball. With an angry growl, it flies off into the air. The two boys watch it.} Careful now, it's comin' back. {The balls comes whizzing down, and Harry cracks at it with the bat. The ball soars off through a statue.} Eh, not bad, Potter, you'd make a fair beater...Uh-oh. {The ball zooms down, and Oliver grabs it, wriggling to get it back in the box. He succeeds and is out of breath.} Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But the only ball I want you to worry about is this...the Golden Snitch. {hands Harry a walnut sized golden ball.}

Harry: I like this ball.

Oliver: Ah, you like it now. Just wait. It's wicked fast and damn near impossible to see.

Harry: What do I do with it?

Oliver: You catch it...before the other team's seeker. You catch this, the game is over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.

{The ball flutters out two delicate wings and jumps into the air. Harry keeps an eye on it.}

Harry: Whoa.



Scene: PROFESSOR FLITWICK's class. The teacher is very short, and is standing on a bunch of books.



Flitwick: One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation the ability to make objects fly. Uh, do you all have your feathers? {Hermione raises hers.} Good. Now, uh, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practicing, hmm? The swish and flick. Everyone. {All} The swish and flick. Good. And enunciate. Wingardium Leviosa. Off you go then.

Draco: Wingardium Levio-saaa.

{All practice.}

Ron: Wingardrium Leviosar. {whacks with wand numerous times.}

Hermione: Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, youre saying it wrong. It's Leviosa, not Leviosar.

Ron: You do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on.

More tomorrow!

Bruce Hynea
WRITER OF THE CELEBRITY CHIT CHAT