The Last Months of My Life
written by Account Terminated
This will be my last journal I will ever write. Trigger warnings: -Death-Self Harm-Rape-Abuse-Cancer-Depression-Panic Attacks
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
8
Reads
720
Day 57 30/8/2017
Chapter 7
Dear Red John,
I know it has been a while but I couldn't write any sooner.
I was really tired and couldn't made it.
There is some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that my doctor told me that with chemo I could live one year longer. He even said that it would be possible that I could live 2 years longer.
At first I couldn't really belive it.
Some part in me wished that I was going to die in seven months. Seeing Jimmy again. Just end all this. I really got used to the thought that I will die soon.
I had a life. Most of the time it wasn't good but there were nice and happy moments in it. I guess not everyone should have a good life.
The other part was happy about it. I could have more time with my girlfriend. I could have more time with my little brother.
The bad news is that it is getting more hard to get up and do everyday things. Like going out to buy some food, going for a swim at the lake, even going to the toilet is hard...
I speak of going... I didn't do that in a while. I have now a wheel chair because apparently my laungs can't take the walking any longer.
It sucks that I can't walk and needed to be pushed around. I never felt so weak in my life. Not even with my parents... I can't do anything about it... I just can sit there and hope for the best.
Guess this is all for today.
See ya next time!
I know it has been a while but I couldn't write any sooner.
I was really tired and couldn't made it.
There is some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that my doctor told me that with chemo I could live one year longer. He even said that it would be possible that I could live 2 years longer.
At first I couldn't really belive it.
Some part in me wished that I was going to die in seven months. Seeing Jimmy again. Just end all this. I really got used to the thought that I will die soon.
I had a life. Most of the time it wasn't good but there were nice and happy moments in it. I guess not everyone should have a good life.
The other part was happy about it. I could have more time with my girlfriend. I could have more time with my little brother.
The bad news is that it is getting more hard to get up and do everyday things. Like going out to buy some food, going for a swim at the lake, even going to the toilet is hard...
I speak of going... I didn't do that in a while. I have now a wheel chair because apparently my laungs can't take the walking any longer.
It sucks that I can't walk and needed to be pushed around. I never felt so weak in my life. Not even with my parents... I can't do anything about it... I just can sit there and hope for the best.
Guess this is all for today.
See ya next time!
