The Last Months of My Life
written by Account Terminated
This will be my last journal I will ever write. Trigger warnings: -Death-Self Harm-Rape-Abuse-Cancer-Depression-Panic Attacks
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
8
Reads
720
Day 14 18/7/2017
Chapter 3
Dear Red John,
I know I write not much but it is hard to write when you are dying. A few things were good and few things were bad.
Let's start with the not so good things so we can end with the good things.
Like Dantes book. A devine comedy.
You know why he called it a comeds? Not because it was funny or anything like that. No, because it started sad and ended happy. It started with him lost in the woods, searching for a way out, him being in hell then, then he went into purgatory, and then at the end he came into heaven and met his wife again.
So yeah, let's do it like Dante. Starting with the every bad and ending with the very best.
So the very bad thing:
On mondy I was in hospital because I felt really bad that day. My doctor then said to me that chemotherapy wouldn't work on me because the cancer is becomeing stronger. Means I have no chance to get better. Doctoc said that he could only make dying better.
Not so very bad thing but kinda bad:
Many of my friends left me behind. They don't call me, they don't visit me. They don't invite me for things. I talked to one of them and all she said was that I'm too weak now. I guess they weren't my friends then... The only one left is Jimmy.
Good thing:
I was out on Saturday and a bit of fun. Many of you will now say: Hou can she do that with cancer?! Well, guess what? I'm sick not dyin- Well, I guess this phrase isn't good use anymore. Yes, I am sick. Yes, I'm dying. And? Shouldn't that mean I should do everything possible to be happy? Should I lay all day in bed and be sad? With a bit of help and a wheelchair everything is possible! I want to live my life!
Better thing:
My parents are in prison! Finnaly! I never have to see them again! That is so a big relive! I hope when their sentence end that they are dead!
Best thing: I'm planning to propose to Jimmy. We have a long history and we seen some shit in our lives so I thought why not marry my best friend? I really love him and he is the best thet ever happened to me. So why not?
That would be all for today.
See ya!
I will write again!
I know I write not much but it is hard to write when you are dying. A few things were good and few things were bad.
Let's start with the not so good things so we can end with the good things.
Like Dantes book. A devine comedy.
You know why he called it a comeds? Not because it was funny or anything like that. No, because it started sad and ended happy. It started with him lost in the woods, searching for a way out, him being in hell then, then he went into purgatory, and then at the end he came into heaven and met his wife again.
So yeah, let's do it like Dante. Starting with the every bad and ending with the very best.
So the very bad thing:
On mondy I was in hospital because I felt really bad that day. My doctor then said to me that chemotherapy wouldn't work on me because the cancer is becomeing stronger. Means I have no chance to get better. Doctoc said that he could only make dying better.
Not so very bad thing but kinda bad:
Many of my friends left me behind. They don't call me, they don't visit me. They don't invite me for things. I talked to one of them and all she said was that I'm too weak now. I guess they weren't my friends then... The only one left is Jimmy.
Good thing:
I was out on Saturday and a bit of fun. Many of you will now say: Hou can she do that with cancer?! Well, guess what? I'm sick not dyin- Well, I guess this phrase isn't good use anymore. Yes, I am sick. Yes, I'm dying. And? Shouldn't that mean I should do everything possible to be happy? Should I lay all day in bed and be sad? With a bit of help and a wheelchair everything is possible! I want to live my life!
Better thing:
My parents are in prison! Finnaly! I never have to see them again! That is so a big relive! I hope when their sentence end that they are dead!
Best thing: I'm planning to propose to Jimmy. We have a long history and we seen some shit in our lives so I thought why not marry my best friend? I really love him and he is the best thet ever happened to me. So why not?
That would be all for today.
See ya!
I will write again!
