Person =
Dear diary,
I have lost my old diary book that is filled with so much happy memories--

Tom =
What? Like boys? and fashion?

Person =
Precisely!

Tom =
3
...
..
.
2
..
.
1--

Person =
oH MY LORD A---

Tom =
A self writing book?!
I'm not sure it's might be the spell Happy Pooter put on *sarcasm*
....
.....
....
......
.....
...
..
.
Person =
Who's....H-Happy P-P-Pooter?

Tom =
How in the name of Merlin are people still stuttering while writing in this fucking book, they are writing for fuc--
...
He's just an old...friend..?

Person =
Merlin?
Who's he?

Tom =
At least you muggle know who Merlin is!
The famous wizard! You know long, white beard!
...
He was created in Disney--

Person =
Oh!
Him!
...
..
.
I never watched the movie tho

Tom =
...
..
.
I have never felt so disappointed towards the young soul of humanity--

(Author =
Me too
Me too)