Hogwarts Monthly News (Issue 9)

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Last Updated

11/28/24

Chapters

39

Reads

484

Murderous Marlee

Chapter 25

Am I a murderer or not? Would I actually ever kill anyone? To find out, read on!!

I asked 10 people a question, and here are all the answers. First of all, a big thank you to Kyra Shirley, Alexander, Jean.W.P .Granger, Grunko, Aurora Granger, Xylem, Lily, Hazel Emory Antler, Dennis and Neon for volunteering to answer.

So, the 1 million dollar question:
Marlee: Do you think I'm murderous? If yes, why? And, do you think I would kill you if I was a murderer? Also, if you think I wouldn't kill you, why not?

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Kyra Shirley: Well, it really depends...sometimes you can be really nice and sweet, other 
times...YES YOU CAN BE MURDEROUS. For example: When you and I want to kill somebody (not actually kill them obviously)  and there were a few other things, but I can't remember. Overall, you're really nice <333. I hope that wasn't offensive. Ohhh..... I don't think you shouldn't kill me because we're friends, right?  Also, I don't think I deserve to be killed because I still have a lot of life to live, and I could achieve many things in those years.

Marlee: Good answer! For your information, you’re not gonna get murdered.

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Alexander: Hmm, I can't really tell. I'm undecided whether you really have murderous fantasies or are just a goober. If you were a murderer I don't think you would kill me. At least I hope not. The reason why you would not kill me? Uhmmmm I'm too goofy to kill. And I wish you good mornings.

Marlee: Hmm.. pretty sure I have murderous fantasies. You’re safe for now, I suppose. However, I will kill you if you ever steal my chips.

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Jean W.P. Granger: BASICALLY, You are a very good best friend, you are very nice, caring, generous, hard working, but there's one thing people might not realise right away... You see where I'm getting to over here?? So, my answer is YES, YOU CAN BE MURDEROUS, *BUT* I don't think you would murder me, because, first of all, I'm your bestie,  and you wouldn't kill me...right??*Second* of all, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!

Marlee: That’s valid, fr fr. You’re not getting killed either.

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Grunko: No, because you’re a 1- year old girl with none of the traits of a killer. Also, you cried at the deaths in Harry Potter, you couldn’t truly handle watching the life leave someone’s eyes at your own hands.

Marlee (Traumatised): Hit hard, that one did. I think all you meant to say was that I’m super nice. Thank you!!

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Aurora Granger: 🤣 No, I don't think you're murderous. I believe most people are capable of violence in certain situations, but that doesn't make them murderers. We all have the capacity for both good and bad actions. I've found you to be a kind, understanding, and loving person. I don't see any indication that you would be capable of murder.

Marlee: Well, thank you, Aurora!

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Xylem: To be honest, I wouldn't necessarily say that I think you're murderous. Whether or not you would kill me, I'd like to think that you're not capable of doing something like that, but it's hard to say for sure. If you wouldn't kill me, I would hope that it's because you value human life and have a conscience. I don't necessarily think you're murderous based solely on your appearance (pfp 😭) or demeanour. Everyone has the potential for violence under certain circumstances. Regarding whether or not I think you would kill me if you were a murderer, I believe everyone has the capacity for both good and evil, and it depends on various factors such as motivation, opportunity, and context. I'm not convinced you have any reason to harm me, and I don't sense malicious intent from you, at least for now.

Marlee: Yayy, thanks, lol. I’ll think about sparing you <33

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Lily: Well, I dare say "yes", but most definitely in a good way. Most of the time you're really sweet, but I know when it comes to, you know, like people who REALLY annoy you and, shall we say, your friends, you can be serious.
Haha, I don't think you'd kill me (or will you 🤔). Well, I can't recall no time that I annoy you. And I don't even deserve to be killed by a sweet murderer like you XD. (And besides, you said earlier today that you wouldn't kill me lmao).

Marlee: Ah, okay, okay. You’re free to go too!

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Hazel Emory Antler: Hmm, well, Marls, this is a very interesting question. I have no idea how it popped into your mind. I trust that you haven't been reading too many murder mysteries lately?
Anyways, no, I do not think of you as a murderous person. I am afraid that I do not have any records of you killing somebody. I have, of course, heard you threaten somebody (occasionally, that somebody is myself) but I think it is pretty clear that you are too sweet (in other words, harmless) to actually kill somebody. However, I know that you are feisty and have a temper (absolutely NOT personal experience XD XD) so you would always stand up to bullies, which sort of makes you dangerous, but not murderous.
If you were a murderer, you definitely would NOT kill me for several reasons:
1) I'm too adorable.
2) I'm too sweet.
3) I'm your bff.
4) I'm hilarious.
5) Everybody likes me.
6) My ghost would annoy you FOREVER about a certain guy named Dean afterwards.
But mostly reason 3 : ) Oh, and reason 6.
P.S although the fact that you speak in all capitals to me all the time makes me rethink the "you’re not murderous" part.

Marlee: Hmm, Haz, I’ll take your reasons into consideration. Rest assured, you probably won’t be murdered, BUT sometimes, you legit ask for it 😭

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Dennis: Yes, because I think you would be. I think you would definitely kill me because I'm just annoying you all the time. You even say you want me to die quite often. However, I think you wouldn't succeed because I believe that I'm stronger than you and could defend myself.

Marlee: I’m so glad you already know I’m gonna kill you. AND you’re going to be my first victim, so good luck!!

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Neon: Hmm, I can’t really decide whether you’re murderous or not, and to be honest, I don’t know if you would kill me. Depends on what you think of me, that’s the thing.

Marlee: Well, thank you, Neon!!

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Ah, well, with 4 “Yes, you are murderous”, 4 “No, you’re not murderous”, and 2 “I can’t decide whether you’re murderous or not”, I came up with the conclusion that I CAN be murderous (when needed, and if needed), but overall, I’m a very nice, polite and sweet British girl, haha.

Thanks for joining me in figuring out whether I’m actually murderous or not, and I’ll see you next time. However, always remember, as Agatha Christie once said, every murderer is probably someone’s old friend. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Written by Marlee Potter.

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