30 Reasons Not To
written by Katie Malfoy
30 reasons not to do any of the following: *Work In Progress
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
2
Reads
628
1. Sword Fight With The Giant Squid
Chapter 1
1. You will lose.
2. Lola (I think the giant squid suits the name) will demand a sword for each tentacle, which means she can attack you from all angles.
3. If Lola only gets one sword, she will keep switching the tentacle that she holds it in and you'll end up extremely confused.
4. There is no point participating in a game you will never, in a million years, be able to win.
5. You'll get very hurt.
6. You might need Madame Pomfrey's medical care.
7. It's against school rules (not that anyone pays attention to those, right?).
8. Lola gets bored of sword fighting all the time. Try Call Of Duty.
9. Lots of the students will watch and think you're a lunatic.
10. Your reputation will be ruined in the case of the latter.
11. People will laugh at you for being beaten by a squid with years of practise at sword fighting.
12. The teachers usually get pretty angry.
13. You'll get The Talk.
14. The Talk consists of: "Do you think The Giant Squid enjoys sword fighting? Of course it doesn't! It's very inconsiderate of you to disturb it looks that!"
15. Detention is probable.
16. Peeves will laugh at you for months.
17. Your future kids will think you're mad.
18. Dumbledore will (as he always does) offer you a lemon drop, his eyes twinkling like he knows everything.
19. Lola may decapitate you.
20. There won't be enough time to draw your wand and fight with that.
21. Lola often gets hungry. For humans.
22. It will look stupid on your gravestone.
23. You'll lose your nose (why do you think Voldemort doesn't have one?)
24. If you hurt her, you'll be expelled.
25. If( by some miracle) you do win, you'll never be able to step foot near the Black Lake again because Lola and her friends will try to murder you.
26. James Potter won. He's now dead. Voldemort killed him? That's what they want you to think!
27. Professor Kettleburn lost a large amount of his limbs doing it.
28.How do you think Moody lost his leg? A fantastic duel with a death eater? Nope. Lola cut it off. When they were sword fighting.
29. The only person to ever beat her is Dumbledore. Since he's better at everything than everyone else ever will be, you have no chance.
30. It's fun. Too much fun can get you detention with Snape. Surely you know how much he detests other peoples' happiness?
2. Lola (I think the giant squid suits the name) will demand a sword for each tentacle, which means she can attack you from all angles.
3. If Lola only gets one sword, she will keep switching the tentacle that she holds it in and you'll end up extremely confused.
4. There is no point participating in a game you will never, in a million years, be able to win.
5. You'll get very hurt.
6. You might need Madame Pomfrey's medical care.
7. It's against school rules (not that anyone pays attention to those, right?).
8. Lola gets bored of sword fighting all the time. Try Call Of Duty.
9. Lots of the students will watch and think you're a lunatic.
10. Your reputation will be ruined in the case of the latter.
11. People will laugh at you for being beaten by a squid with years of practise at sword fighting.
12. The teachers usually get pretty angry.
13. You'll get The Talk.
14. The Talk consists of: "Do you think The Giant Squid enjoys sword fighting? Of course it doesn't! It's very inconsiderate of you to disturb it looks that!"
15. Detention is probable.
16. Peeves will laugh at you for months.
17. Your future kids will think you're mad.
18. Dumbledore will (as he always does) offer you a lemon drop, his eyes twinkling like he knows everything.
19. Lola may decapitate you.
20. There won't be enough time to draw your wand and fight with that.
21. Lola often gets hungry. For humans.
22. It will look stupid on your gravestone.
23. You'll lose your nose (why do you think Voldemort doesn't have one?)
24. If you hurt her, you'll be expelled.
25. If( by some miracle) you do win, you'll never be able to step foot near the Black Lake again because Lola and her friends will try to murder you.
26. James Potter won. He's now dead. Voldemort killed him? That's what they want you to think!
27. Professor Kettleburn lost a large amount of his limbs doing it.
28.How do you think Moody lost his leg? A fantastic duel with a death eater? Nope. Lola cut it off. When they were sword fighting.
29. The only person to ever beat her is Dumbledore. Since he's better at everything than everyone else ever will be, you have no chance.
30. It's fun. Too much fun can get you detention with Snape. Surely you know how much he detests other peoples' happiness?
