Chapter One - Saoirse.

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I stand stock still as the crowd in front of me begins to move mindlessly towards the scarlet engine, all eager to find the best compartments and bag the good seats before their peers: Teenagers laughing among themselves, joking together in their cliques, eleven-year-olds standing with their parents, nervous of their road ahead, prefects moving busily through the crowd, clipboards in hand. Everyone's excited, though  - everyone eager to get on this train , whoever they are. Except for me.

Why do I dread it so? To tell you the truth, I have no idea. It’s not  nervousness that has settled in my stomach, it’s dread. Dread of the unknown path ahead, a rite of passage that hasn’t been crafted by me, that I'm not  in control of. Anything could happen at Hogwarts. Anything. And I’m not prepared for it.

I know I’m going to be an outcast there. I’m too caught up in the world of my thoughts, wandering within my mind and seldom speaking to other people if I have to. I’ve lead a strange life up to this point and I’m not used to society, I'm not  used to people. I can already foresee that I’ll be known as the ‘mad Irish girl’ here. But I know that I'll survive if I just depend on and stick to myself - and I'm very good at that.

“Hey.” A voice from beside me says in warm, friendly tones, making me jump out of my skin as I leave my head for the first time that day and turn to find the speaker is a pretty girl my age, smiling shyly to reveal perfect white teeth that add to her attractiveness. “I’m Peggy - Peggy Glenn.”

I'm silent for a moment, still evaluating her as she stands before me. Her accent surprises, echoing American tones - New York, I think. I always try to get a sense of what a person is like on first sight and looked her up and down for a few seconds, attempting to work out her character from a single glance. Tanned skin, dark eyes, neatly tied back hair that curls as it falls back in a pony tail. She's dressed in a vintage dress, dainty and a sunny yellow-gold colour. After a quick inspection, I sense that she’s shy but eager and warm to her slightly, snapping out of my dreary mood.

“Hello, Peggy.” I hold my hand out and smile slightly, testing the name in my Irish lilt. “I’m Saoirse."

Peggy smiles again, her face lighting up but eyes showing her nerves once she's shaken my hand and begins to take once more. "I'm new this year - starting in my sixth. Thing is, I'm a bit lost of what to do and where to go - it sounds silly, I know, I'm just a little nervous meeting people I don't know." She babbles slightly but I like her honesty. If I were her I'd be doing the same. However, I'm me and have just decided to wing it as an outcast.

"Do you think you could show me the ropes?" She asks, finishing her speech and looking at me hopefully.

"Well the thing is - I'm new here too. I've joined as a sixth year." I admit, smiling with a touch of shyness. There’s a pause as I see something in the corner of my eyes and suddenly realize what’s happening "Though I do believe that we need to get on the train before it moves off." I watch as the brakes are released and reach to pick up my trunk, beginning to run. All my dawdling could cost me dearly and I can see the scene from a muggle film evolving as we both realise there is a chance we won't be going to Hogwarts this year. "Come on!" Peggy grabs hers as well and we drag them along, running to the engine and reach the doors just in time, the entrance closing with a clunk just as we make it in. The train begins to move a moment later, and in our relief, we look at each other and each let out a giggle. It's after a small pause that we stop panting and Peggy turns to look around, all of the other students seated in various compartments and the train rolling out of the station and entering the dark tunnel, the atmosphere suddenly more ominous than before.

"Well, we'd better find a compartment." Peggy says reluctantly, picking up her trunk once more.

I nod, taking my own in hand and moving to walk down the corridor, nerves returning slightly as I find almost all compartments contain students that I do not want to socialise with - giggling groups of teenage girls reading fashion magazines and examining their hair, one packed full of first years who all seem to be discussing the upcoming sorting, another where a fight over two Quidditch teams seems to have broken out. Behind me I can hear Peggy breathing carefully, her nervousness apparently greater than mine, wary of everything and self conscious as a few students lift their heads to see us walk by. However, that feeling does not come to me as they do so - I just want to find a compartment, settle down and get down to reflecting on the sorting that will happen upon arrival. So, trying to ignore the increasing number of stares as we pass numerous compartments, I walk on down the train until Peggy stops me.

"Saoirse." She calls, grabbing my arm. "Saoirse stop. What about here?" She nods her head to a compartment we just passed containing what look to be two girls around our age, neither exchanging any conversation but simply sitting there ready with a peaceful air. I nod and turn to follow Peggy, liking the look of the quiet compartment. It looked like a place where I could sit in silence and reflect, plus hopefully not have to socialise because a certain level of shyness has  entered my system. Unfortunately, however, I have forgotten that Peggy is not one for sitting quietly and is a little to eager to make friends.

"Hello - could we sit here?" She starts the conversation before we could even enter the compartment, beaming at the two girls in there. I feel like being antisocial and moody then, as one of the inhabitants of the desired seating area looks up and smiles at us two, but then realise that I'll never be able to pull that off and have to be friendly. Not that it pains me. It just isn't part of my plan.

"Of course. Take a seat." The girl in question says, putting aside her magazine and shifting to make room for Peggy on her seat. Peggy at once enters, hauling her trunk onto the rack above and sitting down with another shy smile, and I grin automatically as well, following on and taking a seat beside the other girl, a dark haired individual who is still staring out of the window with frozen eyes and does not say a word as the other begins to speak.

"I'm Elena – Elena Fairweather. Most people call me Lena." Lena, as she introduces herself, receives a glance from me as I evaluate her as well. Her ash blonde hair is cut short and in a tomboyish fashion, pale blue eyes framed with long, almost colourless lashes, peer from a heart shaped face and her smile is pretty but guarded, as if she's not quite sure of what she's doing. "I take it you're new students?"

Peggy and I both nod. "Yup." Peggy says, her voice lacking the light-hearted tones that should have matched her words and instead hinting at wariness. "I'm Margaret Glenn - though most people call me Peggy. I'll be starting in sixth year."

"Same here." I say a less forward manner. "I'm Saoirse, by the way."

"Where are you from?" Lena notices both of our accents with interest and let's go of her courtesies as her interest overrules them, only nodding at us before driving forward the question. "You're accents are awesome."

"Well I'm American...although my Mother is English. I just moved over here." Peggy answers, slightly reluctant to elaborate on her heritage, for some reason.

Lena smiles. "I'm half American but I've lived in London all my life - unfortunately I don't get the fantastic accent."

Peggy laughs slightly embarrassedly, though personally I do agree that her less exaggerated accent is actually very nice. "No, you do not want my accent. Saoirse's is the pretty one."

I raise an eyebrow, but before I can comment, Lena's looking at me with interest. "Where are you from?"

"Ireland." I answer shortly, my accent becoming much stronger as I mention my home country.

"Aww, I love Ireland - I've always wanted to be Irish. For one the accents are great, and Peggy was right, yours is no exception." Lena says wistfully before genuinely complimenting me. She seems to be another of the honest type and I feel myself warming to her, though her next comment makes me bring my guard up. "Where in Ireland do you come from?"

I hesitate, trying to think of something to make up. My real heritage is not information I'm going to give out and my past is not something I want to think about. "I..."

"DANCING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY SEVENTEEN, OH YE-E-EAH!" Suddenly my stutter has been cut across by the loud belting of the dark haired girl next to me, who has jerked into life and started singing ABBA in her very powerful voice. "YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN J-IVE, HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LI-I-IFE. WOOO-HOOOO, SEE THAT GIRL, WHAT THAT SCE-"

"Kate!" Lena stops the strange singer in mid-sentence. "Kate, I know you weren't able to bring your music player but can you please retain from blowing our eardrums out with your singing?"

'Kate' turns her head to look at us and shrugs defiantly, obviously not bothered. "I can't play the music so I just have to make the music myself. ‘SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT-'"

"This is about my guitar, isn't it." Lena cuts across the girl again. They seem to be friends and Lena appears to have dealt with this before.

"Why would it be about your guitar?" Questions the other girl in a voice that is far too innocent to contradict Lena's statement. "YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN-"

"Okay, okay, I'll play the song on my guitar when we get to Hogwarts." Lena seems to give in to the indirect request and, in turn, Kate flops back down onto her seat and grins at her.

"Thank you." Now that she's not singing, I notice the girl's accent is slightly strange, unlike anything I've heard before and a little bizarre. I don't have time to comment, though, as the girl is now looking around and seems to notice Peggy and I for the first time. "So....who have we here?"

"Kate, they just introduced themselves. Didn't you hear?" Lena says in exasperation, though there's an undertone of humour in her voice.

Kate eyes both of us and then says complacently. "Oh yeah, you're American and you're Irish. I caught that bit. I'm afraid ABBA was controlling my head before that so I didn't catch your names."

"Well - erm - I'm Peggy." Peggy days, smiling curiously at this apparently bonkers girl. "And I'm only half American."

"Ok. So you're Only Half American - O.H.A. for short, and you are?" Kate turns to look at me with one eyebrow raised, looking for an answer.

"Sear-Sha." I answer, pronouncing my name particularly clearly in hope she won't nickname me.

"Right. Nice to meet you Tortoise." Kate answers, me pronunciation clearly having done nothing for me. "So we have O.H.A., Tortoise and Eel." She looks around at us and then, to mine and Peggy's bemusement, places her forefingers on her temples and rubs the side of her face before taking them down again. "Right. Tortoise, O.H.A. and Eel are now saved in my memory banks."

Peggy raises an eyebrow, looking slightly confused, and Kate notices. "I forget names easily." The girl explains, as if it's a normal thing to do.

"You should remember my name, you idiot, I've known you for six years." Lena says with humour. "However, I refuse to be called Eel. My name is Elena, for god's sake."

"Sorry, already got you saved as Eel." Kate says brusquely before turning to us. "So, O.H.A. and Tortoise, what brings you to Hogwarts?"

I inspect Kate as she faces me with bemusement, letting Peggy answer first because I don't have a truthful reply. She looks a bit older than me, Peggy and Lena, her body hinting at maturity. Her wide set brown eyes are sharp and hold an intelligent glint but have a more immature character to them and her attitude adds to that. A wide mouth boasts dimples, her skin is tanned and her figure tall and lean - she looks to be over six foot, taller than me, Peggy and Lena, by the looks of it.

"My family just moved over here, though I've been going back and forth between England and America most of my life." Peggy's saying. "But now we're here for good so I'll be spending my last two years of education at Hogwarts."

"Where did you live in America?" Lena asks Peggy politely.

“Well my family lives in Yorkshire now but I used to live in Salem, Massachusetts. In the country.” Peggy answers at once, seemingly happy to talk about her home, which has brought a misted look to her eyes. But I can see where the conversation’s heading as Kate comments and begins to turn her head, and I stand up, moving to slip into the corridor. However, before I can do so, another individual has got to the door and slides it open to enter, standing at the doorway and grinning at all of us.

“Hey Kate, Lena.” The girl, who looks to be around the same age as us and is wearing a shining green and silver badge with a ‘P’ sewn in black upon it, takes a step forward and turns to address me and Peggy. “You are the two newbies, right? Joining in sixth year?”

Peggy and I automatically exchange glances and I surprise myself by speaking first. "Yes, we're both new."

Peggy nods and the girl grins widely, moving to tick a box on her clipboard before taking a step forward, sliding the compartment door shut and sitting down next to Kate.

"So who's Saoirse and who's Peggy?" She enquires in a friendly manner, looking from me to Peggy with a smile. However, before either of us can answer, Kate starts speaking;

"No no no, Groot, you've got it wrong. It's Tortoise and O.H.A." As Kate informs the girl, who seems to be a friend, she nods from me to Peggy and the girl laughs.

"Come up with some more nicknames, Kate?" She questions in a teasing manner, appearing to be quite close friends with Kate. "What does O.H.A. stand for?"

"Only Half American." Slips in Lena with a grin.

"Ok..." The girl turns back to me and Peggy with a welcoming smile and amusement in her eyes. "Well I take it you're Peggy." She looks to Peggy and Peggy grins and nods. "And you're Saoirse?"

I nod, smiling slightly as the girl addresses both of us. "Nice to meet you. I'm Claire Dashwood, the Slytherin prefect. I was given the task of finding you two but got here a bit late. My apologies."

Like with the other girls in the compartment, I feel myself warming to Claire straight away. She seems a most honest, un-slytherin like person and also dependable and trustworthy, at a glance. There's also an air of organisation and leadership about the girl, enhanced by her high, arching eyebrows and prominent cheekbones and chin. Her eyes are a pale grey-green and fringed by long, dark lashes and her hair cut in a neat bob, warm brown and falling to become lighter as you reach the bottom. She looks considerably more sane than Kate, but there’s similarities between the two that I can’t quite pin point and it’s clear she’s good friends with both Lena and Kate.

“Dashwood? That’s a very British name.” Peggy pipes up, grinning before realising that she hadn’t meant to say it. But Claire just laughs.

“You’re thinking of Sense and Sensibility.” Claire remarks with amusement, though I have no idea what she’s going on about, though a faint memory of some sappy victorian romance novel comes to mind and my suspicions are confirmed when Peggy leaps in again.

“Oh I love that book. It’s one of my all-time favourites.”

Claire looks amused and pauses but before she can remark, Lena’s already started a teenage book-club conversation. “Me too! Pride and Prejudice was great as well.”

I watch as Kate surprises me by joining in, though she wrinkles her nose as she comments. “Pride and Prejudice was the first and last Jane Austen book I read. Darcy annoyed the shit out of me all the way through.”

I watch in amusement as Peggy looks passionate and begins to defend what appears to be a favorite character of hers. “He’s meant to be snobbish and horrible but then turn out to have a completely different side and reveal it was all an act - that’s the reason I like him, he’s a complicated character who is slightly unpredictable.”

“Meh, he still annoyed me.” Kate flops back in her seat and I can see she’s winding up Peggy slightly.

“How could he annoy you when he gave the book a happy ending?” Peggy rises to it and continues, much to the amusement of Claire, Lena and I, it seems, to try and debate fictional characters.

“I don’t like happy endings. Sad ones where everyone dies are much better.” Kate answers in a don’t-careish way, eyeing Peggy slyly.

“Well of course, but I still think that-” Peggy attempts to spread her even opinions but instead is cut across by Kate, who certainly does it in hilarious fashion.

“I mean, Elizabeth obviously should have died…”

“Well who would have killed her?”

“Darcy. It'd make a great horror film.”

“Well-”

“Guys, guys, stop it. I don’t need to know about Died and Prejudice or whatever thriller film you want to plan but I do want to hear more about our two newcomers.” Claire calls Kate to order and restrains a grin. Peggy then loses her hot look and laughs sensibly once more, but Kate still looks mischievous until Claire silences her with a look and turns to Peggy. “So, which house d’you think you’ll be in? Did your parents go here?” Kate opens her mouth in the foreground and Claire cuts across her before she can speak. “And yes, Kate, a zombie Darcy would be awesome.”

There are laughs, Kate grins, Peggy nods, Claire smiles, Lena chuckles – and I move to slip out of the compartment.

I’m lucky that Peggy draws so much attention and also that they failed to notice me in the discussions of Victorian romance novels, otherwise I would never have got out of there. But discussions of the past are something I have to avoid. Discussions of the past would bring old pains back to the surface.

I close the door quietly and walk forward to gaze at the countryside that’s flashing by as the train journeys through remote hills and forests on the way to Scotland, turning my mind to the matter of houses. To be honest, I’m not sure which house I’ll be in. I’ve never dug beneath the surface and had a look at my character - it’s as if I don’t want to know who I really am. But maybe being sorted into a specific house will help. Maybe I’ll finally be able to find my place in life.

It’s as I’m losing myself in my head once more and turn to walk down the corridor that I collide with someone - someone who smells very much of damp and wet dog. Both of us make a muffled sound as we slam into one another and my rebound is so violent I begin to fall backwards before someone grabs my hand and with a sharp tug, hauls me back onto my feet again. It’s then that I see the person I collided with, who also happens to be the one who saved me from an undignified fall. A boy of around my age is standing in front of me with embarrassment, dirty blonde hair falling about his face in a long fringe and a slight moustache above his lip. There are also marks on his face - shallow gashes that make you think something has clawed at him, although his blue-grey eyes are undamaged and now look at me bashfully from under the messy hair.

“God, I’m awfully sorry.” He pushes back his hair and looks down. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Neither was I.” I say automatically. “There’s no need to apologise.”

As soon as I’ve spoken, I realise I have a problem - I’m being too spontaneous. I’m not thinking about what I say or when I say it and I’m acting to...instinctually? Usually I guard my speech and don’t say something until I’ve evaluated it in my head. Still, I have to let it go because we’re now staring at each other awkwardly and the silence is painful.

“I’m Saoirse, by the way.” I hold out a hand and introduce myself involuntarily.

He smiles shyly at me, raking his hair back again with one hand. “I’m Remus - Remus Lupin.” He takes my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

The introductions break the pause for a second but there's another painful moment of silence before he speaks again. “So, erm, I haven’t seen you around. Are you-”

“Hey, Moony - catch!” A voice suddenly calls from behind and a second later the whistling of an object through the air. I turn and duck instinctively and the missile whizzes over my head and presumably into Remus’ hands, as there’s a quiet slapping sound of hands clasping around an object. However, I don’t stop to check - I’m more focused on having a go at my attackers, who have just almost taken my head off with a quaffle.

“You eejits! Did you want to decapitate me in your little game?’’

As I say, first impressions certainly affect my attitude towards someone, and these initial judgments of the individuals approaching me had not be pleasant. Two - no three - boys were striding along the corridor arrogantly - or rather two were striding and one was scampering behind pathetically and watching them with an idolizing expression.

“Ooh, we have an Irish gal here, do we?” One remarks - a tall boy with long black hair to his shoulders and a handsome face, though it holds an expression of cockiness at this moment.

“Oh for fecks sake.” My accent thickens and my moodiness increases as I whisper under my breath and roll my eyes. The three boys, however, don’t pay attention as they come to a stop and one calls to Remus;

“Finally found yourself a girl to talk to, Moony?” This time the speaker’s a boy who’s slightly shorter than the other one and wears round framed glasses, also very good looking and wearing the same expression.

“More like collide with.” I snap, though I’m not particularly angry at Remus. For some reason these boys have got my back up because of my initial judgment and their careless attitude is already got on my nerves, though Remus, or ‘Moony’, as they seem to be calling him, isn’t necessarily irritating me.  

“Well, who have we here?” Questions the one with the glasses, moving his eyes to me. “An Iri-”

“Her name’s Saoirse.” Remus seems to unintentionally cut across his friend, the boy with the glasses looking up for a second, raising an eyebrow, then turning back to me.

“Saoirse what?”

I shrug. “Evans.” I turn my head to avoid eye contact, not wanting to meet my gaze with this annoying boy. His voice changes tone, however, when he next speaks.

“Evans? What, like Lily Evans?”

I search my mind for Muggle celebrities but find nothing. “Who on earth is Lily Evans.”

“James’ crush.” Sniggers the little fat one at the back, trying to join in the conversation. However, ‘James’ sends him a look of both venom and warning before turning back to me.

“You’re new, then?”

I nod carefully. “Yes.”

“Sixth year?” James persists. I’m wondering where this is going but I simply nod again.

“Yes.”

He pauses, coking his head to look at me and smirking as if I’m greatly amusing just standing here, then moves after. “Well, see you around, Irish Gal.” He clicks his tongue, as if done with me now and ready to move on to some other source of entertainment, and moves to walk past. “Make sure you come to Gryffindor.” He calls carelessly, causing me to call after the four retreating figures.

“Not if you’re there.” I most certainly do not want to become a Gryffindor if that eejiit and his little gang can be found there. I pause and, eyes misted over once more, then the clunking of a compartment door opening makes my jump and turn to see Lena poking her head out into the corridor a little further down.

“Where’d you go?” She asks with a friendly grin.

“Oh...just for a a bit of…” Fresh air? I search my mind for an answer and end up stuttering. “Just for a bit of peace and quiet.”

Lena laughs, apparently amused at my pathetic excuse. “Well you might find it in the compartment now - Kate’s doing fortune telling for all of us and the only noise she’s making is humming at the moment. Wanna come and see?”

I grin, warmth suddenly returning. These girls are nice - they could even be friends. And so, with a smile to myself as Lena’s head pops back in, I head to the compartment and let the tension in my heart go - for now.

* 'eejit' is basically Irish slang for 'idiot'