The Hogwarts Entertainment Magazine: Issue #7
A Magazine Suitable for all students; this fortnightly school newspaper contains all the best ways to entertain Hogwarts Students, from tempting recipes to amusing columns, there's something for everyone! This issue features an interesting article on the information on american magic recently released on pottermore, a different kind of introduction and even more!
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
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Entertainment Section
Chapter 31
-Entertainment Section-
This section is a wonderfully entertaining jumble of things put together to hopefully amuse readers, containing Harry Potter jokes, funny columns, memes and more - there are changes made each week so that's why this introduction lacks a list. The writers for this section are:
Dean McCormick (monthly)
Lilia Le Fay
Lexi Horst
Maria Fell
A few (days, weeks, months?) ago, I was talking to the voices in my head. I named them Garroth (as in Garroth from Minecraft Diares and if you watch that YouTube series OMG) and Pandora. Garroth is the voice of reason while Pandora... Is what her name implies. So, Pandora gave me an idea. To write a letter to my crush, admitting I liked him. In GREEK. So, I did. This is what it said: Αγαπητοί Crush ,
Σας άρεσε για μια στιγμή τώρα . Είμαι πάντα ντροπαλός γύρω σας , και ελπίζω να αισθάνονται το ίδιο. Επίσης , ελπίζω να είναι καλά στην υγεία τους .
Από,
Lexi
Now, that was fine and dandy. But, then I translated this in Greek because I was bored: Αστερίες φυσαλίδες πατάτες σταφύλια ντομάτας με τυρί (which means Star) φούσκα αστέρι κίτρινο φίλους brownie χρόνο, which means Bubble yellow star friends brownie time. And of course, I accidentally sent THAT to my crush. I am so embarrassed! Well, I might live. Heh! See you guys soon!
Meme:
JOKES:
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Cornelius
-Cornelius who?
-Well, that's politics for you....
Whats snapes boggart?
and he was like what?
And I said " A cauldron full of Shampoo!"
'Ask Me':
Harry Potter Scene – ‘Harry Potter is Dead!’
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IhuI759LDco" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
-FANTASTIC BEAST OF THE ISSUE - Troll-
A Troll is a magical creature of prodigious strength and immense stupidity. In fact, they are so stupid that they actually had a wizarding exam failing grade. named after them. They are dangerously violent and incredibly aggressive, and then engage in unpredictable behavior, comparable to giants. However, Giants seem to be more intelligent than trolls.
In appearance, they are no less remarkable or pleasant, having grey-green skin and being bald and usually filthy. Trolls generally reach a height of about twelve feet and weigh up to a ton. Their whiskers have magical properties, and are sometimes used as wand cores, and their feet have two toes, both with giant toenails. They are very ugly creatures, and also smell.
Trolls originated in Scandinavia, but are now found all across Europe. There are also three sub-species of troll:
▪ <a href="http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Mountain_Troll">Mountain Troll</a>
▪ <a href="http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Forest_Troll">Forest Troll</a>
▪ <a href="http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/River_Troll">River Troll</a>
Troll language is nothing more than simple grunts that only Trolls seem to be able to interpret, though skilled magical multi-linguists can understand them. The creatures understand only a limited number of human words, and some smarter ones can be skillfully trained as security Trolls.
Professor Quirinus Quirrel had a gift for communicating with Trolls, and then used it to set one loose in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in 1991 in an effort to steal the Philosopher’s Stone. The troll was also Quirrel contribution to guarding the Philosopher’s Stone.
Harry Potter Character of the Issue: Bathsheda Babbling
When she started we suspected that she was 17 or 19, there is not much known on Bathsheda there is a lot unknown about her. But we should know all the information we can on all our teachers, past and present as they are important.
-Wizarding War Families-
This month we will be discussing a certain family who seem to have kept quite a low profile since the wizarding war – the Malfoys.
Since Draco’s formal and heartfelt apology through an interview in the daily prophet, asking us to forgive him and admitting the crimes he had committed during the war, in 1999; the Malfoy family has kept out of the public eye. Lucius Malfoy, as known, went to prison shortly after peace was declared, and Narcissa and Draco moved away to America for a fresh start.
However, Draco did return two years later after graduating from Eaglesclaw School of witchcraft and wizardry, looking for a job at the ministry of magic and courting Miss Astoria Greengrass, an old classmate of his. And, despite his criminal record, Draco was given a job in the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, later marrying Astoria and having his first son, Scorpius.
But now, ten years on, what are the family up to?
Draco, since starting at the bottom in the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, has proved his worth and is now a member of the Wizengamot and deals with many court cases. He has said to have made peace with Harry Potter and his past has been set behind him, and though still being described as a little stiff and cold, is well acknowledged by his colleagues and said to be a hard worker.
Astoria is a part-time potioneer, running a business from home in remedies as well as caring for their two children, Scorpius and Vladimir, who are now ten and eight and has recently taken a visit to the Durmstrang Academy of the North. It is thought that Draco and Astoria are thinking of sending the boys to be schooled there as they also have relatives in Russia.
Which brings us to the last family member we will mention (Lucius Malfoy is not one we will discuss as he remains rotting in Azkaban), Narcissa Malfoy. After grieving for her husband’s fate, Astoria wished to have the memories of him removed, and was treated specially with memory charms for it to be so. She now lives a peacefully life in north-west Russia, just up from Moscow, studying her family history and attending leisurely activities. Sge never apologised for her activity in the wizarding war but has been recognisably forgiven by Harry Potter himself, having saved his life, and keeps away from public life now.
So that concludes our update on our famed families for this issue! Turn back to this page for more next time!
Fancy writing a column for this section of the magazine? Simply owl Lilia Le Fay from her page here <a href="http://www.hogwartsishere.com/lilyinthelake12/">http://www.hogwartsishere.com/lilyinthelake12/</a> and you have a chance!
That's all for this Issue's entertainment section! Read next time for more amusing presentations!
