Friday, January 3, 1991 1992

Thank Merlin break is almost over. I've run out of assignments to keep me occupied. Tara and I have made up since Christmas. We sat with each other normal as anything the next day and we've been fine since. Moony wrote me asking if I liked the book. I've told him I did, because, well, I really did. It was nice. It just wasn't him. But I think he's not mad at me. Maybe he never was. Maybe I was just panicking for no reason. 

Wednesday, January 8, 1992

Classes have started again. I thought I would be relieved but I just want to jump out a window and run away. It would be so much better if more of my lessons were with Tara, but she's usually with the Slytherins. Poor soul has to deal with Malfoy on a constant basis. And quite frankly I'd rather deal with the Gryffindors at this point. I'm always opposite the Hufflepuffs in class. Most of them are nice, at least on the surface. But the ones who are mean are very mean. Openly glaring at me across the room as if I killed their dog or something. And some of their thoughts- yeesh. I'm starting to think maybe I'm the one in danger. 

Saturday, January 18, 1992

First full moon of 1992 is tomorrow. I hope it goes well. If the first one of the year is horrible, then they might as well all be. All the first years have a class together in the astronomy tower tomorrow to see the full moon. It's going to be cold. But Tara will be there. I better bring extra mittens, there's no way she'll remember hers. 

Tuesday, January 21, 1992

Okay so Astronomy went horribly. My stupid scars apparently open up under the full moon. Somehow I've managed to go four whole years without being directly exposed to the full moon and I had no idea. I was taking notes quietly when Malfoy just started screeching. I looked up and he was pointing at me. That's when I noticed I was bleeding. The scars had been a little sore, but that just happens sometimes. Of course, everyone freaked out, Tara included. I guess I hadn't told her what the scars were from. The professor had her take me to Madam Pomfrey. She was very quiet as we walked. Finally I just looked in her head because she was freaking me out. She was wondering if I was a werewolf. I didn't know what to do. I grabbed her arm and stopped her, then just showed her everything in my head. How Moony is a werewolf. How when I was seven, the werewolf who turned him, Fenrir Greyback, came across us in a little hotel. He was delighted to see Remus had a kid of his own, but disappointed when I wasn't a werewolf too. Remus decided to have us leave that night, even though we didn't really have anywhere to go. Greyback followed us and had his cronies distract Remus. I don't remember a lot but the scars aren't just on the left side of my chin. They go down my left arm, across my chest, and down my right leg. I'm only lucky Moony got to me when he did. I'm only lucky it wasn't a full moon that night. And I'm so lucky Madame Pomfrey knew exactly what to do, because Merlin's beard, walking up all those stairs hurt. 

Wednesday, January 29, 1992

The whole of Ravenclaw thinks I'm a werewolf, and I've been having nightmares now. Stupid scars. I want to write Moony, but I hate to. I know he's never forgiven himself. I wouldn't if it was flipped, even though I know there was nothing to be done. I would talk to dad, but he doesn't know. The version of me he sees when I talk to him doesn't have scars. I should probably tell him at some point, but I don't know. He's already completely depressed. Tara and I haven't really talked about it all. I know I kind of put a lot on her all at once. But I do feel better now that someone knows. I know if I wanted to talk to her I could just ask. But I won't. I don't really feel like crying at her again. Ugh. I just wanna crawl out of my skin. Nothing to do but focus on school.