“Now,
students, for your homework, you'll need to write an essay on
Veritaserum. I want you to include the ingredients, the origin, and
the discoverer of the potion.” Professor Slughorn said, pointing to
a list on the chalk board. I scribbled notes furiously as Slughorn
began erasing the board.

It
had been four days since the night I flipped out at Remus. I felt the
same as I had last year –
no friends, studies being my only concern. After knowing what if felt
like to actually have friends that care about you, it wasn't as nice
as it was then. As much time I had spent scolding myself for missing
Remus, or Lily, or Molly, or Alice, I still felt bad that I had acted
the way I did to them. Though, I knew they
would never be close
friends
again.

But I couldn't help but
wonder about that first day in the library. When Remus started acting
all weird, he said he was a monster and that he needed to stay away.
Did that mean that he didn't want people to find out about him, or
that he didn't want to hurt me?

I
got up with the rest of the class and walked out of the Potions
classroom. I had lunch next, then a two hour break, then DADA, then I
was done for the day.

Lunch was easily the worst
part of the day. I got glares from Lily and Molly every second, and
glances from the Marauders, mostly Remus. I was sure that he knew
that if he tried to talk to me, I would slap him in the face.

But, honestly, I wasn't sure
if I would do that anymore. I was to the point where I wasn't hating
him. I missed him. I wanted to meet with him in the library every
night. I wanted to laugh and talk with him. I wanted to stay up late
in the common room with him, chatting, studying, whatever. I really,
really missed him.

But I wasn't ready to talk to
him yet. And I wasn't sure I would ever be. I didn't want to look
like the kind of girl who doesn't keep any promises.

So
lunch sucked. I picked at my mashed
potatoes for about ten minutes, then gave up and went to the common
room to cry.

So that's what I did. I sat
on the couch and bawled my eyes out. Remus's desperate face, tears
slipping down his cheeks, James' bad jokes gone, Sirius's broken
face, my friends unforgiving faces, it all just came at me all at
once. I hated myself for acting the way I did to them. They were all
such nice people. They had never done anything to me.

I was so busy feeling bad for
myself that I didn't notice my friends coming in. When I did, they
rolled their eyes at me and went up the stairs to the girls'
dormitories.

A few minutes later, Sirius
came in. He still had a multitude of cuts and scratches on his face,
and a bandage over one eye. He saw me and smiled a little – but it
wasn't a mean smile. It was genuine, like he felt bad for me.

He
sat down on the couch by me and put his arm around my shoulder. I
sobbed into his shirt.

“So your friends hate you,”
he said. I nodded, wiping my eyes.

“You know about Moony?” I
nodded again.

“Doesn't really match his
personality, does it?” he said. “You know, the whole 'I only like
studying and chocolate' thing?” I shook my head.

“I couldn't believe it when
I connected all the dots,” I murmured into his shirt. I remembered
Lily and Molly, staring at me with a look of disapproval, their arms
crossed. Sirius's shattered face in the hospital wing.

“I hope you know that he's
really not a bad guy,” Sirius said. I sighed.

“I don't know anymore. But
I miss him.” And then I told him everything: the library, lunch,
how much I missed my friends. How much I thought of them – mostly
Remus. Sirius just grinned and nodded.

“Well then. You need to
tell Moony, first of all, that you have gargantuan crush on him.”
he said.

“That's not – I don't -”

“Yes, you do, we all know
that you do, just tell him.” Sirius grinned. “And your friends
will come around soon. They always do.” I rolled my eyes.

“I don't like him,” I
said, “...well, I guess I like him as a friend, but
– I don't like him the way you think I do.”

“Well,
I shouldn't say this to you, but he likes you.” I widened my eyes
at him. “So you should tell him you're sorry. He's been just as
crushed as you have for the past five days.” He
paused for a second to let it sink in.

“Are you going to talk to
him tomorrow?” he asked. “Maybe go with him to Hogsmeade?” I
shrugged.

“Maybe, I guess.” He
grinned and gripped me tighter.

“That's
the Rachel I know.” I rolled my eyes. He didn't seem like he was
flirting with me anymore, though.

“God, Sirius. You barely
know me.”

“I know you better than
most.” he said, grinning. I frowned.

“And how is that?”

“Well, you don't talk to
anyone except for me, James, Remus, Lily, Molly, and Alice.”

“I'm not the talking type.”

“I can see that.” I
smiled.

“You're like the big
brother I never had.”