Do you ever find yourself in that state of perfect equilibrium? You know, that moment of calm where you have complete awareness of all your problems; but for some reason you feel like you have total control over them? As I sat in my own private corner of 'The L.C', quietly sipping my coffee, and watching Gail sashaying around in full-on wench; I had one of those moments.

It lasted for approximately four seconds. In that moment, everything overwhelmed me. My rent, Pint Pot, the case and, uncharacteristically, my distinct lack of magic.

An ear-splitting crash caused everyone in the bar to look around and Pint Pot to topple off his perch; as blurry shape streaked into the pub and stopped dead beside my table. In front of me stood a small disheveled little man in his mid-thirties; though the crooked smile and the glint in his eye that screamed 'up-to-no-good' may have placed him a good ten years younger. He wore a slightly battered robe that ten years ago would probably have been de rigueur and very expensive they were also a fraction too big for the wizard making him see a little smaller than his full five foot six inches. The wizard shook his mane of wavy shoulder-length hair and nodded in my direction.

"Wotcha' Nic'! The wizard grinned a gap-toothed smile just as a second crash sounded, and he deflated.

"See-ya Nic!" And before I could reply, the wizard darted towards the Charing Cross entrance of the pub and out into the busy streets of London. Looking towards the direction of the second noise, I watched two figures zip past me; and, judging by the spotless white trainers they were both wearing, I knew Polixenes was in trouble. Sighing to myself, I hurried in the direction of my otherwise occupied friend.

                                                                                                ***

I first encountered Polixenes 'Lix' Leadbetter the summer after 'Wenna had died. I'd been pretty miserable for that whole year, and the local children shunned me even more so than ever. Mum had gotten wind that a wizarding family had moved into Illogan; a small village only fifteen minutes from where we lived. When she learned the Leadbetter's had a son who had returned from Hogwarts for the summer. I'll be the first to admit that first meeting did not go well. Two awkward boys on the cusp of manhood (well, our teens anyway) being forced into what was basically a play date both looking like we'd rather wrestle a troll than say more than two words to one. When Lix finally spoke, some kind of spell must have kicked in, because he continued. Non stop. For the rest of that afternoon:

"Did you know the paintings could talk and the staircases moved I've been sorted into Hufflepuff who everybody says is a load of old duffers but they all seem really nice we even have our own ghost he's this fat friar who seems really jolly but the one they call the Bloody Baron kinda creeps me out lucky we have Dumbledore there to keep everything under control or I have no idea what we'd do though he isn't really like I expected a headmaster to be my head at my muggle school was really dull and would always try make you feel bad about everything Dumbledore seems to know everything but at the same time it feels like he's somewhere else AND guess what go on guess give up okay well Harry Pottter started with me he was sorted into Gryffindor which is hardly surprising being the boy who lived and all I wand if we'll be friends I've made loads of friends already and he seems rather preoccupied with his own house there were all sorts of crazy rumours flying about at the end of term and our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher has left..."

***

" Tell me, you filthy piece of vermin, will you be smiling quite so much when you don't have your teeth?"

I'd dashed into a blind alley behind the old Villiers street indoor market only to be confronted by two wizards flanking Lix, who spotted me and gave me a cheerful wave.

"Nic, your timing as always impeccable."

"Polixenes, your ability to get yourself into the dangerous and pointless situations is predictable as always."

The two wizards turned. Confirming my suspicions. I sighed as they puffed out their chests and looked me squarely in the eye. They were Conformsters.

The conforming movement started out as more of an interest group but had now sown its seed of ridiculousness into the young members of the wizarding community. They are fascinated by the muggle world and can usually be seen in large groups drinking pumpkin spice lattes; declaring that their collection of discount and store cards are far more impressive than anyone else, and that they had discovered some muggle band waaaay before anybody else. Their dress of choice is a combination of formal suits and sportswear, and they can be heard talking on varied topics such as real estate value and parking metres (subjects of which they know nothing about). In recent months, these conformsters (as they became known) have begun taking a more aggressive stance. Becoming deeply offended if people disagree with them or simply look at them the wrong way. I suspected Lix had probably done both.

"Move along wizard" sneered the biggest of the two. Who, alongside the obligatory white trainers, was sporting a baseball cap with the word OBEY emblazoned across it, a sweater vest and a pair of yoga pants. I grinned back at him and looked at Lix.

"Friends of yours? My my, we are keeping odd company." Lix returned the grin and winked back.

"It's a weakness of mine; I hang out with you don't I? Oooff...."

Lix was shoved roughly to the ground as the second conformster decked out in a morris dancing outfit, and a high-visibility vest charged towards me pulling out his wand.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you sunshine. Do you really want the wrath of the ministry on your back over this little scrote?" Lix made a noise that sounded like some form of objection. High viz looked at baseball cap who nodded, and he put his wand away but continued to March towards me.

I could see what he was going to do before even he did. As the wizard pulled his left fist back aiming a blow at my face, I swiftly sidestepped and the rock-like fist simpley connected with the space where my face should have been. I had anticipated the wizard overreaching and losing his balance, but that was to no avail; his left fist compensated and swung directly into my gut, knocking the wind out of me. I managed to keep my balance by holding on to the rung of a fire escape that led to the top of the building. Lashing out with my right leg, I kicked the wizard in the shin, scraping my foot down for maximum effect. The wizard howled and dropped to one knee allowing me to use my own knee to swiftly connect with his nose. Blood spurted, and he collapsed to the ground. Hey, I'm not proud, but when you lack the necessary magical abilities, you have to use whatever you can in order to survive and believe me when I say I'll fight dirty if I have to.

I looked up just as an explosion of pain coursed through the bridge of my own nose. Unbeknownst to me, The first wizard had abandoned Lix and come to his comrade's aide. I staggered slightly and fell. The whole ally was spinning, and I was seeing double of the one remaining furious wizard still standing.

"I know you.... You're that squib aren't ya?" He spat "To hell with the ministry" he muttered as he started to pull out his wand. "you're gonna get what's coming to ya... SECTUMSEMPRA"

A jet of white lightening sped towards me and on reflex, I raised my arm in protection. The lightening fizzled, and a plume of black smoke tickled my nostrils. Where the spell had hit, there was a small round, charred hole in the sleeve of my jacket.

"Are you kidding me? This is my best jacket!"

The wizard looked at hi wand and then back at me.

"bu... but that's impossible; I fired at nearly point-blank range."

I ran a hand through my hair and dusted off the hole in my jacket.

"Awww is the nasty wizard firing blanks?"

In hindsight, that may have been a little antagonistic. But screw it, the guy was a douche.

"A Smartarse huh? Well, I may have missed once, but I won't miss again; SECTU---."

Before he had a chance to finish the incantation, there was a large thud and the wizard, almost comically, slumped to the floor. Behind him stood Lix brandishing a discarded piece of timber. He threw away the wood and offered me a hand. I pulled myself up and dusted myself down. Lix playfully jabbed me in the ribs. "you sir owe me one." 

 ***

I looked at Lix' pitiful expression and screwed my face up in mock contemplation. He'd been pestering me ever since he had returned home after completing his second year at Hogwarts. He was a little more subdue about it this time, though took great pleasure in telling me that all of his end of year exams had been canceled. His other favorite topic now was girls. Who at this point meant nothing to me; I only saw them as just more delicate versions of boys.

"Don't be an arse Nic; everyone knows that the hordes of muggle girls that visit the beaches in the summer love a surfer! You gotta help me with this one. I have ladies to impress!"

And so, because I had nothing better to do, and because I had grown rather fond of Lix since he'd returned I taught him how to surf. Didn't do much to help his chances with girls; however, whenever we're both back in Cornwall, we still hit the beaches to this day.

***

"Well... you've gotten yourself in a right pickle for sure mate." Lix sucked air through his teeth like a particularly concerned broomstick maintenance man, and downed the last of his mead. "But a profitable one that's for sure – what's your next move?" He eyed me expectantly, and I knew he sensed what was coming. But I played along a little while longer.

"My plan was to try and trace the sister first and find out anything we can about her involvement. At the moment we only have the assurance of the Folly that she's even still alive. I have Gail making enquiries round the LC to see if anybody has heard anything, but I need to come up with a more definite plan – Lix are you even listening?"

Lix had become momentarily distracted by the mention of Gail. He gazed over at her and sensing his stare; she looked up; scowled at him and flipped him the bird. Lix made a harrumphing sound and looked back at me with a goofy grin on his face. "What... oh yes, plan save the damsel, get the cash – something like that?" I sighed. "I just need to find proof that she's alive."

A silence filled our table as I looked sheepishly up at my oldest friend.

"Lix..."

"No!"

I looked aghast. "But you don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You were going to say 'Lix me old chum would you possibly do me the honor of gallivanting around the streets of London doing all the things that I can't do because I have dodgy genes.' Am I close?

"NO... er... yes." I looked down at the floor. Lix leant in.

"You know I'd do anything for you bruv, a little security work here and there the odd memory charm but what your asking is full time."

"I'll split the earnings 50/50" Lix looked thoughtful. I looked forward eagerly.

"Well?"

***

"I dunno Lix, it's not like I NEED to go."

"C'mon it'll be fun"

I was seventeen years old and Lix, still short but now a little broader, was 19. He'd lived in London for two years after deciding not to carry on at school. He-who-must-not-be-named had risen, and the war was in full swing. I was in Cornwall and pretty unaffected by the whole affair. Lix had volunteered to resist the ministry and spent most of the war years scouting safe locations for the underground radio show 'Potterwatch'. It's where he developed a knack for memory charms; befuddling unsuspecting muggles so that he could set up the equipment and then returning them back to normal when Fred, George and Lee had completed their show. But now things were beginning to improve, and Lix had invited me to stay.

Of course, he knew of my 'condition'. He was also one of the few people who knew that magic had no effect on me. In fact, he'd done the same as Cora Kelley when he found out. I had to endure weeks of being hit by the stunning spell just because it amused him. One of the biggest downsides to this was access to the Wizarding world. Including, Diagon Ally. My parents were not too hot on big cities, so they'd never taken me; but I could not even enter because I couldn't open the entrance. Lix saw things differently.

"Nic, you HAVE to let me show you around. You don't know what you're missing. I'll introduce you to George, the guys a living legend!" I sighed.

"But..."

"But what? Are you scared?"

I exhaled slowly. Truth be told, Lix hit the nail on the head.

"Lix, you're an anamoly. The people over there," I pointed to the crumbling entrance wall of The LC "don't really like me... they... laugh at me. It's hard enough as it is..."

That was one of the few moments, since I've known him that I saw genuine concern and care on the face of my friend. None of it dressed up in his usual bravado; that, more than anything was what convinced me.

"You are the best friend I've ever had. We've done everything together, so why should this be any different? You think I'm going to let anyone judge you? Or treat you any differently from the rest of the Joes beyond that wall? From now on, until I'm too old to hold a wand, I promise to provide you with any magic you need day and night."

I very NEARLY welled up. He did too. I managed to mutter an inaudible "thanks" before grinning at him. "Wait... you're not gonna kiss me are you?" He slapped me around the back of the head as we entered Diagon Ally.

"Dick"

But I knew he meant every word.

And that is how Polixenes Leadbetter became my wizard by proxy.

 ***

As we stood at the entrance wall over fifteen years later, I felt that familiar feeling of comfort as Lix tapped his wand against the wall. I had other methods of getting into Diagon Ally these days, but this seemed strangely fitting. As the walls dissolved and we stepped out into the narrow busy street Lix said gruffly "so how are we gonna find out if this bird's alive or not?"

Simple, I replied. We're going to pay a visit to Dobby.

Next: An old friend.