Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are starting this off with the infamous and ugly troll. Presumably, you already know a little something about trolls, but nevertheless, here's a list of basic facts:

1. Trolls are STUPID. Excruciatingly simple. Extremely idiotic. Incredibly daft and dumb. Whichever way you put it, it means the same thing: Trolls are idiots. Now, you're probably thinking, Gee! With the way you described them, I thought they were regular Einsteins! Yeah, I know, real subtle, right? But whatever. It's what they are! They're so dumb, they have an exam fail grade here at Hogwarts named after them. Seriously, the lowest you can get is TROLL. At least it'd be a talking point at home, right?

2. Trolls are UGLY! Their physical appearance is a joke, with a face that only their mother could love. Probably because their mothers are just as ugly. They're usually twelve feet tall, with whiskers that are sometimes used for wand cores. They only have two toes on each foot, each with a giant, crusty, yellow, moldy, rotten toenail on them. Oops. Gross out alert. Heh. Anyway, moving on. Trolls are HEAVY, and weigh up to a ton. And this, kids, is why you must eat your vegetables and drink your milk and exercise. So you don't become a troll.

3. They eat HUMAN FLESH. Mm hmm. Flesh. From a human. Yum. Yes, it's gross, but not really surprising, and you were all probably expecting it. Like, 70% of magical creatures eat human flesh. Actually, that may be an exaggeration, or it may be more than 70%, but you get what I mean. So yeah, they're violent and big meanies. Some people compare them to giants.

Now, moving on to some not-so-basic facts. While trolls are, in general, stupid and ferocious, there are some special types of troll, like the SECURITY TROLLS, which are smart, and specifically trained to guard wizarding locations. Neat, huh? Not including this type(or the Troll of Nadroj, which is a kind of troll with disproportionate hands), there are four types of trolls:

1. Mountain Troll, 2. Forest Troll, 3. River Troll, and, apparently, the part troll.

Trolls communicate in grunts that they can understand, and some skilled magical multi-linguists can communicate with them, such as Barty Crouch, and the wizard Quirinius Quirrel had a knack for getting them to do what he wanted, and he set a troll in the dungeons of Hogwarts on Halloween of 1991, as an attempt to steal the Sorcerer's Stone. But back to trolls now. They understand only a few human words, and, as Artemius Lawson once said,"They were creatures who weighed a ton, but had brains the size of a bogey." Mr. Lawson was an outspoken advocate for the strict restraint of trolls. And again, though they are stupid, they are at least sapient beings, for they can wield weapons, dress themselves, and they have tried to tame other beasts, such as graphorns. 

This is the end of the chapter. Be proud of yourself! You now know a bunch of random facts about ugly, smelly, stupid humanoid creatures. But seriously, I hope you found this information interesting and helpful. And try not to anger any trolls. As you may have guessed, they won't like it.