Haruhi - *fast walks* I'll never hear the end of it if I show up late. * opens door and sees an amazon paradise in music room 3* What is this? Where am I?

Host Club - Welcome!

Haruhi (Narrating) - When I opened the door, the whole place was decked out like a tropical paradise. Can you see this from heaven mom? This was the club I was forced to join.

Hikaru and Kaoru - You finally made it Haruhi. You're so late.

Haruhi - I could be wrong, but my calendar says it's still early spring.

Tamaki - Huddling over a kotatsu table fearing the cold is nonsense. Besides, the heating system we have is, the best!

Haruhi - Ugh.

Kyoya - Do you have a problem with the way we run our club Haruhi? Be careful what you say. You owe us eight million yen, remember?

Haruhi - *gasp* {Flashback-CRASH}

Tamaki - Gentlemen don't bundle up in bulky clothing. It may be chilly early spring out there in the real world, but here at the club we want to surprise our chilly little kittens with a warm tropical paradise. Oh, yes! We've turned this place into nirvana. A balmy tropical island of ever lasting summer!

Haruhi - That's funny, because I feel a massive chill right now.

Tamaki (Narrating) - Only those with excellent social standing, and those from filthy rich families, are lucky enough to spend their time here, at the elite, private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the schools handsomest boys with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.

Tamaki - What heartlessness! Even with my lustrous skin, shining like brilliant ivory, exposed by my Balinese King outfit, I'm no more than a slave before my goddess, I kneel before you swearing my loyalty.

Girl 1 - Tamaki...

Girl 2 - Lucky.

Girl 3 - Oh, wow.

Tamaki - Oh, yes. I almost forgot to mention to you ladies, next week the Ouran Host Club is sponsoring a party.

Haruhi - We're throwing a party?

Girl - What kind of party is it going to be? Is it going to be formal?

Hikaru - Yes. In fact, we've rented the schools largest hall.

Kaoru - It's the perfect place for dancing.

• twins get really close*

Hikaru - But I really wanted to spend some alone time with you, Kaoru.

Kaoru - Don't be upset Hikaru. I know exactly how you feel.

• Fangirs screaming*

Haruhi - The guests seem even more worked up than they usually are.

Kyoya - Showing some skin is popular with the ladies.

Haruhi - So, are you the one with this tropical paradise idea?

Kyoya - I have no decision making authority. All of the club policies are laid out by the clubs king, Tamaki. But, I guess there's no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Bali photo book onto his desk.

Haruhi - {So he's the real brains behind the operation.}

Honey - Ta-da!

Girls - Aw! You're so cute Honey!

Honey - Hi, ladies! I love these Balinese flowers. We had them flown in. Takashi! *puts flowers on Takashi* There! We match!

Girl - There covered in camellias!

Haruhi - I'm still thoroughly confused by the two of them.

Kimiko - Um, Haruhi...aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the other boys?

Momoka - I'd like to see that.

Haruhi - Oh-uh-well-no-I-I just don't think it's appropriate to wear anything but early-spring attire in early-spring ,you know?

Tamaki - But we have one ready for you Haruhi. I think you'll like it. You and I are a pair.

Haruhi - No thanks.

Kimiko - Wow, Haruhi. You are really faithful to the different seasons, aren't you?

Momoka - I think that's great! I hope we're lucky enough that the cherry blossoms are in full bloom the night of the party.

Girl - The two of us, dancing among the cherry blossoms. It's so dreamy...

Haruhi - You really think so? You know, ladies, I think it's so cute when you dream like that.

Kanako - Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but I believe it's time for the Hosts to switch clients.

Haruhi - Oh, I'm sorry. You must be my next appointment, Miss...

Kanako - My name is Kanako. Kanako Kasugasaki. You're even cuter than I expected. I've decided. From now on you're going to be my new favorite host, Haruhi.

Tamaki - *slurps commoners ramen* {I can't take this anymore.}

Hikaru - Hey, boss! Why don't you stop eating that commoners ramen and come over to help us with the party planning.

Kaoru - Does it really bother you that Princess Kasuga has taken a liking to Haruhi?

Kyoya - He shouldn't be surprised. She has had the illness for a while now, hasn't she?

Haruhi - What illness?

Hikaru - She's got the Host-Hopping disease.

Kaoru - AKA, the never-seeing-the-same-boy-twice disease.

Kyoya - Usually, our customers choose a favorite host and then see them regularly. However, Princess Kanako tends to change her favorites on a regular basis.

Honey - That's right, because before she chose you she was with Tama-Chan.

Haruhi - Oh. So he's upset because I took her from him?

Tamaki - SHUT UP!! I COULDN'T CARE LESS!! Ugh! I'm running out of patience! Haruhi! It's time you started dressing like a girl!

Haruhi - Huh?

Tamaki - I don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies, when you yourself are a lady! No one in the entire school knows the truth, excepts the ones of us here!

Hikaru - Yeah. She opted out of taking gym classes.

Kaoru - And the attendance numbers are all mixed together so no one can tell.

Tamaki - *grabs out a chest that says 'Kings private property', searches through it* That's enough Haruhi. Now you listen to Daddy, *pulls out a huge picture of Haruhi with long hair* Daddy wants you to go back to the way you were then!

Haruhi - Don't go blowing up my photos without asking me first!

Hikaru - The more I look at this picture, the more amazed I am. How could thispossibly become that?

Haruhi - The day before school started, one of the kids in my neighborhood got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair. So, I decided to get it all cut off. I didn't care if looked like a dude, ya know?

Tamaki - Gh! Girls should never refer to herself as a dude! Mama! Haruhi's using those dirty boy words again! *sobs*

Kaoru - I'm sorry, but who's Mama?

Kyoya - Based on club position, I assume it's me.

Haruhi - Look, I don't see what you're crying about. Working as a host, I can pay off more of my debt. That would never happen if I am just an errand boy.

Hikaru - I hate to change the subject, but do you have formal dancing experience? You'll need it at the party.

Haruhi - Uh....no. But the party doesn't have anything to do with my quota, right? I'm not interested in going to events. So, if I could be excused..

Tamaki - Definitely not. A refined gentlemen must know how to dance. If you want to live the life of a host that badly, you're going to have to show us how far you are willing to go Haruhi. I order you to master the waltz in one week, and you will demonstrate it for us at the party. Or I'll tell the entire school that you're a girl, and knock you back down to errand boy.

Kanako - Quick, quick, slow. Quick, quick, slow. Good work, Haruhi. Now on the slow, you should keep your feet together.

Haruhi - Uh..

Kanako - Remember, the gentlemen always leads. And make sure to look at the lady you're dancing with.

Tamaki - *sulks in the corner*

Haruhi - Got it. Uh- waahh. *falls on top of Kanako* I'm so sorry Ms. Kazugasaki!

Kanako - *puts arms around Haruhi* It's ok, Haruhi.

Haruhi - Uh..Can I help you up.

Hikaru and Kaoru - (to Tamaki) Why so gloomy, boss?

Hikaru - I bet it's because he wanted to be the one who Haruhi practices with.

Kaoru - I think you may be right, but he's way to tall to stand in as a woman.

Haruhi - Thank you so much, for allowing me to practice with you. I really appreciate it.

Kanako - Oh, no problem. I heard that you're not seeing any customers today, so that you can practice dancing. I'm glad I got to spend this time alone with you.

Haruhi - Uh...

Kanako - *looks at tea cup* Oh, my. This is the new tea set isn't it? It's Ginori.

Haruhi - Jinori?

Kyoya - You have a keen eye, mademoiselle. In fact, we just received them yesterday. We decided it was about time for the club to upgrade its tea sets.

Kanako - I see. What a pretty color. Lovely.

Tamaki - *gasp*

Haruhi - You must really be into table ware, huh?

Kanako - Uh! No! Not really! I mean no! Of course I'm not! What ever would give you that idea?

Haruhi - {She obviously knows a lot about it. Why would she lie?}

• door opens*

Toru - Hello? I'm here with the new teacups you ordered.

Kanako - *gasp*

Kyoya - Ah, thank you very much. Every item you have chosen for us, has been extremely popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed.

Toru - Well, that's good to hear.

Haruhi - So, do you sell tea sets?

Toru - No. I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?

Kanako - Haha. Oh, Haruhi, you're so funny. Hahahahaha. I can't blame you for not knowing. After all, he doesn't really look like an heir to a high-class company.

Toru - *gasp*

Haruhi - First-class company?

Kyoya - His family buisness, Suzushima Trading Company, deals primarily in the importing of tableware. They currently have the top market share in the country.

Haruhi - Wow.

Kyoya - So, whenever something exceptional comes in, we've asked them to send it our way.

Haruhi - *sees connection between Toru and Kanako*

Kyoya - He has a great eye for fine China. Don't you, Suzushima?

Toru - You think? I've still got a lot to learn. But, thank you.

Kyoya - Aren't you leaving next month to study abroad in England?

Toru - Yes, I am. Well, I'd better go now. *leaves*

Tamaki - So, you enjoying the Host Club?

Kanako - *gasp*

Haruhi - I get the feeling you and that guy are kinda close.

Kanako - Uhnuh! Don't be ridiculous! We hardly know each other! What makes you say that, Haruhi!? Heheh. Now, if you'll excuse me..Take care. *leaves*

Haruhi - Uh...

Honey - Haru-Chan! Guess what? They do know each other! Suzushima is Kasuga-Chan's fiancé!

Tamaki - Kyoya. How long have you known about this?

Kyoya - About the two of them being engaged? Well, as you know I conduct general searches on all of our customers. The two of them were childhood friends. It seems that their engagement was arranged by their parents. I didn't think the information would benefit us, so I disregarded it.

Tamaki - I see...

Kyoya - Toru Suzushima: Outstanding grades, fair social status, he's ordinary looking, but he's reliable. If I had to fault him for anything...

Hikaru - He doesn't have much presence.

Kaoru - And he's faint hearted.

Kyoya - So, in other words, he's boring.

Haruhi - {I had no idea they were so merciless to other guys.}

Honey - Suzushima is a good boy. Right?

Mori - Yeah.

Tamaki - Alright everyone. We'll have to work on our strategy.

Everyone - Which one?

Tamaki - Men, it is our responsibility, as the members of the elite Ouran Host Club, to make every girl happy!

Tamaki - It is so good to see you all here tonight, my little lambs. The Ouran Host Club would like to bid you, welcome. *bows*

• lights turn on and the orchestra starts playing*

Girls - *clapping*

Kyoya - As always ladies, the host club members are here for your entertainment. So, we invite you to dance to your content. Based on her dancing skills, one young lady will be chosen as tonights queen. The queen's reward, will be a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king.

Tamaki - Good luck to you, my darlings.

• fangirl screams*

Hikaru and Kaoru - Haruhi! Show some enthusiasm.

Haruhi - Well, excuse me you guys. Sorry. I'm not used to this sort of thing. I've only ever gone to the festivals held in my neighborhood park.

Kyoya - I don't know if you can really consider that a party or not. Well, since you're already here, you might as well get yourself something to eat. We've got quite a spread.

Haruhi - A spread? *blush* With fancy tuna?

• Kyoya breaks his mechanical pencil*

Host Club - Fancy Tuna!?

Tamaki - *jumps off the balcony* Get some fancy tuna here right now!

Kyoya - And some deluxe sushi.

• Hikaru and Kaoru are hugging Haruhi*

Haruhi - {Damn these filthy rich jerks...}

Kanako - Hello Haruhi. I've been looking all over for you. Do you think maybe I could have the next dance?

Haruhi - Yeah. Of course you can.

Honey - Kasuga-Chan is here.

Tamaki - Alright men. Then let us commence with our operation.

Mori and Honey - Roger!

• Mori and Honey grab Haruhi away from Kanako and run off*

Kanako - What? Kidnapped?

Tamaki - Heh. *smiles*

• doors burst open*

Kaoru - There she is!

Haruhi - You didn't have to be so forceful!

Hikaru - *gives Haruhi clothes* Never mind that! Go get changed!

Honey - *laughs and pushes Haruhi into the changing room*

Kyoya - A little accident towards the end of the night would be quite thrilling. And remember Haruhi, there are only twenty minutes remaining before the party reaches its climax. Suzushima is already waiting for you in the classroom across the hall.

• Haruhi steps out of the changing room wearing a dress and a wig*

Honey - You have to ask him how he feels, ok?

Hikaru and Kaoru - Uh, we know this is the boss's strategy, but it's kind of unsettling.

Tamaki - *bursts through the doors* Gentlemen! Here you all are! What are you doing!? The guests are waiting for- *Tamaki sees Haruhi and blushes before her beauty*

Hikaru and Kaoru - So, what do think?

Honey - Wow! You look so cute!

Haruhi - My face feels heavy, and it's hard to walk in these shoes.

Hikaru and Kaoru - Good luck, Haruhi!

Tamaki - I can't believe...She's so pretty.

• door opens*

Toru - *gasp* You're the one who wrote this letter? You're totally different from what I imagined.

Haruhi - Letter? (Narrating letter) I'm in love-love! From the first time I saw you, I've been head over heels in love! Hee-hee! It's like my heart is stuck in a never-ending typhoon! All these feelings of love keep whipping around in my heart like the breaking waves! When typhoons rising waters come, I want to rendezvous with you on Noah's Ark! I do! I do! {Who wrote such a stupid letter?}

Toru - Excuse me. Have we met somewhere before?

Haruhi - Ah! No uh-This is the first time I've ever talked to you! Heheheheheh...

Toru - I'm sorry. I'm flattered by your letter, but I'm afraid I don't feel the same way. You see, another girl already has my heart.

Haruhi - Oh, well, I didn't know that you had a girlfriend.

Toru - Unfortunately, she's not my girlfriend. In fact, I think she's completely over me. In all honesty, she'd be happier with someone more self-confident than me.

Kanako - Where exactly are you taking me, Tamaki?

Tamaki - You know, you're not the kind of girl who's good at manipulating others.

Kanako - What do you mean by that?

Tamaki - I have you all figured out Kanako. I know you're switching from host to host to get his attention. And I've noticed that you've always looked the happiest gazing into a teacup.

Kanako - *gasp*

(Kanako's flashback)

Young Toru - Hey, check these out, Kanako.

Young Kanako - So pretty.

Young Toru - There's a Wedgwood...a Foley...a Worcester...Over here's a Ginori, and a Meissen. Someday, you're gonna be my wife Kanako. So, I'll tell you about all of them, okay?

Young Kanako - Mmm-hmm!

Kanako - It's pointless. It doesn't matter how hard I try. He never notices me. And now, he's decided to study abroad without even telling me.

Toru - That's why I decided I need to change. I want to see the world, and hopefully, become a better man. I know it's selfish, but I wonder if she'll wait for me.

Haruhi - Yeah. You're right. The is pretty selfish of you.

Toru - Ugh!

Haruhi - But, maybe she would wait. You'll never know if you don't tell her how you feel. You obviously have strong feelings for her, so why not go ahead and talk to her? I think once you decide to change, than you've already begun your transformation.

• Kanako opens the door to see Toru with a mystery girl*

Toru - Kanako..

Kanako - *gasp* I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you two I just... *starts to cry* *runs off*

Toru - Kanako! *runs after her* Kanako!

Haruhi - Looks like we just made matter worse.

Tamaki - But he did go running after her.

Haruhi - *smile* {It's our responsibility, as the members of the elite Ouran Host Club, to make very girl happy.}

• Toru grabs Kanako's arm after chasing her in the courtyard, then there's a spark. Suddenly, spotlight appear on Toru and Kanako*

Tamaki - Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for us to begin the final dance of this evenings festivities. The last waltz of the night, has been chosen by the Ouran Host Club for, this couple.

• Kanako and Toru face each other*

Toru - Princess Kasuga, may I have this dance?

Kanako - *blush* *gasp*....................*smiles* Yes.

• Toru and Kanako dance the last waltz of the evening. Meanwhile, the twins are eating bananas for no current reason*

Toru - I love you, Kanako. I've always loved you, and I want you to be my wife.

Kanako - *smiles out of true happiness* Tonight, marks the end of my host-hopping.

Tamaki - Ah! May this awkward couple be forever blessed!

Hikaru - *holding banana peel* And now we'll announce the queen of the ball!

Kaoru - *holding banana peel* Congratulations Princess Kanako Kasugazaki!

Everyone - *clapping*

Hikaru - *no longer holing peel* And now, for her reward, a kiss on the check from the king!

Tamaki - You ready?

Kaoru - *no longer holding peel* Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki!

Haruhi and Tamaki - Huh!?

Hikaru and Kaoru - Kyoya did say that a little accident towards the end of the night would make the evening more thrilling for everyone!

Toru - It's just on the check, right? You should except it. It will commemorate your graduation from host-hopping.

Haruhi - There's no way I can kiss her.

Kyoya - If you do it, we will cut your debt by one-third.

Haruhi - Well, it is just a peck on the cheek...

• Haruhi walks down the steps to Kanako*

Honey - Hey, you don't think this is Haru-Chan's first kiss, do you?

Tamaki - What!?

• Haruhi turn Kanako's face and is about to kiss her cheek when Tamaki comes running down the stairs*

Tamaki - Wait, Haruhi!

• Tamaki slips on a banana peel pushing Haruhi, and causing Haruhi and Kanako to kiss on the lips*

Tamaki and Toru- Uh...

• Haruhi and Kanako leap away from each other with their hands on their mouths*

• Fangirl screams*

Haruhi - {I never would have thought that I'd end up giving my first kiss to another girl. But it was such an amazing night...so I guess it's just as well.} Hm.