Looking over the horizon and watching the sunrise can really make you believe that things will change. Every morning I get up and go outside to watching the sun come up. I wish that something will change, just little things really, nothing too big. Most days I just wish that my mother will come back to us. My father, while he is a great man, needs help raising all these kids. I try to help, being the oldest and only girl. My brothers are not easy to handle.

No one knows I go to watch the sunrise and pray. I pray for the strength to get through the day and have the happiness I need. Sometimes I think it is selfish of me to think this, but I do want to have a life of my own.  I grew up with my mother being there, but she left 5 years ago just after my brothers were born. I was 13 when she left and still have not come to accept the departure. She named me Kimiko. That is the only thing I have left from her.

My brothers do not know our mother. I feel sorry for them. Tokutaro, Nagataka, and Taro will never be able to know the love my mother had given me. My father has tried his best over the past 5 years. He never explained to me why my mother left after having triplets. I could only think that she did not know how to handle all the boys. My mother is not a selfish person. I had never known her to run away from anything in my life.

I have asked my father several times to explain to me why my mother left. He has told me that I am not old enough to understand. He tells me that one day, maybe when I am older, I will be able to understand. I think he just does not know the words he wants to use. I asked him if he would tell me on my 18th birthday and he agreed. Today is that day. Maybe I will not have to watch the sunrise and pray for her return anymore.

I went back inside to find my father at the table waiting for me with my favorite breakfast all made. My brothers were all there as well smiling as they saw me. I sat down after giving each on a hug and kiss on the head. My father smiled at me “Watching the sunrise again?” He knew my routine by now. After breakfast, the boys went to work with their tutors. I am glad my father is an emperor and can afford more than one tutor. I would never be able to pay attention with those boys in my room.

My father looked at me, “I made you a promise and I will keep it. Your mother left us for a reason. It is not your fault or my fault but she wanted to go to the new world.” I looked at my father trying to figure out the emotion that was on his face. “She went to the new world, some place called California. She said she wanted to find herself. You see, your mother was very young when we got married and before she could figure out what she wanted with her life, she had you.”

“So it is my fault she left?” I asked my father. “No no. She wanted something better for herself. She said she would come back to us when the time was right. I guess the time is not right yet.” I think to myself that I must find a way to go get her. My brothers need a mother and I am not that to them. “Father, we must go get her. We need her help. The boys need someone other than me helping them with school work and they need a mother.”

My father did not say anything. He knew that once I got an idea in my head, that there was no way of changing it. My father and I spent the next several days writing letters to addresses my mother had sent to my father. We were both determined to find her. My father said he had tried to convince her to come back, but was never able to. He thought that maybe if her daughter, the one person who could always bring a smile to her face, wrote her letters and explained how much we needed her that she would come back.

We wrote letters all day that day and mailed them. I hoped that we would get an answer from my mother. Weeks went by with no answer. Finally, about 2 months later, the letters started coming back. Some said that she had moved and the ones we wrote were returned to us. Only one did not come back. That had to be the address my mother was at. We did not get any answer from that one. I spent the next several days writing a letter a day. Finally after a month, I gave up.

I decided to write one more letter. It was not long, all I said is I was tired of writing to this woman. She had no right to treat me this way. That last sentences I wrote were this, “In three months time I will be sitting and watching the sunrise. I will be watching for you to come and return to us. If this does not happen, then I know you will never return to your father. I know now that I have the strength to be the mother you never could. So if you do not come, that is fine.” I had hoped that this would make my mother want to come back and see her sons grow up.

She missed out on the best 5 years of my life and she should not miss out on them. I did not feel the need to write all of this down for my mother, I felt she would know this. So I waited the three months, following my routine as usual. The morning came where I was to wait for my mother. I went out before the sun started to rise. Once it did, I sat and waited. I did not know what I would do or say if I saw the woman coming towards me.

I sat there for an hour almost as I watched the sunrise. I did not wise for my mother to come. I did not pray for her to come. I knew now that if she wanted to come back she would. “I will be okay. I do not need her to come back for me. My brothers will be okay, I will take care of them.” I said this outloud. I do not know why, I just felt the need to say it. After I did, I looked up and saw the silhouette of a woman walking towards me. She was coming from the sea. She came up to me and smiled. “You gave me a short amount of time daughter, but I am here and I am sorry for missing out on these past 5 years.”

I smiled and hugged her. I knew that she would come. As we walked away, I turned and looked at the sunrise, smiling. I knew that the horizon had given me what I had been asking for all along. It just took 5 years to get it.