September 9th, 1998.

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AnnnnnnYwayyyyyyy, I don't exactly get 'O's like Arella, and, though I didn't expect it, I'm disappointed.

So, who needs to be clever? I mean, so 9 out of 10 of my experiments fail, but that hardly matters, I mean, does it matter to you? Well, yes, maybe it does. But it doesn't for me, I'm not "Clever Material" anyway.

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Who wants to be some  material, anyway? Being human is a lot better than being fabric or something, innit? Yes of course.

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I'm out on the grounds at the moment, for stress relieve, y'know? I mean, I forgot to take notes, and I think I'll fail midterms, and...I need notes, I just do. I'll nag Arella for some, yes? Yes.

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So,  I wrote a letter to Dora, for personal gain, of course, not to keep in touch. It's not that I want to keep in touch with her.
And she sent back my letter and at the Bottom, just wrote the words, "No".

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I mean, how uncivil is that? I was perfectly civil, see?

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Dear Dorinda Elisabeth Vendour,

So good to hear from you and Mother, your dear sister has missed you. (Not).

To answer your question, I wanted to know about Tergeo before hand because I spill a lot of lab experiements that you should approve of instead of think badly of them. Of course, I was wondering, is there like a "Mixing Spell" that mixes ingredients (and perhaps liquids) together to be one? If you know such a spell, tell me instantly. Or I shall be very mad at you forever, and not write letters to Mother and make her worry, and curse Leo to have his beastly disease Forevah!!

So, here I sign my name most professionally, look below:         NO

Yours Sincerely, with kind regards.              Yours "Sincerely", with "kind regards",               

        Mondiecee~                                                                  Your sister, Dorinda~

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I mean, OMG, I am SO CIVIL, compared to her and everyone else. How rude does this woman get? I was thinking of writing another letter to her. Besides, I didn't really want Leo to die, that's just how economy works! You gotta be thrifty!

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-MONDIE€EE

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The Next Day: (Sept 10th,'98)

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So I'm not sure how my letter will go, so I might plan it out first. Of course, I must pretend I wasn't offended by her so-called "response". Something very important in this world–the real world–is to never show that you are offended.

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Yes, I'm good at this, aren't I? Of course I am.

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I was working hard, though, trying to catch up...wondering if that'll work.

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The letter should go something like this:

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Deeeeaaa~no, scratch that, I shouldn't act like Professor Dolores Umbridge, whom I read about in the Chronicles of "The Boy Who Lived". Start over.

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To Dorinda, my sister,

How are you? I hope you are (not) well? I am fine, and as right as rain. As you must miss Hogwarts, like you hinted in your very first letter. The weather here is wonderful, and great for going outdoors. I enjoy going out on the grounds, as it is a fine place to practice charms and duelling, and discuss Potions and Astronomy and such.

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Talking about Potions, I hope you remember my previous letter, Dora? Yes? No?

I think you should reply to that previous letter of mine, as I was rather civil and kind, and your reply...

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Not exactly satisfactory. So please reply to me, or the next time Kenneth falls into my care, he will die.

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Thank you,

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Mondiecee~

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P.S. Your reply was uncivil.

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Yes, that's genius, I'll copy it out and send it to Dora. Of course, I don't really want Kenneth to die, he's going to follow in my footsteps and be my minion. Therefore, he needs to be alive.

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I'll go nag Arella now, bye. And write the letter.

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Later: my reply;

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Mondiecee,

Please don't be stupid. I don't mean anything against you, but I think you should drop your experiments for now. Therefore, I don't think it would be sensible to give you any advice at the moment, for your mother would be displeased. I also wish you to drop threatening to "kill" anyone in our family, I know very well you aren't going to and you're trying to be, as you call it, "Thrifty". Which, by the way, is the incorrect word.

 I'm very busy with my job right now, so I would be grateful if you stop sending me letters, though I know you just want to experiment, and that's natural. So, that's all I can say for now,

Bye,

Dora

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Merlin's baggiest Y-fronts.

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