75. Crucio - Causes immense pain
That's messed up, dude.
74. Sectumsempra - Causes severe lacerations
No thanks.
73. Morsmordre - Conjures the Dark Mark
This isn't even funny as a joke.
72. Tarantallegra - Forces target to dance
Some people just don't like to dance. Nothing is worse than forced dancing.
71. Fiendfyre Curse - Makes cursed fire
This is never a good idea. Just ask Crabbe.
70. Petrificus Totalus - Renders target completely immobile
Most applications I can think of are criminal.
69. Furnunculus - Covers target in boils
Not cool, and much less funny than densaugeo.
68. Rictusempra - Tickling Charm
No one likes getting tickled. No one.
67. Deletrius - Dismisses the effects of Prior Incantato
If I'm not using Prior Incantato much, I definitely don't need this.
66. Incarcarous - Ties someone up with ropes
It's not my bag, but to each his/her own.
65. Densaugeo - Makes teeth grow quickly
Funny, for sure, but definitely dickish.
64. Confringo - Explodes objects into flames
Don't teach this to teenagers.
63. Mobilicorpus - Moves bodies
Even if you're not a murderer, this is kind of weird.
62. Liberacorpus - Lowers target of levicorpus
You technically don't have to lower everyone you raise.
61. Levicorpus - Levitates target by ankle
Easily abused, but amusing.
60. Deprimo - Creates great downward pressure
Good for making pasta, I guess.
59. Sonorus - Amplifies one's voice
Sounds useful, mostly annoying.
58. Duro - Hardens objects
I need the opposite of this.
57. Legilimens - Reveals memories and thoughts of target
Some things are secrets for a reason. I'll leave it at that.
56. Expulso - Explodes objects
Sometimes, you just have to blow sh-- up.
55. Avis/Oppugno - Shoots flock of birds from wand
Impressive, but random.
54. Fidelius Charm - binds a secret to the soul of a Secret-Keeper
It didn't work out so well for Lilly and James...
53. Imperio - Makes target obey every command
But only for really, really funny pranks.
52. Piertotum Locomotor - Animates statues
On one hand, this is awesome. On the other, someone would use this to scare me.
51. Aparecium - Make invisible ink appear
Your notes will be so much cooler.
50. Defodio - Carves through stone and steel
Sometimes you need to get the eff out of there.
49. Descendo - Moves objects downward
You'll never have to get a chair to reach for stuff again.
48. Specialis Revelio - Reveals hidden magical properties in an object
I want to know what I'm eating and if it's magical.
47. Meteolojinx Recanto - Ends effects of weather spells
Otherwise, someone could make it sleet in your bedroom forever.
46. Cave Inimicum/Protego Totalum - Strengthens an area's defenses
Helpful, but why are people trying to break into your campsite?
45. Impedimenta - Freezes someone advancing toward you
"Stop running at me! But also, why are you running at me?"
44. Obscuro - Blindfolds target
Finally, we don't have to rely on "No peeking."
43. Reducto - Explodes object
The "raddest" of all spells.
42. Anapneo - Clears someone's airway
This could save a life, but hopefully you won't need it.
41. Locomotor Mortis - Leg-lock curse
Good for footraces and Southwest Airlines flights.
40. Geminio - Creates temporary, worthless duplicate of any object
You could finally live your dream of lying on a bed of marshmallows, and you'd only need one to start.
39. Aguamenti - Shoot water from wand
No need to replace that fire extinguisher you never bought.
38. Avada Kedavra - The Killing Curse
One word: bugs.
37. Repelo Muggletum - Repels Muggles
Sounds elitist, but seriously, Muggles ruin everything. Take it from me, a Muggle.
36. Stupefy - Stuns target
Since this is every other word of the "Deathly Hallows" script, I think it's pretty useful.
35. Diffindo - Cuts or rips material
[Infomerial voice] "No more fumbling with hard-to-use scissors."
34. Erecto - Erects tents or other structures
Not what you think, but still useful. (See also: engorgio)
33. Finite Incantatem - Negates the effects of many spells.
The wizard equivalent of "STAHP!"
32. Prior Incantato - Reveals last spell cast
This would help clear up a lot of arguments.
31. Homenum Revelio - Reveal people nearby
No matter wondering if that creak you heard was a murderous intruder or, you know, just a creak.
30. Incendio - Creates fire
But be careful.
29. Quietus - Quiets magically amplified voice
I might use this "mistakenly" on normal people talking loudly just to send a message.
28. Nox - Turns off lumos
Since Harry, Ron and Hermione use lumos for everything, this is handy.
27. Colloportus - Locks doors
"I forgot my keys again. Oh, wait, no. I didn't. I'm a wizard. Keys are irrelevant."
26. Alohomora - Opens locks
"I forgot my keys again. Oh, wait, no. I didn't. I'm a wizard. Keys are irrelevant."
25. Evanesco - Vanishing spell
"What are you looking at?" "Uh — evanesco — nothing."
24. Ferula - Conjures bandages
This would really cut down on the number of smelly casts.
23. Expecto Patronum - Patronus Charm
Not only does this spell conjure joy, happiness and hope, but you can also use that conjuring to send messages. It's like the opposite of SnapChat.
22. Confundo - Causes confusions and makes others easily susceptible to influence
A more innocent imperio.
21. Relashio - Forces target to let go of whatever they're holding
No more awkward long hugs.
20. Tergeo - Cleans off surfaces
So. Many. Uses.
19. Episkey - Heals minor injuries
First aid is always important.
18. Oblivate - Erases memories
Goodbye, painful teenage memories!
17. Expelliarmus - Disarming Charm
If I have a wand, that means people who definitely shouldn't have wands have them. That's too dangerous.
16. Silencio/Langlock - Stops someone from talking (by sticking one's tongue to the roof of his/her mouth)
STFU!
15. Muffliato - Keeps others nearby from overhearing conversations
Great for throwing shade.
14. Protego - Shields caster from curses
Don't curse me.
13. Riddikulus - Transforms Boggarts into a humorous shape
Anyone know remembers that "Order of the Phoenix" scene understands how important this spell is.
12. Pack - Packs trunks and luggage
Maybe magic will actually remember my phone charger for me.
11. Reducio - Shrinks objects
Combine this with pack, and it's "Farewell, airline baggage fees."
10. Reparo - Repairs broken objects
I will no longer have to resent my cat.
9. Lumos - Makes wand emit light
No more mad dashes up stairs after turning off the basement lights.
8. Orchideous - Grows flowers from end of wand
Fellas, I cannot emphasize the importance of this spell enough.
7. Portus - Creates a portkey
Say "goodbye" to commuting forever. You could literally live and work anywhere.
6. Scourgify - Cleans things
I think this is the spell I and my bath tub have been waiting for.
5. Wingardium Leviosa/Locomotor - Levitates objects
Screw lifting stuff!
4. Impervius - Protects caster from a variety of substances, including water and fire
We would all be finally be able to admit how stupid umbrellas are.
3. Engorgio - Engorgement Charm
2. Glisseo - Turns a staircase into a slide
This is why we have magic.
1. Accio - Summoning charm
I'm trying to think of a time when this wouldn't be useful, and I'm literally not coming up with a single one.
