Potter-THE SNITCH HAS BEEN SIGHTED! With the score standing at 50-20 (following goals one minute apart from Alonso and Vassileva) a flash of gold near the Brazilian hoops leads Silva and Krum into a breakneck chase – Beaters and Chasers scatter – Krum is ahead but narrowly misses a capture – as the Snitch soars upwards, both Seekers appear to be dazzled by the brilliant Argentinian sun – the Snitch has disappeared again.

Skeeter- George Weasley, wealthy co-owner of joke shop Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, has only one ear. This disability did not prevent him from marrying his dead brother's ex-girlfriend Angelina Johnson, or from fathering two children with her: Fred and Roxanne. They are putting on a show of family togetherness up in the box. However, few will forget the recent rumours that – in spite of the plentiful gold brought in by such inventions as Puking Pastilles – Angelina has grown restless in her marriage and recently left the marital home to – my colleague, Ginny Potter, has just informed me that Angelina left the marital home to care for her sick father. Many will think that a likely story. Meanwhile, Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley have taken advantage of their elders' inattention to find their way back into adjacent seats.

Potter-Moments after Diaz lengthens Brazil's lead – 60-20 – Beater Santos hits Viktor Krum hard over the head with his bat. The referee is examining Omniocular footage to determine whether a foul has been committed. The game has been paused.

Skeeter-A great groan has issued from the crowd, undoubtedly in response to Ronald Weasley flagrantly and openly kissing his wife on the cheek. This piece of disgusting exhibitionism appears to have disgusted spectators – my colleague, Ginny Potter, has just informed me that the crowd groaned because one of the players has sustained an injury.

Potter- No foul! German referee Herman Junker concludes that Rafael Santos did not mean to hit Viktor Krum around the back of the skull with his Beater's bat. Krum signals that he is fit to continue and play resumes!

Skeeter-Cold-hearted Hermione Granger did not notice her ex-boyfriend's injury immediately, due to the ill-judged public display of affection instigated by her husband, but she swiftly put on a display of concern. The same cannot be said for Neville Longbottom, who appears to be spiritedly describing the precise manner in which Krum sustained his nosebleed for the benefit of his godson, Albus Potter. An oddly callous display from the popular Herbology teacher.

Potter-Mere minutes after play resumes, Krum and Silva are rocketing suddenly upwards - five thousand Omnioculars follow the pair into the dazzling Argentinian sun -

Skeeter-Dumbledore's Army seem agitated and tense. Has one of them grievously offended the others? Have bitter wounds been reopened here, in front of thousands of people, where everybody hoped merely to enjoy a unique sporting occasion? Ought Dumbledore's Army draw such flagrant attention to themselves when - apparently - something exciting is happening on the pitch? Or are they using this as a cover to air old grievances?

Potter-Krum and Silva are in a breakneck dash for the Snitch, which Silva sighted first – he is four feet ahead of Krum as both rise almost vertically –

Skeeter-Everyone is on their feet, including the denizens of the VIP boxes – Harry Potter is shouting – if my lip-reading is accurate, Ronald Weasley is swearing –

Potter-Krum is gaining on Silva but will it be enough…?

Skeeter-Teddy Lupin has accidentally punched his girlfriend on the nose as he gesticulates – are we about to witness a breakup, live at the Quidditch World Cup?

Potter-Krum and Silva neck and neck –

Skeeter-Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley snuggled up together again – don't they care about Quidditch at all? Should they be taking up valuable space in this stadium, when all eyes ought to be glued on the pitch? When so many poor witches or wizards would simply love to be here?

Potter-KRUM'S GOT THE SNITCH! BULGARIA HAVE WON!

Skeeter-I can't see the VIP boxes – everyone is jumping up and down!

Potter-The crowds are going crazy – after two and three-quarter hours in the blazing Argentinian sun, Bulgaria has won the Quidditch World Cup and Krum has achieved his life's ambition on the third attempt – it looks like he might fall off his broom – tears are streaming down his face – a hugely popular win here in the Patagonian Desert – but hearty commiserations to Brazil - they led almost all the way, and in the end, it was Krum the Seeker who defeated them. A stunning display of sportsmanship here, as Silva and Krum embrace –

Skeeter-Ah, that's better – people are calming down, I can now see the VIP boxes – well, Dumbledore's Army seems to approve of the victory, Harry Potter in particular seems emotional – with a determined grin on his face, Ronald Weasley conceals his inevitable annoyance that his wife's ex-love is being feted by the Quidditch world – young Albus is applauding, doubtless at the prompting of his publicity hungry father – my colleague, Ginny Potter, is approaching me, no doubt with another tedious correc-[mic cut-off]

Potter-Rita Skeeter has been taken unaccountably ill with what some are calling a jinx to the solar plexus. As celebrations continue here in the Patagonian Desert, we at the Daily Prophet sincerely hope that you have enjoyed our World Cup coverage from Argentina. Next week, the National Gobstones League comes to Birmingham! But in all honesty… don’t bother.

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS I HAD A BLAST MAKING IT!