TW AND CW: VERY HEAVY swearing, mentions of violence, blood

Remus rang the doorbell.

"HE'S HERE!" shrieked a familiar voice from the house. 

"SIRIUS, SHUT YOUR GODDAMN ARSE UP!" another familiar voice yelled.

"NO SWEARING OR YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK, JAMES!" yelled a woman's voice, one that Remus was not very familiar to.

The door swung open. It was Ana. "Remus!" She went forward to pull him into a sudden and unexpected hug.

Remus nearly dropped his suitcase. "Kinda- can't- breathe- Ana-" he choked out.

Ana released him immediately and her face turned the color of a beetroot. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, for the most part," said Remus with a grin, also turning slightly pink. "I just ended up sleeping for most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Ana asked in a motherly voice, folding her arms.

"Geez, am I being interrogated?" said Remus with a nervous chuckle.

Ana didn't respond, still glaring at Remus for answers.

"I just got a little bored and scratched, that's all," said Remus, biting the inside of his cheeks.

"A little?" asked Ana, tutting. "Come on in. I'll make sure you're all cleaned up."

"It's alright, An," sighed Remus, pulling his suitcase inside. "I already made sure all my cuts are cleaned up."

Ana looked like she was going to interrogate him further, but Remus was sved by Sirius, James, and Peter, diving towards him and pulling their best friend into a hug.

"HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI-" squealed Sirius.

"Hello, Sirius," mumbled Remus. "It's good to see you too."

"We missed you, Remu," said James whinily.

"Please don't call me Remu again," said Remus bleakly. "The last time you did it was the worst moment of my life."

"It wasn't THAT bad," said Peter, as the Marauders finally released Remus from their tight hug.

"To quote all of you, 'HI REMU, HOW ARE YOUR O.W.L.s GOING?!?!' in the middle of my O.W.L.s."

"I remember that. Professor Tofty giggled throughout the entire exam," said Peter.

"Were you spying on my examination?" asked Remus, gaping at them.

The Marauders, including Ana, all glanced at each other and then said in unison, "Yes."

"Godric," muttered Remus, shaking his head. "Is there at least one friend I have that has SOME sanity?"

"Frank is here," shrugged James. "But he's been pissed off at us lately. I wonder why."

"The poor boy sent me a letter asking me to take him out of what he called a 'hellhole'," said Ana, grinning.

"He's got good reason to," agreed Remus. "Where are the others, by the way? I thought you said you invited EVERYONE."

"Upstairs," said James, bouncing on his heels. "Come on, grab your bag."

James, Sirius, and Peter went bounding up the staircase like 6-year olds. 

"DON'T RUN UP THE STAIRCASE UNLESS YOU WANT TO HURT YOUR ARSE!" bellowed James' father from the living room.

"FLEAMONT!" Euphemia Potter scolded. "At this point, I think you're the one teaching them swears."

"SORRY, MUM!" yelled James and Sirius in unison from upstairs.

Euphemia came walking out of the kitchen. She was a kind looking woman, with brown hair and the signature hazel eyes that James had. "I apologize, Remus, I have some very crazy boys in this house- all of which include my children and my husband." She laughed. "Ana, dear, could you possibly help Remus take his suitcases upstairs?"

"Of course, Mrs Potter," said Ana with a grin. "And might I just say- I agree. James and Sirius are horrible influences."

"THANK YOU!" said Euphemia, strutting back into the kitchen. "Someone finally has some sense knocked into their minds. What do they teach up at that school...?"

Ana held in a snort and grabbed Remus' backpack.

"Oh, no, An, it's fine," Remus reassured her. "I can get it myself."

"I got it," she said coolly. "Let's go." Ana gestured upstairs.

As the two climbed the stairs, Ana switched back to the original topic. "What exactly did you mean, 'hurt yourself a little'?"

"Goodness, Ana," chuckled Remus. "It's nothing- really!"

Ana glared at him and did her best to keep up a strong expression. However, she did her signature, "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK I'M SO NERVOUS" tell by scratching the corner of her lips.

"Stop being so anxious, An, I'm really fine," said Remus reassuringly.

"I'm not anxious," Ana lied.

"I know when you're lying," sighed Remus. "I've known you for long enough."

Ana glared at him and sent him an expression to say, "This is not over."

Remus sighed again as Ana opened a door on the right.

"Remus!" said Lily, grinning and looking up from her game of Gobstones with Alice and Marlene.

Alice and Marlene waved, but their faces were currently covered with large tissues.

"What happened here?" asked Ana, scrunching up her nose.

"Stinksap happened," Lily said triumphantly. 

A/n: In case you guys didn't know, is you lose a game of Gobstones, the marbles will squirt you in the face as what is mentioned in the books as "a foul smelling liquid". It was never specified, but for the sake of this book, we're using the term Stinksap. Stinksap was first introduced as a byproduct of one of the plants Neville Longbottom owned. :)

"Where's Frank?" asked Ana. 

"I think he's in the bathroom, crying," said Marlene calmly. 

"I'm regretting inviting the poor boy," said James, tutting.

"I'll go get him," said Alice, standing up. The stinky tissues slid off of her face and onto the floor.

Sirius gagged. "Are you sure we can't use magic?"

"Forget the smell for a second-" said Remus, doing a quick head count. "Ivy and Sage aren't here. Didn't you invite them?"

"We're here," said two voices in unison from on top of the bunk bed.

Two bright ginger blobs peeked out over the edge. 

Remus jumped. "That was- unnecessarily creepy."

"We know," said the twin on the right. 

"Creepiness is our specialty," added the twin on the left.

Remus looked a little terrified. He turned to look at Ana.

"I lived with them for 5 years," she said with a snort. "You can live with them for  a week."

"I feel bad for you," said Remus bleakly.

"Hey!" the twins said in unison.

"Someone had to say the truth," said Sirius. "And I thought you two were Hufflepuffs? You know- always for the truth? Loyalty? Happiness? Hugs?"

"We're not all hugs," chided Ana. "We're just 50% hugs."

"And the other 50%?" asked Peter.

"That includes a variety of things," said the twin on the left.

"Like?" said James eagerly.

"Sass is about 20%," said the twin on the right. "Right, Ivy? Or was it 25%?"

Ivy shook her head. "No, you're right, it is 20%."

"Right," said Sage. "And- what-? 10% for- An, do you remember?"

"No, you two got it all wrong," corrected Ana. "It's 50% hugs and 50% sass."

Ivy and Sage nodded their heads slowly. 

"Right," said Ivy. "Now I remember."

"You three seem to have put an awful lot of thought into this," noted Marlene.

"Yeah," said Ana. "Sometimes we'll just do the same percentage thing with people we know."

"Let's try one," suggested James.

Alice (still covered in sludge) and Frank stepped into the room.

"What are we doing?" asked Alice excitedly.

"Can I leave?" said Frank.

"It's ok," Remus said empathetically. "I know how you feel."

"I think you're the only sane Marauder," said Frank with a laugh.

Ana cleared her throat.

"I think you're the only sane Marauder," Frank repeated, still looking at Remus.

Ana's jaw dropped. "Is this your way of saying I'm not sane?"

"An," said Sage. "Almost no one in this room is."

While everyone was arguing on whether or not Ana was sane, James and Sirius had already explained what they had been doing to Frank and Alice, and the two were eager to start.

"I'll go first!" Lily piped up, before anyone else could even volunteer. "Hmm... Marlene!"

"100% crazy," said Ana.

"90% crazy," Sirius corrected.

"And what's the other 10%?" asked Remus curiosly. 

"9% of it is the knowledge of the true value of food," Sirius explained calmly. "And 1% of it is sanity."

"Sanity as in being sane, or sanity as in hygiene?" asked Marlene.

"Well, you brush your teeth and take baths," shrugged Ana. "You're pretty hygenic."

"Does she wash her hands before she eats?" asked Peter.

"Of course!" said Marlene. "I have proper respect for the art of food. I will not touch it with tainted hands."

She and Sirius shared a quick high-five.

"I'll go next," said Marlene. "Remus."

"99% love for books," said Sirius.

"And chocolate," said James and Peter in unison.

"200% love for Ana," Ivy coughed subtly.

Thankfully, no one was close enough to the bunk bed to hear the twins other than Remus and Ana, and they shared one nervous look.

"I stole his chocolate in our first year," said Lily, reminiscing. "I still remember hearing his temper tantrum from the boys dorm."

"I remember that!" said Peter with a laugh. "We had to hold you back so you wouldn't charge at Lily like a bull."

The group had a long laugh, until it was Remus' turn next. "Sirius."

"60% chance that he reads Vogue," said Ana loudly.

"That's not how the game works, Ana," said James. "But I completely agree."

"Uh-" said Sirius. "I do read Vogue. Did I not tell you guys?"

They all shook their heads.

"Why?" asked Frank weakly.

Sirius shrugged. "Mostly because it annoys my Mum."

No one pressed the matter.

"Your turn to pick someone, Sirius," said Alice.

"James," Sirius said, without a second of thought.

"65% egocentric," said Lily thoughtfully.

"At least it's not 100%," said James. "This is progress."

"35% stupidly impulsive," said Sage loudly.

Just before James was about to retort, Peter said, "Come on, pick someone else!"

"Pete!" said James with a grin. 

"80% huggable," said Ivy thoughtfully.

"20% stupidly impulsive," said Sage, then shrugged. "All the Marauders are a little stupidly impulsive."

Peter snickered. "Lily, your turn!"

"99.99% reviews her notes every night," said Ana.

Lily glared at her, but didn't deny it. 

They continued with people in the room, then went on to teachers and students!

And they had so much fun that they didn't even notice the sun had begun setting.

"Dinnertime!" called out Mrs Potter. "Let's get seated!"

And that's exactly what they did. They sat down and had one of the greatest meals of their lives- not because of only the food, but because of the people.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! :)

Love y'all!

- Jui Weasley