TW AND CW: light to heavy swearing, some mature jokes

Alright, so I had a bit of a HUGE mistake with google translate :/

Apparently, I mixed up some terms from latin and no, it is not a 'veteremagus', it's a 'Figuramagus'. Yayyyyyyy

So we've established that I can't trust google translate... so we're also pretending that I never wrote the words 'veteremagus'.

Anyways, let's get on with the in-grammatically correct story (lol grammarly would SUE me)

"So," said Ana. "What's a Figuramagus?"

Madam Pomfrey furrowed her lips. "I haven't heard that term before. Give me one second while I go check my medical index."

Ana and Remus nodded.

Madam Pomfrey bustled off to her office.

Remus glanced down at Ana's concerned face. "Hey," he whispered reassuringly. "It'll be alright. Madam Pomfrey's the best Healer we've had in a long time."

Ana nodded and looked down at her mismatched socks. "I'm just a little worried."

"Any person in their right minds would be," said Remus. "You just saw your symptoms in a medical catalog! Of course you're concerned!"

Ana raised an eyebrow at Remus' face. "That does NOT help."

Remus chuckled quietly and squeezed Ana's shoulder- the un-burned one.

"You're such a dork," muttered Ana, burying her head into Remus' chest.

Remus tried not to turn red.

"And socially awkward," added Ana, smiling slightly.

"I'm not-"

"Yes," said Ana. "Yes, you are. I remember when you tried to talk to that Ravenclaw girl you had a crush on in Herbology. You looked like you were dying. I ACTUALLY had to come and tell her that she had a Venemous Tentacula on her back so that her attention would get off of your social AWKWARDNESS!"

"And she said, 'OMG IT'S VENOMOOS!'" said Remus quietly with a laugh, remembering the memory from their 4th year.

Ana snickered, head still nestled in Remus' warm sweater. 

Remus rubbed her back gently.

Ana felt something implode in her stomach, like a bunch of butterflies had been set loose from a cage.

"Venemoos," she giggled, ignoring the weird feeling in her stomach. "What does that even mean?"

"No idea," snickered Remus, trying to ignore the blush creeping up his neck. "What was her name, again? Katie? Kendra?"

"Kayla," corrected Ana. "Kayla Turner. She's a year older than us, and she's hates studying. Thinks the library's trash. Also thinks that plastic in the ocean is not worthy of our attention."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Okay, first of all, I'm regretting the fact that I ever liked her, because she seems crazy. And second of all, how d'you know all this? Are you friends with her or something?"

"Nope," said Ana. "I just remember. I did some snooping around on her last year. I figured, if you learnt how to not be socially awkward and managed to ask her out and she said yes, I would want to know her backstory a little. Don't want my best friend being heartbroken over some girl who doesn't care."

The blush was now definitely spreading to Remus' cheeks. "That was nice of you."

Ana shrugged. "I mean, you may be a total pain in the arse sometimes, but you're MY pain in the arse. No one's breaking your heart on my watch."

"Oh, wow," said Remus, smiling to himself a little. "Thanks."

After a moment of silence, Ana started humming, "Bohemian Rhapsody" under her breath dreamily.

Remus grinned and rested his head on top of Ana's.

After a minute or two of calm humming and calling each other arses, Madam Pomfrey had returned with a grim expression.

Ana and Remus quickly scrambled apart.

"Well?" asked Ana nervously.

"I have good news and other good news," said Madam Pomfrey with a grin. "The good news- you'll live! The other good news... well... do you know what a Metamorphmagus is?"

Ana and Remus nodded, a little confused.

"Well," continued Madam Pomfrey, sitting down in a chair. "There are more kinds of people like that with gifts. But there aren't many. A Figuramagus is one of the most uncommon."

Ana and Remus exchanged a glance, bracing themselves for what was coming next.

"Do you know Latin?" asked Madam Pomfrey suddenly.

Ana shook her head, but Remus nodded.

"A little," he said.

"What do you think the word 'figura' means?"

"Er..." said Remus. "Shape?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "You're correct. Figura means shape. And by that logic, it technically translates to 'Shape magician'."

"I can turn things into shapes?" asked Ana amusedly.

"No," said Madam Pomfrey, shaking her head. "Like an Animagus, but you can choose, well, any animal."

"Cool!" said Ana with a grin.

Madam Pomfrey smiled to herself. "However, it takes a bit of pratice to master. The burn mark? It was a sign that you're starting to pick up a little bit of the ability."

"So..." said Ana, picking at a strand of loose hair. "No bad news?"

"No."

"Great, then," said Ana with a grin. "We ought to go back to the common room, Rem."

"Wait," said Madam Pomfrey as the two students got up. "Don't you have class?"

"No- er-" said Ana. "Free period," she lied.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, then smirked slightly. "Have fun in class."

Ana nodded nonchalantly and turned with Remus to go, and then it clicked in her brain. "Madam Pomfrey! It's- disgusting, no!"

Madam Pomfrey simply winked and walked off.

Ana stood there, gaping. "I swear, all the teachers are shipping us."

"Just like the rest of the annoying school," added Remus. "In arithmancy yesterday, my teacher called me up to ask me if 'the other one' wouldn't mind if I got partnered with some girl from my class. I asked her who she meant by 'the other one' and she thought you were my girlfriend and you would get jealous if I was partnered with another girl."

Ana gagged. "I love you and all that shit, Rem, but, ew, no!"

Remus snorted. "Same goes for you, minus the love part."

"Rem!"

"What?"

"What happened to being my awesome emotional support wolf?" whined Ana, strolling down the corridor next to Remus.

"Well," said Remus sinisterly. "Now we know what you can do. We can be emotional support wolves together."

"No, we can be emotional support Nifflers together," said Ana. "Nifflers are cute."

"I thought you thought ALL animals were cute," noted Remus.

"Yes, Remus," sighed Ana. "We know you're very pretty."

"Did you just call me an animal?"

"You should see yourself when you're eating chocolate," scoffed Ana, turning to the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Neo purpura."

As they walked inside, Remus said, "You've literally memorised the Gryffindor common room password as a non-Gryffindor."

"I do it so I can read with my pain in the arse bestie," said Ana, flopping onto the couch, pulling the right side of the book onto her lap.

Remus sat down next to her and pulled the left side of the book onto his lap.

"Tell me when to turn," muttered Remus.

"'Right."

After a few minutes of quiet reading, Ana rested her head on Remus' shoulder and Remus placed his head on Ana's.

They sat in silence, reading their book together.

Truth was, Ana had always had a tiny crush on Remus, but she didn't want to risk their great friendship.

After all, Remus couldn't like Ana.

Could he?

LOL I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS

I love you guys too because you help me by ignoring my total plot messups lol

THANKS GUYS

Love, Jui W.