April 3, 2013

Wow you learn something new every day, today I learned that I think I may be ok with this whole mate thing. Ok maybe not completely but I will get there right? We watched so many movies to day. We watched silence of the lambs, Hannibal rising, silent hill, and the house down the street, and then after we watched some happier ones to shake the chill. He was there the entire time in my head calming me down when I was scared but that kinda took the fun out of the movies... I saw Stella glancing at Hunter quit a lot makes me wonder hmm…..

Well any way I have to go to sleep. I’m wiped out.

The next morning I woke with a start to someone climbing onto my bed I come up swinging. I felt my fist make contact with a very masculine hard jaw causing me more pain than him I think. I started shaking my hand out as soon as I made contact. “Owie! Who the hell do you think you are, climbing into my bed, in the middle of the night?!” I screeched my voice more than a little high pitched.

I  heard his deep chuckle the timber of his voice low and smooth almost like a balm against your soul “I’m your mate is who I think I am nothing more nothing more nothing more nothing less” he grabbed my hand examining it “you have one nasty back hand. And did u just say owie?” he smirked at me and I felt my face heat up for the millionth time. “It was cute” and there went any chance my face wasn’t red.

“Maybe” ok that may have been a bit defensive.

“I think you’ll live” he smiled that smile that made me want to melt “think you just maybe bruised it some” he kissed my hand softly  and smiled at me his eyes sparkling, causing me to shiver, “Did you know that we start school in a week?” he dropped my hand and moved to lay on the bed.

“Ugh!” I flop down on the bed surprising myself as well as him it looked like, I felt his arm snake around my waist before I was pulled unto his chest.

“Would you do me the honor of allowing me to take you on a date?” he sounded so formal, I started giggling, gosh what has gotten into me?  But despite wanting to say no, I nodded my head with a huge stinking grin on my face.

Jerking out of my daze I scrambled away from him, “No! No, you can not take me on a date!” I propped my hands on my hips. I could see the fury raging in his eyes.

the rumbling in his chest got louder and louder till it became a full out growl “And why can't i? you are mine!” i felt myself shrinking away from him whimpering. there was a look in his eye he the man was no longer in control the animals was….

“I am no ones! I am my own person!” chip must have heard the screaming because he popped his head around the corner and started growling. Shane who oddly enough growled back! “I want you out of my room and out of my house! I am not a possession!” Tears started rolling down my face his look softens and he tries to pull me into a hug. Shaking him off i point at the open door. Chip was still growling at him but had moved to my side.

Sighing Shane moved to the door with a sorrowful look on his face “I hope that you one day learn to except this, me…” and with that he left.

I and shut the door before falling into my bed crying, chip climbs up with me and curls up against my side. Before i know it Lilia and Stella have entered the room and sat at the end of the bed looking at me. “Are you both just going to stare at me or what? If so i would like if you would show your self out please. I dont feel like be stared at all day”

“Don't jump to conclusions missy! We are worried about you. we weren't sure if you were going to bite our heads off if we were to speak.” Smart mouth stella strikes again.

I shrug my shoulders and  roll over on the bed “Why do I feel like I just got my heart ripped out? I barely know the guy for one thing and another i sent him away by choice!” Rubbing my eyes with my hands i sat back on my bed exhausted “Why can't i have a guy who understands me and lets me be who i am without controlling me?”

“I don't know Scar, but i think you may have only scratched the surface with this one, go on the date and see who he really is. At least thats what i would do.” Lilia says sincerely

Nodding i speak “Thanks you two, i think at this point what i need is to spend some time alone to think.” Giving a small smile i hug them before they vacate the room leaving me to my thoughts at last. doing what  I always do I pull my journal out from under my pillow and start to write