Peregrin Tugwood's Guide To Looking Great (and Feeling Fine)
written by Professor Draekon
Peregrin Tugwood was the great nephew of Sacharissa Tugwood, who pioneered cosmetic and beautifying potions in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. While following his great aunt's approach to beauty, Peregrin was known to take a more holistic approach to the concept, also concentrating on muscle definition, stress-free demeanor, quick wit, and memory. Tugwood's Guide to Looking Great! (And Feeling Fine) was first published in 1965, but quickly had multiple re-printings. It appears here in its most recent publication from 1993, and includes any corrections or additions to the original recipes.
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
20
Reads
14,084
Wit-Sharpening Potion
Chapter 10
Wit-Sharpening Potion
Estimated Brewing Time:
274.5 minutes (Four hours, thirty four minutes, thirty seconds)
Total Brewing Time:
Three to five days, four hours, thirty four minutes, thirty seconds
Ingredients:
Two (2) L of water
Eight (8) scarab beetles1
One (1) ginger root2
Three (3) feathers of hamsa1
Six (6) winter cherries2
Thirty (30) ml armadillo bile2
Five (5) dried periwinkle leaves1
Thirty (30) ml St. John’s wort infusion2
Instructions:
Part One:
1. Add 500ml of water to the cauldron and bring to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
2. Pulverize eight scarab beetles to a fine powder.
3. Chop one ginger root into half a cm (0.2”) width pieces.
4. Add two tb of the scarab beetle powder to the cauldron.
5. Stir once counterclockwise.
6. Add two segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
7. Bring the heat up to 373 Kelvin (100°C/212°F) for two minutes and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
8. Allow the potion to brew for 35 minutes.
Mustard yellow; none; licorice
Part Two:
1. Add one hamsa feather (caution: cauldron may spit).
2. Stir once clockwise.
3. Add four winter cherries to the cauldron.
4. Allow the cauldron to bubble for five minutes.
5. Measure out 30ml of armadillo bile and add it to the cauldron.
6. Stir twice counter-clockwise.
7. Allow the potion to brew for 24 minutes.
Deep red; light yellow (no sparks); roast chicken
Part Three:
1. Remove the potion from the heat source and allow it to sit and cool for 90 minutes.
2. While the potion is sitting, take five dried periwinkle leaves and crush to a fine powder.
Violet; no steam; moldy wood
Part Four:
1. Add the cauldron to the heat source again, and add three tablespoons of crushed scarab beetle to the cauldron.
2. Add two tb of crushed periwinkle leaves to the cauldron.
3. Carefully add one hamsa feather to the cauldron.
4. Allow it to bubble and spit for 45 seconds.
5. Stir twice clockwise.
6. Bring the heat up to 373 Kelvin (100°C/212°F) for 50 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
7. Allow the potion to brew for 16 minutes.
Pale purple; golden; mothballs
Part Five:
1. Add one L of water to the cauldron and allow it to heat for 60 seconds.
2. Add four sliced segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
3. Add one hamsa feather to the cauldron.
4. Stir twice counter-clockwise.
5. Bring the heat up to 383 Kelvin (110°C/230°F) for 180 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
6. Add two more sliced segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
7. Stir once counter-clockwise and thrice clockwise.
8. Crush two winter cherries in mortar, making sure as much juice is squeezed out as possible.
9. Add juiced cherries, pulp, and skin to the cauldron.
10. Allow the potion to brew for 53 minutes.
Muddy green; pink; musty peppermint
Part Six:
1. Add 500ml of water to the cauldron.
2. Stir contents twice counter-clockwise.
3. Add two tb of the crushed scarab beetles to the cauldron.
4. Add 30ml infusion of St. John’s wort to the cauldron.
5. Stir two and a half times clockwise.
6. Allow the potion to bubble for three minutes.
7. Add one tb of the crushed scarab beetles to the cauldron.
8. Bring the heat up to 378 Kelvin (105°C/221°F) for 90 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
9. Allow the potion to brew for 45 minutes.
10. Remove the potion and allow it to cool for ten minutes. Siphon it into a phial for maturation storage.
Violet; orange and yellow sparks; tangy cumin and pepper
Maturation Notes:
The potion should be allowed to mature in a room temperature environment in direct light for three to fivedays. Longer maturation will give the potion greater potency, but more than five days of maturation will make it too powerful and unfit for wizard consumption.
To Store:
Following at least three days of maturation, the potion should be stored in a room temperature or slightly warmer environment out of direct light (although dark is not necessary). It can be stored safely for up to six months.
To Use:
The Wit-Sharpening Potion should only be taken under the guidance of a trained potioneer or healer. Typical prescriptions for the potion will include 15 ml being taken every two to three days. However, in the case of medical prescription of the potion, it may be given in up to 45 ml each day for up to thirty days in a row.
Caution:
Please note that this potion contains infusion of St. John’s wort. While in most cases, when used in a potion, it has proven harmless, care should still be taken when those diagnosed with bipolar personality disorder take the potion. Those who are diagnosed as such are discouraged from taking supplements and potions with St. John’s wort unless overseen by a healer, as this herb can exacerbate and promote manic episodes.
Overdose on the Wit-Sharpening Potion can lead to dementia and other permanent forms of brain damage. This is a result of the brain’s functions working too quickly without the proper support, thus “burning out” the brain in a sense. Those who are pregnant or who plan on becoming pregnant while taking the Wit-Sharpening Potion should not do so, as it can have severe mental and neurological impacts on the fetus.
Side effects of the Wit-Sharpening Potion include irregular heartbeats, difficulty performing some spells, tingling in the fingers and toes, raised body temperature, and dry mouth.
The potion should never be consumed after six months time, since expired Wit-Sharpening Potion can lead to lost memory, confusion, and permanent incapacitation. In some cases, it has even led to coma, vegetative state, and full loss of functioning.
Allergies to the Wit-Sharpening Potion are rare, but they can include itching of the nose and mouth, trouble breathing, and splotchy green spots on the hands, feet, and other extremities. Should this occur, stop use and consult with a healer immediately, as they can lead to more severe complications. Complications after long-term allergic reaction can include permanent memory loss, fatigue, and muscle deterioration.
Estimated Brewing Time:
274.5 minutes (Four hours, thirty four minutes, thirty seconds)
Total Brewing Time:
Three to five days, four hours, thirty four minutes, thirty seconds
Ingredients:
Two (2) L of water
Eight (8) scarab beetles1
One (1) ginger root2
Three (3) feathers of hamsa1
Six (6) winter cherries2
Thirty (30) ml armadillo bile2
Five (5) dried periwinkle leaves1
Thirty (30) ml St. John’s wort infusion2
Instructions:
Part One:
1. Add 500ml of water to the cauldron and bring to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
2. Pulverize eight scarab beetles to a fine powder.
3. Chop one ginger root into half a cm (0.2”) width pieces.
4. Add two tb of the scarab beetle powder to the cauldron.
5. Stir once counterclockwise.
6. Add two segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
7. Bring the heat up to 373 Kelvin (100°C/212°F) for two minutes and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
8. Allow the potion to brew for 35 minutes.
Mustard yellow; none; licorice
Part Two:
1. Add one hamsa feather (caution: cauldron may spit).
2. Stir once clockwise.
3. Add four winter cherries to the cauldron.
4. Allow the cauldron to bubble for five minutes.
5. Measure out 30ml of armadillo bile and add it to the cauldron.
6. Stir twice counter-clockwise.
7. Allow the potion to brew for 24 minutes.
Deep red; light yellow (no sparks); roast chicken
Part Three:
1. Remove the potion from the heat source and allow it to sit and cool for 90 minutes.
2. While the potion is sitting, take five dried periwinkle leaves and crush to a fine powder.
Violet; no steam; moldy wood
Part Four:
1. Add the cauldron to the heat source again, and add three tablespoons of crushed scarab beetle to the cauldron.
2. Add two tb of crushed periwinkle leaves to the cauldron.
3. Carefully add one hamsa feather to the cauldron.
4. Allow it to bubble and spit for 45 seconds.
5. Stir twice clockwise.
6. Bring the heat up to 373 Kelvin (100°C/212°F) for 50 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
7. Allow the potion to brew for 16 minutes.
Pale purple; golden; mothballs
Part Five:
1. Add one L of water to the cauldron and allow it to heat for 60 seconds.
2. Add four sliced segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
3. Add one hamsa feather to the cauldron.
4. Stir twice counter-clockwise.
5. Bring the heat up to 383 Kelvin (110°C/230°F) for 180 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
6. Add two more sliced segments of ginger root to the cauldron.
7. Stir once counter-clockwise and thrice clockwise.
8. Crush two winter cherries in mortar, making sure as much juice is squeezed out as possible.
9. Add juiced cherries, pulp, and skin to the cauldron.
10. Allow the potion to brew for 53 minutes.
Muddy green; pink; musty peppermint
Part Six:
1. Add 500ml of water to the cauldron.
2. Stir contents twice counter-clockwise.
3. Add two tb of the crushed scarab beetles to the cauldron.
4. Add 30ml infusion of St. John’s wort to the cauldron.
5. Stir two and a half times clockwise.
6. Allow the potion to bubble for three minutes.
7. Add one tb of the crushed scarab beetles to the cauldron.
8. Bring the heat up to 378 Kelvin (105°C/221°F) for 90 seconds and then reduce to 363 Kelvin (90°C/194°F).
9. Allow the potion to brew for 45 minutes.
10. Remove the potion and allow it to cool for ten minutes. Siphon it into a phial for maturation storage.
Violet; orange and yellow sparks; tangy cumin and pepper
Maturation Notes:
The potion should be allowed to mature in a room temperature environment in direct light for three to fivedays. Longer maturation will give the potion greater potency, but more than five days of maturation will make it too powerful and unfit for wizard consumption.
To Store:
Following at least three days of maturation, the potion should be stored in a room temperature or slightly warmer environment out of direct light (although dark is not necessary). It can be stored safely for up to six months.
To Use:
The Wit-Sharpening Potion should only be taken under the guidance of a trained potioneer or healer. Typical prescriptions for the potion will include 15 ml being taken every two to three days. However, in the case of medical prescription of the potion, it may be given in up to 45 ml each day for up to thirty days in a row.
Caution:
Please note that this potion contains infusion of St. John’s wort. While in most cases, when used in a potion, it has proven harmless, care should still be taken when those diagnosed with bipolar personality disorder take the potion. Those who are diagnosed as such are discouraged from taking supplements and potions with St. John’s wort unless overseen by a healer, as this herb can exacerbate and promote manic episodes.
Overdose on the Wit-Sharpening Potion can lead to dementia and other permanent forms of brain damage. This is a result of the brain’s functions working too quickly without the proper support, thus “burning out” the brain in a sense. Those who are pregnant or who plan on becoming pregnant while taking the Wit-Sharpening Potion should not do so, as it can have severe mental and neurological impacts on the fetus.
Side effects of the Wit-Sharpening Potion include irregular heartbeats, difficulty performing some spells, tingling in the fingers and toes, raised body temperature, and dry mouth.
The potion should never be consumed after six months time, since expired Wit-Sharpening Potion can lead to lost memory, confusion, and permanent incapacitation. In some cases, it has even led to coma, vegetative state, and full loss of functioning.
Allergies to the Wit-Sharpening Potion are rare, but they can include itching of the nose and mouth, trouble breathing, and splotchy green spots on the hands, feet, and other extremities. Should this occur, stop use and consult with a healer immediately, as they can lead to more severe complications. Complications after long-term allergic reaction can include permanent memory loss, fatigue, and muscle deterioration.
