HOWLER NEWS

Chattering Cats

Report written by Vallie Twig

August 10

Yesterday, at 2:56 p.m., the Ministry of Magic recieved news of "talking cats" from Muggle police. Apparently, a Muggle named John Barlow went out for a walk on his work break and found several cats blabbering about. Barlow later phoned the police about the cats and claimed they were talking about the weather. The police didn't believe him, of course. But the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes quickly heard word and was on the task in no time. The Accidental Magic Reversal Squad reversed whatever spell was put on the felines, and the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee later paid a visit to Mr. Barlow disguised as Muggle police. They showed him the cats, proved they weren't talking, and told Barlow that he was probably just stressed with work, which made him hallucinate the cats speaking, and needed to take a break once in a while. Fortunately, John Barlow was quick to agree with the Committee - he called his workplace to declare that he was going on a week-long vacation. 

"We still don't know who put the spell on the cats," says Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes worker, Gerald Kettles. "We're debating on asking around the neighborhood, asking if they saw anybody suspicious come around, and disguising it as a police case, but we fear it may be too risky. 
"However, there is one thing we can assure the public - when we catch this troublemaker, we're going to make sure they're going to be in a lot of trouble, so it never, ever happens again." 

The Department is accepting reports from the public, so if you hear word of this mischief maker, please write a letter to the Ministry immediately.