February 23rd {Present}

I stare with sad eyes at the beautiful white casket before me, the early morning sun easing its way into the sky and casting a soft glow across its polished surface.

Tears threatened to fall but I willed them away and listened to the priest speak the words I never thought to hear.

I know what your all thinking. I'm sitting at a funeral-here for someone I loved-but I'm refusing to give into the tears.
I'm refusing to give into my emotions. Why?

It's not that I don't care, I do really, it's just the fact that I have been prepared for this day ever since I met her. I couldn't control it.
I couldn't control her death any more than she could, everyone dies in life, she just happened to go to many years early.

I may not be showing the part of me that is dying, but that doesn't make me inhumane. I loved her.

I loved her so much I refuse to show the part of me that wished she didn't die of cancer.

I remember the words and love we shared and smile at the thought finally realizing that she died getting the one dream she had always wanted.

She wanted a love to share with someone and I so happened to give that to her.

So I don't see the reasons to hiding behind a thousand tears, wishing that they could just bring her back so that I may get my last stolen kiss under that starry night sky.

Instead I will remember our star crossed love and hold onto the moments we shared.

All I had to offer her was nothing more than a mere two years of love and joy and that's all that mattered to her.
All she ever wanted was someone to see past the dying part of her and allow her to feel normal in the world.

I envied her so much, she could pretend like everything was alright when it clearly wasn't. I mean how can anyone pretend they weren't dying when they were wilting away before their very eyes?

I could never handle that, I could never just pretend that my heart wasn't slowly failing on me.
But maybe that was why I both loved and envied her in the first place. She didn't let the mere fact that she was in fact dying stop her from trying to live the life she wanted.

As a tribute to her memory, she had asked me to share her story, and that's exactly what I plan to do.

So this is where I start:

Lyelle Evadean Beute was born in London, England and moved to America when she was eight.

I had met her when she enrolled into my third grade class. Mrs. Covetts class.

We became friends fairly easy, maybe because I was the only one to understand the hell that it was when being moved from your home.

I got about four years with her until she began to get really sick. It was concerning her parents, so they got her checked out, only to find out that she was cancer positive.

Scared, she did the only thing she could think of, she ran. She didn't want to hurt me because she was dying and I loved her.

So she left me.

I had lost hope after about a year. I held onto the only hope I had and believed that she was still alive.

I was right, becuase it was another long year before I spotted the girl I loved sitting on a rock on the beach.

Her physical appearance had changed. Her hair was short, and dull, her skin was pale and her once vibrant green eyes that shown with so much life were weak and lifeless.

It was sad seeing her life this, the cancer was slwoly eating away at her body.

Anyday and she could just drop.

But she didn't plan on that. She was a fighter.

She didn't give up until her heart stopped beating.

She managed to live two years extra, which surprised her doctors.

The only real sad part was that she became too weak to fight anymore and allowed her heart to give up.

Lyelle fought for four years but fate was still against her.

She still died, and I had lost the only girl I have ever loved.