As I have been cataloging these oddities, it has occurred to me that I have yet to turn the microscope on the oddity with which I am most intimately familiar: Myself. If I succeed in publishing my theory, I am bound to become something of a public figure, so, for the sake of historical record, I should perhaps touch on the subject: Who am I?

To put it simply, I am strange. I was born strange, I was attracted to strange, and the strange has always been attracted to me.

Where I grew up we were encouraged to follow rules and fit the mold. I recall finding a shrunken head in the family pawnshop and bringing it to show-and-tell. Every other student brought a football, a football trophy, or a book about football. All of these objects were thrown at me as I gave my report. If my brother hadn't shielded me and punched one of the other kids in the nose, I might have spent the rest of the year in the hospital.