The funeral was terrible. I mean, it was lovely and pleasant, just
like Tonks, but it hurt so much. I tried to keep my composure, but I
couldn't. I tried not to cry, but I had to. Everyone said something,
except me. I couldn't seem to speak. I'd open my mouth, and the only
thing that would happen is tears pouring out of my eyes.

I left a
flower, by her grave though. After everyone left, I stayed. I actually
slept there that night. Which sucks because I had only two hours the
next morning before I had to be on the Hogwarts Express.

No one
bothered to sit with me. All my friends understood why I was so quiet,
why I couldn't speak. They understood that I wanted to be alone. So
that's where they left me, alone. I was sitting in my lonely
compartment, banging my head against the wall as tears slowly fell.

Why
Tonks? She was so kind and loving and always happy, why her? Couldn't
it have been me? Why wasn't it me? I was closer. But Tonks was closer to
the door. She would have gotten away quicker. Another tear fell into my
lap.

Ted and 'Dromeda had brought me my rucksack, wand, and
Pluto. Yes, I was grateful, but I was still mad at them for leaving me.
They left me, and I killed those men.

Tap, Tap, Tap.

It
wasn't my head who made those sounds, but the door. I looked up at it. I
shook my head and went back to banging it on the wall. The sound of a
spell and the door unlocking filled my ears. Darn you spells.

"River-"

"Go away, Sirius. Please," those were the only words I'd uttered in what seems like years.

"I
just wanted to say, sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm
sorry for shoving Marlene in your face, I'm sorry for your friend, I'm
sorry fir hurting you. I guess, I'm sorry for everything." He said. I
choked back a sob, only to let them all out. I couldn't help the tears
that flowed from my eyes like water thorough a river, I couldn't help
all the sharp intakes of breath, and I couldn't help the soft cries that
came from my mouth. Sirius pulled me to him and hugged me. I fought him
fir a couple seconds, but his strong arms kept me where I was. So, I
naturally sobbed on his chest with him trying to calm me down.

"I killed them, Sirius! I slaughtered them! How could I?" I cried.

"You
couldn't have killed them, River. It was an animal, a creature. It
wasn't a full moon, so it couldn't have been you," he whispered. I
pulled back.

"It was me Sirius. Look," I stood up and thought
angry thoughts. I thought of Tonks' dead body, I thought of 'Dromeda and
Ted leaving me, I thought of Sirius' father's face. When I opened my
eyes again, Sirius was staring at me with wide eyes.

"You're...you're an Animagus?" He stammered. I shook my head and licked his hand once.

"You
are Eclipse though. That's why Evans named you Eclipse, because you're a
werewolf. Remus, James, and Peter all called you Eclipse. I was
confused at first, now I'm not. You make a beautiful dog...wolf! I mean
wolf!" Sirius pet my head. I thought of Tonks being alive and her
smiling. Soon, I was sitting next to Sirius again.

"Don't tell
anyone, Razzy. Only Lils, Jinxy, and...Tonks...knows. You can't tell
anyone. Promise, Razzy?" I looked I'm straight in the eye. He smirked.

"So, since you're calling me Razzy again, dies that mean we're friends?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," I laughed.

"Great!"
He kissed my cheek and ran out. I was to happy to realize he didn't
accept my promise. I touched my cheek gingerly and smiled. Is right that
I'm still able love, even though My friend just died?

Tonks would have wanted me to keep moving on. Tonks would have wanted me to keep living. That's what I intended in doing.

"Welcome
back to another year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
Before the sorting, I'd like to say a few words! They are: Bedspring,
Mimblewimble, shabang, and kazuntight!" Dumbledore exclaimed, smiling
down at everyone. I smiled. Dumbledore was awesome.

"You OK, Rani?" Lils asked me. I nodded and smiled weakly.

"What happened on the train?" Jinxy added. I told them what happened. Lils bopped me upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" I groaned, rubbing my head.

"You don't just go around and show people your Wolfness!" She hissed.

"He needed to know how his dad died," I replied with a frown. Lils' face softened.

"Oh, yeah," she turned to her food and started to eat it.

"Miss Longbottom!" Professor McGonagall yelled, shuffling over to me.

"Yes, Professor?" I smiled at her.

"If you'd like, you don't have to attend classes tomorrow. I heard what happened. Terrible, terrible," she shook her head.

"That's OK Professor. Tonks would have wanted me to continue in my studies," I said.

"Very well." she walked away after that. Jinxy, Lils and I headed off to the Commen Room.

"Fortuna
Major," I said. The portrait swung open. The three of us stepped
inside. The bustling Commen Room became quiet immediately. All the heads
were looking at me.

"Stop staring! Haven't you ever seen a girl
before?" Someone yelled. It was Sirius. The Gryffindors went back to
what ever they were doing before, but they were whispering.

"It must be hard..."

"I feel so bad for her..."

"I didn't know Tonks very well..."

"I wonder who killed the men..."

Moving
on. That's what I was doing. Moving past all the whispers, all the
looks, all the memories. Keep moving forward. That was Tonks' policy, so
now it's mine.