Around the age of 5 I began experiencing a severe bought of depression,
I'm not sure how long it lasted looking back but it was longer that it
should have been at that point in my life. Now, 11 years later I've been
on medication for nearly a year for my depression which followed me
throughout my life. This change was a horrible and agonizing process coming on to. I eagerly took my allotted 1 pill a day as soon as I got the prescription to fix this affliction. It began with auditory and visual hallucinations, the latter has subsided but I still hear a lot of auditory hallucinations. Then I began humanizing. When you're truly depressed you have sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies. These soon subsided on the medication and I was forced to cope with the horrible realities of my world and my own morality and mortality. I myself have uttered the magic words. I'm off the pills I tell myself, next time I see my psychiatrist I'll tell her I'm done. It never comes to fruition though.

In the years before my medication and humanization I took an interest in counter culture. Murder, shootings, drugs. Anything you could think of. I was a lost angst filled teenager looking for a place in the world. I was mad at everyone and everything including myself. My thoughts drift back to the erect nipple wet dreams and the great homecoming fuck fantasy with mary jane rottencrotch I would have often. Sex was not a prominent part of my life or thought process, but when it did come into play it was a beast in the back of my head telling me to fuck anything that moves.

Late in my 14th year of living I met a girl named Christy and we hooked up. It was a long distance thing. I would always tell people she went to our school. "Yeah man I used to romp with her." "She just graduated man, you wouldn't know her." It was silly teenage love for us. I made the mistake of splitting from her because I was getting too attached, I told her it would only be a weak, but she turned on me and made it 3 months before I made a comment on a picture of hers on instagram. She texts me and I text back and we end up back together. It lasts for awhile before she becomes too much to handle and stops talking to me for days, the turns again and blames it on me. 3 more months later we we're back together again.

A little background on Christy. She was adopted fairly young as her parents left her, her mom and dad were heroin junkies and decided they couldn't raise a child

(More to come, I need a break right now.)