I was at the gas station, filling my gas.  Somehow my gas emptied a lot. It was probably because I took daily visits to Olivia’s “grave”. Technically it wasn’t her grave since they didn’t find her but that’s what everyone’s been calling it.

I was extremely devastated when I heard about Olivia’s death. I mean...she was my daughter. My friend. My soul. And she was killed on her birthday in front of her friends. I just...can’t take that. Now she is gone and I just feel empty and sorrowful.

I am the only one she had except her friends. She didn’t have a father since he walked out on me. Jason I remember was his name. But now Jason is gone and I guess I just have to move on. But I know I can’t. 

Death leaves many scars that are unseen.

After going to the gas station, I drove past my Ex’s house, since he was on my mind at the moment. Jason’s house was a blue house with mint green shutters. His house was still in bad shape since I had last seen it. It had a broken roof, cracked steps and railings, and a door that had chipped paint.

Jason never did care for how his house looked. I had the sudden urge to knock on his door but I thought it was a terrible idea.

I felt my hands moving on the steering wheel as I drove past. No they weren’t moving.  They were shaking.

I let out a breath I had been holding and pulled onto the side of the road, rubbing my hands together to stop them from shaking.

The more that I thought about Jason I filled with anger. I never did tell Olivia why Jason had left. He left because I told him that I didn’t want to be with an abusive angry person., which he was. 

But now I regret it. Now Olivia would never know who her father was or how he left. 

I put my head in my hands and cried in anger, sorrow, and sadness. I knew I needed to get justice for my daughter's death and find her body but I knew I couldn’t.

 I was weak. 

I wasn’t strong.

Kyle was right about all of the things he said. I didn’t have the strength to stand up for anything. For my daughter or anyone.