"Tell the story of a scar, whether a physical scar or an emotional one..." (Make a book with the same prompt and owl me the link. I'd love to read them!) The slash across my chest is a representation of that day, but no scar will ever run as deep as my internal one. That night scared me forever. No, not the night I tried and failed to kill Dumbledore. The day I saw it through his eyes and regretted everything, harder than I ever had before. It started where all bad dreams start, memories, events. The death eaters, pools of blood on the ground, my wand shaking in my hand. Adrenalin is a great thing at the moment, getting us through our hardest moments without even a second thought. The thing they don't tell you about is after. PTSD, I have heard it been called, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. What I call it is trauma. Nothing will ever prepare you for all of those sleepless nights, lying awake, begging for the dawn of the sun so you can stop looking, searching in every shadow for things that want to harm you. The first night I finally fell asleep was the most unpleasant night of my life. Worse, even than the nights I spent lying awake, staring into the darkness. The dream I had that night would be burned in my memory for the rest of my waking days. There I was, standing tall my wand raised, praying I would have the courage to strike. The crisp night air, cool breeze and the smell of blood. An old man, frozen to the spot, not even trying to fight his destiny. The sound of footsteps ringing in my ear as I stall. But the worst thing of all was when I looked into his eyes right before I failed. Pure sympathy. No one had ever looked at me like that. Pure concern and pain, but not for him. For me. The air suddenly felt heavy, too much for me to take it. As I was pushed aside by Snape I looked at him once again, but he was turned away, taking his last breaths. "Severus, please!" I thought that was a cry for mercy, though now I know it was not. He wanted it to end, for Snape to finish what I had begun, to save me. Me. To save me. No one, that I will ever know had that much love in their heart. He died to save not just me, but to save everyone that he needed to. And that is truly admirable. He died to save me. And I was going to kill him.