There Jessica and Kadin are kissing in the room. I just stare for a moment because I didn't know what to do. Kadin finally spots me and pulls away quick but it's too late. I saw them and they can't lie to me. Jessica has her hands behind her back and Kadin looks very uncomfortable again. I take a step backwards to the door.
"..uh..Liv." Kadin starts but I just couldn't at that moment.
I don't know why and I just wasn't thinking. I ran out of the room and out of the hotel. I ran outside in the freezing cold and sat on the bench. It was the same bench that me and Kadin sat on when we were waiting for the others. The same bench that I sat on when I was so close to telling Kadin about my past. I sighed as I shivered.
I wasn't planning on staying out here for long but just until I felt able to pretend again. I rubbed my arms as a gust of wind hit me. I sighed. Of course my life was life this. Whenever I think that it's finally going to get better it just has to hit me on my head. I thought that maybe this time I would dodge it when I stood up again but my life is cruel. I curl up on the bench to try and get warmer.
"Liv?" someone said and I look up to see almost the whole gang looking at me.
"what are you guys doing out here?" I asked surprised.
"Jess said you ran outside crying for no reason" Zac said as my blood boiled.
"Are you okay? What happened?" Carson asked.
Then Jessica and Kadin come outside and join the group and I feel myself getting angry just looking at her.
"first of all I'm not crying" I said standing up and looking at Jessica.
She tried to signal to me not to tell but at that moment I was really angry.
"second, it was not for NO reason that I ran out here" I said.
They all stared at me surprised that I was raising my voice.
"I'd just rather be alone right now" I said sitting on the bench again.
I knew they were curious about what I meant and they all looked at Jessica. She went paler as everyone stared at her for answers. They all just walked back inside. Jessica held onto Kadin's arm, making him stay. When everyone was inside again she turned to face me.
"Why did you have to do that!" she said staring at me.
Kadin just rubbed the back of his neck.
"What? You mean stick up for myself? You mean run out here to get away? Or do you mean lying about why I ran out here. OR was it because I kept your little secret from my true friends that you two were kissing?" I said getting up and starting to walk to the door.
"No! You know what you were doing. You were making everyone pay attention to you!" she said in a disgusted voice.
I stopped walking and I clenched my teeth. I turned around.
"You know what I am tired of people thinking I love attention because I don't. You must not know me very well to think that I would purposely draw attention to me." I said now getting tired of her.
She scoffed and I forgot Kadin was there. He didn't look too well and I knew he wouldn't want to be in a fight. I sighed.
"and at least I'm not someone who would call a "friend" fake behind their back" I said turning around again and heading to the doors.
She just gasped knowing that I heard her say that at the park and Kadin looked up at me too. I felt bad for him to be there while I was fighting with Jess but he also was part of this. I open the doors to go in the hotel. I paused for a moment and walked in. Turns out everyone was inside and apparently they could hear what we were saying outside. They just looked at me and I just ran to a room. I just wanted to be alone. They tried to run after me but I already left before they got off the waiting seats.
I sit in a tiny supply closet and curl up. My life did just have to get worse. I sighed again. I got up and walked back to my room. I started to collect my stuff. I packed my suitcase again. I was about to open the door to leave when it opened before I touched it.
Everyone except Jessica and Kadin walked into the room. They had worried and sad expressions.
"Liv I'm sorry for thinking that you would randomly run out like that for no reason" Carson said softly.
"Me too. I should have known more than anyone when she said you were crying because I know you more than anyone here." Katie said and they all looked at her.
"We all know Liv well" Zac said.
I shook my head. They stared at me. I took a deep breath. Kate just looked at me with a expression that said "Are you sure you want to tell them?" I nodded at her.
"I..I haven't been too honest about myself." I said and they all hanged on my every word.
I sighed and motioned them to sit on the beds. After everyone sat down I started again, telling them how I'm not fake but more heavily guarded. I told them about how it was at home and that I sorta ran away and moved a lot of the time and how I got used to not opening up with people. I also told them about how I would get these flashbacks from my past.
"...Is that what happened in the car?" Allen asked and I nodded.
"And when we were watching that movie earlier." Carson said and I nodded again.
I told them about how Katie was the only one that knew because she saw me crying and that I couldn't help but tell her. I told them how I haven't cried since that day Katie found me because I feel weak and useless when I cry. They all hugged me and I tried to laugh. I also told them that I wasn't so happy on the inside even when I look happy on the outside.
"I'm sorry I kept this from all of you" I said and they hugged me again.
"I'm sorry too Liv" someone said by the door and we all spun around to see who it was.
Kadin was in the doorway smiling softly at me and I couldn't help but smile softly at him too.
"So you and Jessica are dating?" Zac asked Kadin.
"No. She liked me but I didn't like her. I tried telling her but she would always cut me off" he said walking towards us and sitting on one of the beds.
"Sorry that you were there when me and Jessica had the fight" I said so quiet that only he heard me since he was right by me.
He smiled at me and I smiled back.