//ill at ease//

written by Benny

Harry´s scar is hurting again. But it's not just hurting, its making him pass out too. He has anxiety, and he doesn't know what its coming from, so he tries to mend his metal pain by hurting himself. Really hurting himself. Draco and Harry are secretly friends. They enjoy skipping classes together and meeting up at night. They're friends. Secret friends. No more than that, really.

Last Updated

05/31/21

Chapters

1

Reads

725

Chapter One - Guess Harry Could Not Cut It

Chapter 1
Harry had always been a confident, self assured, and positive person up until this year. He had grown nervous and stressed. Anxious you might say. The reason- he wasn't really sure what the reason was. The first night of his fifth year at Hogwarts wasn't a usual one. His lighting bolt scar kept bothering him and tingling in his forehead, causing him to nearly pass out. He wanted it to stop, but he didnt know how to stop it. He groaned and laid his head down onto the table. A new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher had arrived. Her name was Delores Umbridge. She was a cruel, spiteful, and petty woman who cared only for the magical people and purebloods of the Wizarding World. You might say, she looks rather like a toad on its hind legs. The thought made Harry laugh to himself until his scar began tingling in his forehead again. “Are you alright?” Hermione whispered quietly as Umbridge continued to broadcast her welcome speech. “I’m fine, Hermione, thanks.” he looked over at her and gave her a slight smile, even though the pain in his forehead hadn’t subsided entirely. He glanced over to the Slytherin table to see Draco waving over at him and smiling brightly, yet somewhat timidly. “Hey!” he mouthed over to him. Harry waved back and laid his head back down on the table. He heard only a few words of Umbridge’s speech until he fell unconscious. He woke up in the hospital wing, tired and achy. His scar hurt a bit, but not as much as it did- Harry looked up at a clock hanging above the hospital wing entrance and squinted, feeling around for his wand and his glasses on the nightstand beside him. “Lumos.” he muttered quietly and a spec of light began to glow at the tip of his wand. Harry held his wand above his head to see that it was 12:53 PM. I had been knocked unconscious for that long? He thought. Suddenly, his scar surged with pain and his vision grew blurry, more blurry now, his head hit the side of his pillow, and he was out cold. “Harry, Harry wake up!” was the next thing he heard. He blinked his eyes open to see Hermione and Ron were standing above his bed. He sat up and felt his forehead. The pain had all gone. “Harry, you should have told me what was going on and we would have brought you to the hospital wing right away.” Harry stood and grabbed his wand. “ Im fine, Hermione, don't worry so much. Now I'm headed back to the common room, I'll meet you in our next class.” he headed for the door and grabbed the handle, sliding the large door open. “No, Harry, wait!” Hermione ran over to him and gave him a bottle of water. “Drink it Harry, Madame Pomfrey says you need to stay hydrated. You didn't just pass out because of your scar.” Harry pushed the water bottle away and headed to the base of the steps up to Gryffindor tower. “I’m fine Hermione. I’ll get some water later.” he ran up the steps with his wand in his right hand. He paused for a moment to let the stairs rearrange themselves, then he sped up further until he confronted the painting of the fat lady. “Let me in.” Harry said and shoved his wand in his pocket. “What’s the password?” asked the fat lady. Harry sighed and glared at the fat lady. “I’m a Gryffindor, let me in.” The fat lady shook her head and sighed. “Alright, fine, i’ll let you pass this time.” Harry didn't bother to say thank you as he entered the Gryffindor Common Room. He shut the door quietly behind him and ran up to the Gryffindor boy’s Dormitories to grab a few things before class. “ Accio uniform,” his uniform came flying out of his suitcase and into his arms. He went into the restroom, shut and locked the door, and pulled something out of the front left pocket in his uniform after he got entirely dressed. It was a small and exceptionally sharp exacto, used for cutting paper. He had usually used it for cutting the seals off of letters, but tonight, tonight he was going to use it for something entirely different. Harry sighed and pulled the cap off of it. “If I just make a mark, just a small mark,” he whispered to himself and set down his wand on the rim of the sink. He pulled up his left sleeve and paused to examine his smooth, pale inner wrist, free of cuts, blemishes, and bruises. He squinted his eyes shut and groaned in pain as he felt his scar begin to surge painfully in his forehead “This anxiety,” he ran it along inside of his wrist just enough to leave a small scratch mark. His heart pounded in his chest as he felt the quick pulse in his wrist. “Just a little bit,” Harry ran it along his skin a second time, this time making a small sliver of a cut across the middle of his wrist. Pain surged through his arm but that didn't matter, not now. Blood from his veins slowly came to the surface of his skin. “Not enough,” Harry pulled the blade over his skin a second time, this time leaving a deeper gash. “There,” he whispered and put the cap back onto the blade, shoving it back into the front pocket of his uniform. He paused again to see the two new cuts he had driven into his skin. The scarlet red blood glistened in the light of the one room bathroom. A few drops of blood hit the bottom of the sink as he turned the faucet on to splash water onto his face. Harry dried his face off with a small white towel lying folded near the back of the sink. He pulled down his sleeve after the dark maroon blood dried and grabbed his wand, unlocking the bathroom door, and walking out and down the steps into the Gryffindor Common Room, on his way to his next, or rather first class of the day considering he missed a few already. His anxiety and apprehension went away, but not much. He entered the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom and took a seat beside Ron and Neville. “Well you're late. Blimey Harry, what have you been doing up there so long?” Harry shook his head. “ Nothing, just getting ready for the day.” lying didn't make him feel much better either, but he couldn't tell anyone. No one should know. Not even- He turned around and saw Draco, who was staring at him, half smirking, half smiling, with a look of worry on his face. “What have you been doing Harry?” he leaned over to him and whispered. “Nothing.” he whispered back. No one knew about the secret relationship between him and Draco. At least not that Harry knew of. It had been an ongoing thing for a while now. About two years, say. They would meet after dark, and sometimes during the day in a place where no one could see them. They would talk and laugh together, like close friends.

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