Dear Diary

The most unbelievable thing has happened to me today - Julius actually applied for a job in Hogwarts to be my co-professor. I didn't even know that was going on and he surprised me. So, that was the big news he wanted to tell me about.

Seeing him brought smiles to my face but it didn't change anything that my friends have left.

Today I overheard Moira Griffith telling a student about her frustrations that she was worried about how fast the departed professors were replaced and whether they were mere numbers in a place. The problems are real. very real. It hurts to know that students and professors, alike, are hurt and sad about what has happened. Every single day, it haunts me to the deepest of my bones that I did not go but like I said, "Autumn, it's not time". Not yet at least. People were replaced in a blink of an eye because we cannot afford to just sit here and wallow in self-pity. It is a fact that if I left, too, I would be replaced in a split second. People might remember me and the things I do, but many months down the road, people would have slowly gradually forget that something like this had happened in this place. Life moves on. I hate to have to say this to myself - I need to get up on my two feets and start walking again.

I miss them. I always will. I will never ever forget them. 

I chanced upon Naya today in the Room of Requirement. I literally burst into tears there and then. I miss her. i miss henrick. i miss rose. i miss aislynne. i miss astarael. sigh.