Chapter Eight:

Months had passed since the first date. Oliver and I never left each other’s side. We went on a couple more dates that involved going to the zoo with the healthy patients and going to a dance for all patients. Time with him is magical. I’ve never felt so alive with anyone. Not even Kyle got me to feel such strong feelings. 

I still miss him.

Last night I dreamt of him. We were swinging on my old childhood swing set. We talked and talked on and on about nothing. It felt as if he never passed. It felt as if we were still together. I would of died to stay asleep and be with him forever, but reality sank in I knew I had to wake.

I was alone in my room with nothing to do because Oliver was shipped to a new hospital for two surgeries. He was supposed to come back in a few days, but there was a medical problem that led him to stay a few weeks longer. What will I be doing now if he’s not here?

People tried to get me to be active. I drew, paint, practice walking, and went back to being an intern/nurse/doctor for awhile. But, nothing is giving me the spice I want. My recipe is Oliver and I just want to be with him. Is it really that hard to understand? I even begged to be transport there for awhile, but same as usual, “no”.

I recently been put in the hospital theater and was forced to watch the “Hunger Games”. Amazing actors and idea, but to be honest, the director, Gary, sucked at filming this movie. Everything was forced and wrong. Why did the beginning have so much detail and not the actual games? He had three hours and he should’ve used them wisely.

The movie is great for someone who couldn’t sum the story up. If I were the director I would make it just like the book just leaving out the minor parts that aren’t needed. I would start with Katniss’s hand searching her bed for Prim then have her start the morning going to the woods. I would add Madge; because she is the reason we have Katniss as the Mockingjay.

The reaping will occur next, and then the final goodbyes. I defiantly would not forget to put Peeta’s father in. To me he symbolizes old love. He loved Katniss’s mother and in a small gesture to let go of his love for her he gives her daughter cookies. It’s a perfect way to lift the past off his shoulders.

The train, Haymitch being drunk and the tributes taking him to his room to wash and Peeta offers to do the duty would be next.  Next, as they are in the Capitol. I would never exclude the avoxes. Katniss remembering the girl in the field is a big part of her feeling the burden she had for not helping her and the boy. 

The games would be more descript and I would for sure have more kissing scenes between Peeta and Katniss. That really did disappoint me when there was only one. One, are you crazy? The fans out there love the books and when you ruin it I swear your whole world comes crashing down.

Out of the whole film, the most disappointing thing to me was when the crowning was brief and they never had the personal interview after. It really did put my expectations up for the next movie. “Catching Fire” must be the movie of the year with the rumor a new director is taking the charge.

“So, who do you think will be better for Katniss?” An old woman asked behind.

I turned to her and replied saying, “Peeta. He’s the one that makes her better. They balance each other out and he really loves her for who she is. He even learned how to love her even after thinking she was a mutt and after he was hijacked.” The old woman was dirty blonde and had green eyes and her smile fell after my response. “She may have lived many lifetimes and not deserve him, but in the end she knows who she is and sees she can survive without him. Katniss just realized she had her own fire and needed a dandelion to keep her head straight. Gale would be fine with her, but after awhile they would fight and their relationship would’ve ended either way.” I finally finished.

The old woman looked to me with a wary eye. I stood there frighten with her putting me under the scope and examining me. “Well said.” That’s all?

“Is that really all you have to say?” I blurted out before thinking.

The old woman smirked and sat down beside me. “You are the only reader of Suzanne who could perfectly sum up how they chose who was better for Katniss Everdeen without saying the actor was ‘hot’”. She wrapped a hand over mine, “My granddaughter would’ve been proud of you.” She then got up and left the room leaving me behind bewildered.

Round and round the room around me went. I can’t believe I sat and spoke to the grandmother of Suzanne Collins. She may be fraud, but to me who cares. I had a conversation with a woman who cared what decision Katniss chose for her lover.

Peeta. Oliver. Gale. Kyle.

Gale. Oliver. Peeta. Kyle.

Gale to Katniss as Peeta to her as well like Kyle to me as Oliver is also. All of this being similar to my life in a different story, but the same. I’m Katniss, Gale is Kyle, and Oliver is Peeta. I love them both, but don’t know who’s better for me. My cancer is the Capitol. My strength to defeat the cells that can’t stop reproducing mutant cells is like being my own Mockingjay. The surgeries are like my own Hunger Games. I’m living the life of my very own favorite book.

Tonight I went to bed seeing someone I missed dearly.

The room was dark and the covers of white blanket were on top of my head. I turned my head I saw Kyle next to me fiddling with my fingers. His thumb was brushing over my small hands compare to his. Kyle’s thumb was braiding itself over and over between the gaps of each individual finger of mine. I just sat in the bed watching him. 

A small smile crept upon my face as I realized I was besides my love. Kyle glanced up at me with a smirk. His head in my lap and I leaned against the bed railing. I brushed my hair through dark, tangled hair. I twirled a strand of hair as I stared at Kyle’s lips.

He takes my breath away without doing anything. His energy and the fact he knows who he is excite me. When Kyle looks into my eyes my breath gets caught so naturally it’s like an instinct. Everything he does to me just shuts down my mind. I don’t know how he does it.

“You like the view?” Kyle asked with a hint of a smirk.

“Mhmm.” I just simply hummed while grinning. “It’s an amazing touring sight that I love to take.”

Kyle stopped fiddling with my hands and looked to me. A half smile set on his face and he reached his hand to my cheek. He pulled my face down to his lips, but that’s where they stopped. My lips were inches away from his and it was driving me crazy that I couldn’t put them against his.

“Well, there are defiantly more tours you can explore.” And he hungrily pressed his chapped lips upon mine and burst the butterflies in my stomach. His lips tasted of strawberry ice cream from earlier. His tongue brushed my lips. At first I resisted to open my mouth because I wanted to tease. In return Kyle bit my lip, hard. It got me to open my mouth and his tongue journeyed. 

I squeezed his hair and Kyle grasped my neck with his other hand and twirled a hair amid his fore finger. The kiss got deeper and more passionate. I was afraid it would get to into it. I was afraid that it would lead to something I may regret later on. Kyle and I never have shared such a strong kiss that lead to such strong feelings bubbling in my guts. It was a new, scary, but a great feeling.

I lightly pushed Kyle off and me and wiped my lips. I could feel them already getting sore and puffy. Kyle looked up at me confused and a little bit sadden. I wrapped a hand against his cheek close to his lips. I traced his lip lining and just gazed at how beautiful Kyle was. There was not a single flaw on him. He was just perfect.

“Why did you pull away?” he asked softly.

I looked to him and noticed hurt written all over his face. “We went too far. That’s all.” I replied hoping he would understand what I meant.

“How so,” Kyle sat up straight. “Where did I go wrong?”

“No! It’s not you!” I grasped for his hand but he pushed it away. “Kyle. I just feel that I was not ready for whatever would ever happen after.” I looked down trying to hold back the salty tears from coming forth.

“What? Like sex?” Kyle said with hurt in his words. “You know I would never do that to you.”

What does he mean by that? Is he saying he never will want to have sex with me? Is this really how he feels about me?

“What do you mean?” I fired back at him.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, it sure seem like it was meant that way.”

“Dylan, I’m not going to lie, but I really do have moments when I really do want to share something like that with you. I just know that you wouldn’t want to do it at such a young age.” Kyle spoke. “You would want to start a marriage and family first, Dylan.”

“I never said that.” I lied.

“Of course you did. If you don’t believe me then your actions show it.” Kyle responded.

It was so shocking how after half a year together that Kyle would know me so well better than anyone else. I guess it’s the fact I spend my every waking hours trying to be next to him. Or maybe it’s the fact I’m an open book when I’m around him, and he just simply knows.

I pushed myself closer to Kyle almost jumping into his lap. He looked at me scared but also curious at what I would do. I leaned in closer near his ear. I could feel Kyle’s breathing go irregular and his heart beat faster. I nibbled on his ear and whispered, “If you know me so well, then maybe I need to unleash some new stuff.”

Kyle gasped. “Dyl, I’m serious, you don’t have to do this.”

I trailed my lips down his neck and said, “Maybe I want to.”

Kyle put a hand against my arm softly and said, “No. You just want to prove me wrong.”

I began to suck on his shoulder pecking every so often. He trembled under my touch and I knew I was driving him crazy. “Who cares?”

“I care, because I don’t want anything between us to go wrong.” Kyle’s words stopped me and I looked to him surprise. “I love you Dylan. I always did and always will.”

I sat up straight and pushed myself away from him. I pushed my knees up to my chin and watched Kyle sit in front of me wounded. I blinked away the tears that were forcing to come out and I pinched myself to calm down. The tears that were trying to come forward weren’t hurt, sad ones, but surprisingly happy ones. This was the first time Kyle told me he loved me.

Kyle started to move out of the bed and push away the covers. His feet hit the floor and then I realized that he was leaving me behind thinking that I didn’t love him back. I jumped out of my position and grabbed his shoulders back. I was standing on my knees on the bed and Kyle stood before looking down.

“Don’t leave yet.” I spitted out before he gave up on me. As soon the words left I knew I forgot to say something. “Don’t leave me yet.” I corrected myself.

Kyle’s eyes were still looking down at the tile floor.”I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I wouldn’t want to spend my love on anybody else. I would rather spend my love on you.” His eyes were still glued to the floor, but I can feel he was warming back up to me; slowly, but still.

“Do you love me?” He asked finally putting his champagne orbs on mine.

“Yes! Of course I do!” I replied too quickly.

Kyle’s face fell. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? “I want to hear you say it, or I won’t believe you.”

“Kyle, I love you, always and forever. Cross my heart and swear to God on my life.” I said trying to suppress all my love I felt for him. He looked to me with such love in his eyes. Kyle came forward and kissed me, hard. I kissed back happy that I didn’t lose him.

“I love you, Kyle.” I said in my sleep. The fact that I dreamt of our first “I love you” shocked me when I awoke that very next morning. When I dream of Kyle it’s normally not a memory it’s just me being with him in my dream. It’s very weird.

Oliver arrived back to the hospital a week after I dreamt of Kyle. At first I felt guilty about still being in love with him, but then I realized that you never get over your first love especially if he had left such a mark on you. I told Jen of my feelings on the topic of still being in love with Kyle. Jen told me it was simply natural as long as I don’t call Oliver “Kyle”.

When Oliver came back I surprised him with me sitting in his bed. He rolled in and chuckled at the sight of me lying there with a book in my hand waiting for him. Oliver came to me and sat me in his lap. I kissed him with so much love, passion, longing, and hunger. I could say that was the first time we kissed. It totally took Oliver off balance.

“I miss you too.”Oliver said as he pulled away and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I kissed him all over his face pecking every aspect of his skin. “You’ve been gone too long. I missed your touch.”

“I wish I had a storm warning that you were going to miss me this much.” Oliver joked.

“Are you saying you didn’t miss me as much as I did?” I teased him poking his cheek.

Oliver pulled me closer and whispered in my ear. “Never in a million years.” I smiled and kissed his cheek and then wrapped my arms around his neck. Oliver looked around the room finally noticing something missing. “Where’s your chair or crutches?”

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t need them anymore.” I replied casually.

He looked at me warily. “What do you mean?”

I released myself from his arms and stood tall and began to walk around the room. Oliver eyes followed and soaked in my every move. When I returned to Oliver’s lap I gave the impression of being curious of how he would take this. “I can walk now.”

“I can see.” Oliver said. “When did you get it right?”

Just before I answered I caught a glance of regret cross the eyes of Oliver’s. “Well, about a week ago. How do you feel about it?” I asked cautious.

Oliver didn’t respond. He just sat there just in a deep thought. When he returned to reality he suppressed a half, fake smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“Oliver.”

“What?” He said a bit too harsh. I pulled back in shock releasing my arms from around his neck. He looked to me as he watched my actions.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and sighed. “I. I’m just pissed that I couldn’t be there for you to accomplish walking again.” His eyes traveled down, “I wanted to be the person you ran to when you got ten steps in.”

“You were there.” I told him. Oliver looked to me confused. “I haven’t walked for anyone. I waited to do it for you.”

He smiled and pulled me close and dug into my lips. He kissed me with such love that I was taken aback and smiled into the kiss. Just when I smiled into the kiss Oliver did as well. I giggled and pulled back to squeeze his cheeks. Oliver scowled and slapped my hands away before I hurt his face anymore.

***

You would expect everything to be better for me after I got the tumor out of my brain and the fact I can walk again, but you’re wrong. Everything seems to get worse all over again. The mutant cells of the brain and lung were going through the cell cycle all over again, but this time not the right way.

It all starts with G1. G1 is a part of Interphase of the cell cycle to make another cell. In G1 the cells grows to its full capacity carry out proteins and the other cells functions except the DNA replication. It then goes into the S Phase. In S the cell copies all the DNA and makes 46 chromosomes which will split back to 23. When the replication ends it enters G2. In this phase it continues to grow until ready for mitosis.

Mitosis has four stages, Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, and Telophase. In the first stage, Prophase, the nuclear membrane begins to break down and cytoplasm form spindle fibers to attach to the centromere. Metaphase begins. I mainly remember this phase by the prefix, Meta; middle. The chromosomes align in the middle of the cell as the membrane disintegrates. When the chromosomes are finally in the middle of the cell Anaphase starts. In this stage the centromeres start to pull apart and start to enter another stage; Telophase. In Telophase the cell starts to form two cells. The cytoplasm of the parent cell makes two daughter cells. 

After Mitosis is over the cell cycle enters into cytokinesis.  In this part they’re two cells with now 23 chromosomes and no longer 46. A nuclear membrane begins to reform and all the other cell parts that made it function. The cell cycle begins all over.

The only reason I explained you this cycle was because the cells that gave me the cancer again happened because something went wrong when the cell was trying to replicate itself. Due to this, the mutant cell began to reform itself making hundred, thousands, and maybe even millions of its self. The only way to destroy theses mutant cells is if I use medication, chemo, or even if I have to, die because the mutant cells wanted to live and due to the consequences I had to die.

I’m officially one of the mutants on this planet in the human population.