Chapter Four:

The twinkling stars in the night sky floated and danced above me as I sat on top of the roof. Usually, more like 99% of the patients of this hospital don’t know where the roof is, but me being a little more bent towards this hospital knows where everything is. I brought Mo my ventilator up with me to keep company.

It was quite a chilly night. The wind blew with fresh, frozen flakes swirling along in its direction. Dark, midnight black blanketed the night sky with big bright Christmas lights dangling. It was quite beautiful, and I wished I had a camera to snap this scenery before my eyes.

I and myself were the only living soul to be alone on the rooftop. Not a single organism that could breathe roamed up here with me as I set up the lantern that would become Lu Papke’s, Oliver’s mother and Tommy’s wife, tribute. The Snuggy wrapped around me to keep warm, the lantern all set, and the lighter sat beside me as I brushed away a falling tear.

The roof door slowly opened developing a screeching noise. My head flung in the direction of the movement and the eyes I beheld grew wide. The figure standing before me with Nurse Jim was Oliver Papke. His head was down and he was bundle up with a navy winter coat. Nurse Jim pushed him besides me before exiting the rooftop.

I snuck a look at Oliver and quickly went back staring at the scenery ahead of me. “What’s the lantern for?” Oliver’s voice beside me asked.

“It’s a tribute.” I responded.

“For whom I should ask?”

Pause. There isn’t an easy way of telling Oliver it’s for his mother.

“So, who’s it for?” He asked again more irritated this time.

“It’s for your mom.” 

His head shot up and turned to me confused. Oliver looked to the lantern then back to me befuddled and amused. His hand went to pick the lantern up and I sat and watched him as he admired the craftsmen of the tribute. Just before Oliver gave it back to me his eyes traveled to the stars above and his eyelids closed. I believe he was thinking of his mother.

“May I join? Well, if you’re fine with that…” His eyes told me the same story. He wanted to be a part of this tribute.

I nodded to him and asked if he could get the lighter. My hands held the lantern up high enough that Oliver could light it without burning either one of us. His fingers clicked the switch a few tries before gaining a small wisp of flame. Oliver took the flame beneath the lantern and waited patiently as the light engulfed the bottom.

“Could we like pray before sending it off to her?” Oliver requested.

“Sure, we can.”

Two hands left the lantern leaving one hand from Oliver and I. Oliver grasped my hand in his and began the prayer; “God, thanks for taking my mother to a better place where there is no harm. I ask in favor that you will lead this lantern in the direction my mother is. The lantern is the tribute I never gave her, and Dylan’s way of saying she feels her. Please Lord, cure the hurt and sick. Protect those I love. Watch over Dad and especially Dylan. Let them know you’re here and you’re willing to fix their damages over a period of time. Again, please get the lantern to Mom and tell her I love her.” Oliver prayed audibly for me to hear. Especially on the part when he said for God to watch over me. “Amen.”

“Amen.” I said as Oliver finished. Oliver and I released the lantern up towards the sparkling night sky filled with twinkling stars. The glowing red with the mixture of sunset orange drifted away from us and in the direction of Lu.

I heard the muffle sound of gasping with a mix of sobbing break out besides me. I turned to Oliver seeking his need for help. Oliver’s palms covered his wet eyes. I grasped his knee close to me. He continued to bawl as I sat in my chair patiently and silently waiting for him to unruffled. 

By the time I paged two nurses to transport us wheelchair patients back to our rooms Oliver only relaxed down a notch. He still was tearing up and held his head downward. Nurse Jim and Jen reached the rooftop and took Oliver and I out. We reached an elevator and stood in silence as we made the travel down to my level, the fourth, just a level higher than Oliver’s.

“Would it be a problem if I stayed at Oliver’s or if Oliver stayed at mine?” I turned to Jen questioning.

Oliver spared me a glance before responding with an “I don’t care.” Jen and Nurse Jim raised their shoulders in a ‘what not’ way. They took Oliver and me to my room. Nurse Jim grabbed a spare rolling bed into the room for Oliver to sleep upon. Jen grabbed spare sheets, pillows, and a few blankets for Oliver. Nurse Jim helped Oliver onto his bed before leaving us alone. Oliver still had problems getting up and moving around due to the fact both his legs are healing slowly and more painfully.

Oliver rolled over to his side opposite from me. I crawled out of my chair and sat in the seat next to him. We were so silent for eternity that I felt like I’ve lived two lifetimes. Oliver was for sure not asleep because I would of notice the slow breathing and soft movement of his chest rising up and down.

The silence between us grew enduring and not a single word slipped our lips to break the thin ice. My eyes were slowly growing wearing and soon started to droop. My head tilted to the left as my mind and body went into shut down mode. A voice broke into the air reawaking my senses.

“Say that again?” I asked the voice.

“Why would you do such a thing?” Oliver question still staring blankly at the wall.

“The lantern?” I started. “I don’t know. All I know is that it felt like the right thing to do.”

“You didn’t even know my mom.”

“That’s true, but maybe one day I’ll be able to know of her.”

“Where are you going to get such information from?” Oliver whispered that I almost didn’t catch it.

“I was hoping you, Oliver.”

Silence overcame the room once again. Oliver did not reply to my statement and just left it there hanging; unanswered.  If I spoke again then the words from earlier would be ignore and hidden in a box no will be able to find.

“I wouldn’t hope, Dylan.” Oliver spoke before turning over and looking directly in my eyes. “I wouldn’t hope. I would wait till the day someone wants to speak of her.”

“But I want to talk of her!”

“She wasn’t your mother! She was mine!” He yelled at me.

I gasped and bore my eyes into his and patiently waited for his dark golden eyes to lighten. Just before I lost contact the eyes of his returned to champagne.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” I said.

“Lay with me. I can’t sleep.” Oliver spoke. He patted the open space near him and returned to facing the blank wall. I hesitantly pushed myself up and stood next to his bed. He turned his face towards me and raised an eyebrow questioningly. I decided right then and there it wouldn’t be harm to anyone. He can’t sleep. I slipped under the covers and lay quietly by Oliver waiting for his breathing and chest to slow down.

“This is weird,” I heard Oliver say. “For you isn’t it?” I shook my head because I didn’t want my words and lips to lie to such a hurt guy.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then just close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“It’s not that easy.” I said.

“How so?”

“I-it’s, it’s-“

“Ain’t got an answer do ya?” 

“I just don’t find sleeping that easy to do.” I replied.

“You seem fine when I was in a coma.” He spoke back.

Our backs were facing the opposites as we both stared at a blank wall trying to fall asleep, “That’s different.”

“How?”

“You weren’t awake.” I answered.

“So,”

“I’m sorry, let’s just fall asleep.” I interrupted him and wrapped the blanket up to my chin. Oliver went silent.

I never heard him say a peep for the rest of the night. In fact, he was out, or maybe he was just so good at acting like he was asleep because I was wide awake the whole night. The night went by as our backs touched against each other and stayed that way with no movement or stirring.

Oliver woke up around nine in the morning asking if Nurse Jim could take him back to his room. He left me behind with no good morning or goodbye. He just left with me sitting up in his bed and watching as he was rolled out of my sight. Oliver left as if last night never happened.

“So, Dr. Dewy, how are you still positive that I have Alzheimer?” I asked her as we talked about my medical conditions.

“On this new research from Germany they were able to find people who will become Alzheimer’s victims.” She told me.

“How are you sure it is hundred percent accurate?”

“The studies show a 28/30. So, yes I am positive this research is accurate.”

“What about the other two, Doctor?” I challenged her.

“Those two were babies in pregnant women who were an Alzheimer’s victim who could’ve passed it on to their children.” Doctor Dewy answered. 

“Can you show my scans and whatever else that prove I’m going to have Alzheimer?” I asked.

“I’m not quite sure that would be acceptable now.”

“Dr. Dewy! I have the right to know if I have Alzheimer’s or not. Now show me or I’ll page Chief Andris.” I threatened.

Dr. Dewy got the blonde intern on her right to fetch the files. We sat across from each other just having a staring contest never leaving each other’s eyes off the other. The staring went on until the blonde intern returned back with my files. She sat them next to Dr. Dewy having her break the contact. Ha! I won!

“Okay, so right here there’s a big memory loss when you were four till seven. Your mother spoke of you acting as if you were still three.” She told me. “Your mother tells me of you asking when you were going to have your third birthday.”

“I don’t even remember that.” I confessed.

“Well, that’s probably because we gave you medication and your memory loss seem to end.”

“But, how does this affect me now, and are you saying that it’ll recur?” 

“Yes. See how your memory from five years old to eighteen has been pretty graphic and perfect?” I nodded my head in response. “Well, the research speaks of that victims may only have a ten to thirteen years flawless memory.”

“I’m still quite confused.” I said.

The blonde intern steps forward and said, “All victims of Alzheimer’s in this research had a decade of flawless memory, but there was scan showing coloring in memory fading over time.”

“The scan starts out all filled with red, orange, and yellow showing were memory is functioning.” Dr. Dewy finished. She took the files out of my brain from my freshman year to now. The colors were a yellow, to a green, a darker green, and now it’s a light blue.

“What color will my brain be like when I lose my memory?”

“A dark violet.” The blonde intern answered for me.

I never realized how fast my memory was declining over four years, although I don’t feel as if I’m forgetting anything. “Doctor, I don’t feel as if I’m losing my memory.”

“Dylan, that’s because the disease you behold is like a tick bomb. It ticks without your knowledge and you can’t do anything about it.”

“What about the medication when I was a child?” I asked confused.

“Your brain wasn’t fully functioned and developed then, so we had a medication help that part of the brain develop.” Dr. Dewy answered.

“Oh.” That’s all I could muster out.

I have an Alzheimer’s tick bomb inside my brain. That’s a lot to take in. More than I want to know about.

“One question,” I told Dewy. “When will I have that benign removal surgery?”

“I think this is a lot to take in. How about we discuss that another time?”

“No! I want to know now.”

Dr. Dewy took a slow, deep sigh and replied, “Dr. Lopez was planning on having it in two weeks.”

“Two weeks? Why that long?”

“He has other major and more important patients to care for, Dylan.” She told me.

“Have you found out what is wrong with my lungs yet?”

“We’re going to find out after your benign surgery with Dr. Lopez.”

“Okay, I understand.” I said.

Surgery on my brain in two weeks, after that finding out what’s wrong with my lungs, and finally facing whatever life throws at me.

“Remember Dylan. Remember that whatever happens to me from now till whenever I die you won’t forget me.” Kyle told me as we played on his x-box. I turned to him confused.

“Why you say that? You’re not going to leave me that early are you?”

“No way, I’m going to age to an old, wrinkly man!” He said.

Kyle never did.

“You better because I need friend to stick with me as I grow old and single.” I joked.

“You won’t be single and old Dylan.” Kyle laughed at me. “You’re going to get a lucky man who has to get my permission first.”

“Oh! Really, is that so?”

Kyle paused the game and faced me, “You ain’t going to get any man who is trashy. You need a golden boy!”

“Golden boy? Like Ponyboy?” I asked while guffawing.

“Ponyboy! I so should go back in time and grab young C. Thomas Howell for you.”

“Grab him when he’s not a blonde. I like him a brunette.”

“Who cares what color he has!” Kyle threw his hands in the air.

“I do!” I whinnied.

“’Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold’ that obviously means Johnny wanted him to be blonde.”

“No, Johnny is telling him to stay pure and true to himself.” I corrected him.

“I only watched the movie, so no judging.” Kyle said.

“Well, if you read ‘The Outsiders’ maybe you would’ve understood it better.” I replied.

Kyle stuck his tongue out at me in defeat. I returned it with a hint of an eye roll. He chuckled and un-paused the game and we continued playing.

The flashback hit me hard in the chest as I walked passed Kyle’s old room. This normally does not happen because I try to avoid looking towards it. When I do sneak a look I always get rewarded with a flashback of him and I feel all worn out.

It hurts me so hard that another part me is damaged and gone missing. Kyle, that guy, really did take something from me when he passed. I really don’t think anyone can fix, fill, or return that part back to me.