people dont know what shit i have been through . i am not an attention seeking prat . but this has gone too far. try stepping in my shoes and you will feel the pain . you will feel like crying every night . you feel what its like when you actually feel like DYING . what its like to not be able to eat anything . what its like to be called " a dramatic af ".
you dont know what if feels like when your family puts you down in every single thing . when your dad raises a hand at you . when your grandparents compare you to gangsters and bad people. when your father tells you that you are not allowed to cry at home because its pathetic .so you cry at night , when no one sees you . you cry and scream into your pillow. when your real elder sister dies and you cant even go to her funeral. when you feel like being in someone's arms irl but you are all alone . when you have to be strong and ignore your pain because you have to set a good example to your sister. when you get nightmares about your friends walking away from you . and the nightmares come true .
you dont know what its like when you are addicted to this site . because you are all alone in real life so you need friends and you find the perfect friends here . when you find a perfect grouop of friends and that is falling apart. you are the cause. your talks . your shit is the cause your friends are falling apart. when you talk about dyiing and then all your friends are fed up of you. they leave you. they ignore you . they find you annoying . theythink you are a drama queen. what its like when your one of your best friends who means more than your life turns away from you. when you will do anything and everything to get her back.when the person you are missing badly isnt on. when all you need is be in his arms and feel safe . when the only person that can hold your hand and get you out of your troubles isnt here .
w-when your best friend who is like your sister leaves you. when you love her so much , you are ready to die for her. you remember who she used to come on here even at midnight because she knows you are crying . when she holds you close and everything feels better . and you are waiting for her reply . and wating and waiitng . then her friend tells you that she is never gonna come back . thats when you crumble into pieces. thats when you feel numb. thats when you start crying even more . and screaming her name .
how its so hard to bear the harsh words and still push through the pain . how hard you want to die and your friends give up on you. how you have to grit your teeth and hold back the tears.

this is what i have been through . please stop telling me that i am a dramatic af because i am sick of it

love you