I was running through the forest, exhausted and terrified. Someone, or something, was crashing through the undergrowth behind me. I tried to run faster, but my tired muscles wouldn't cooperate; whatever was behind me was gaining. I yelled, maybe for help, but it was too late. Claws scratched my back, and suddenly the world around me was in flames. Gunshots sounded all around me. Connor's voice yelled my name, but he was nowhere in sight. Then everything disappeared. I was standing on a log above a pit of mud, back in the obstacle course at the training arena. I walked forward on the log, but my foot slipped near the end and I fell. The mud turned out so deep that my head went under, and I panicked. I choked on the mud, trying to get out, but the surface was no longer there.

I woke up, covered in sweat. I was, of course, still in my bed at the cottage, but it took a couple minutes for me to convince my brain that the nightmares hadn't been real; with my near photographic memory, it was hard to get the vivid images out of my head. I laid back down, but I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon. That's how it worked for me; have a hard time falling asleep in the first place, finally fall asleep, wake up because of nightmares. Then, if I was lucky, I'd have a few hours of peace closer to the morning where I wouldn't dream; but that came only after hours and hours of being unable to fall asleep. I sighed, and got up.

I climbed down the ladder as quietly as I could, hoping to not wake Connor, who was sleeping on the small sofa I had in the room. But he was already awake.

"Where're you going?" He asked. "I'm hoping you're not planning to abort the mission." He laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not one to run away from risks, and you know that. I'm just taking a walk." I started toward the door. "ALONE." I added, seeing him start to sit up.

As I walked along the shore of the dark lake, I thought about my dreams; or rather, nightmares. They were almost always the same, with the fire, the feeling of hopelessness, the gunshots, and sometimes Connor’s voice, although this time the scene with the log and the mud was new. Or, I suppose, old; it was a memory from the days where I had been taught how to go unseen, how to crack the hardest codes, and how to kill. Those days had seemed near impossible for me, and the only thing that had kept me going was that if I failed, I’d have nowhere else to go; but now I wished for those days, the days before I knew about the Scorpion, before I was in the center of a giant mess. I wondered if I would ever think back on what was happening now and wish that I was here instead of in whatever the future held.

I sensed, rather than heard, Connor approaching. Without turning around, I sighed.

“I thought I told you I wanted to be alone,” I said.

“These are dangerous times.” He shrugged. “No one should be alone outside now.”

I turned to face him. “You came,” I noted, “to ask for my help. I agreed; but only on my terms. So just leave me alone, okay?”

Connor looked away, obviously hurt. But I didn’t take back my words. He was a spy, just like me, and spies would rather know the bitter truth than the sweet lie. He turned and walked back to the cottage, his footfalls barely audible on the soft sand.

I looked out over the lake again, at how the stars were reflected on its surface, and tried to bring my thoughts back to the present. But my mind decided to worry about the future instead. The job we were undertaking was dangerous; but that was the one thing that hadn’t changed. I wondered about how we were even supposed to do it, when we could barely stand being in the same room as each other. That was my fault, I guess. But Connor expected everything to be the same after what happened 2 years ago; and I couldn’t do it. His situation had not really changed, but mine… I’d gone from being one of the best spies in the Scorpion to one of the most wanted fugitives in the world, in the blink of an eye. The career that I’d spent months building, climbing from the bottom, had all been wasted. And there wasn’t much chance that I could ever make that climb again.

I sighed, turning away from the lake, and headed back to the cottage. As I walked in the door, I saw Connor’s still form on the sofa. I could tell that he wasn’t sleeping, but he didn’t say anything, so neither did I. I climbed up the ladder and lay down in my bed, but it was a long time before sleep overtook me.

Author's Note: So, I know I haven't updated in forever, but I am trying to get back into schedule now. Check back next Sunday for a new chapter!