I'm so scared. That I'll stay here. . .being in love with you, waiting for you and then in the end. . . you'll just leave.

I like you, but I'm scared you will hurt me. I like you, but I'm scared I misread all of your acts. I like you, but I'm scared you don't feel the same. I like you, but I'm scared I'll end up liking you more. I like you, but I'm scared. . . I'm scared I love you and you don't love me back.
I'm scared as hell to want you. . .but here I am, wanting you.

Will you still love me when I am under the covers crying?
When I feel like a failure?
When dark thoughts swarm my mind and I ignore you?
When I tell you I'm fine but you know I'm lying?
When I'm so angry and confused that I want to end it all?
Will you still love me. . .when I cannot love myself?

I think about dying but I don't want to die. Not even close. My problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. . .There's so much to see and so much to do, but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I'm still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it. My little bubble of existence is my love.


I scared of love and I hate that. I want to love but I don't want to get close to someone in case they hurt me, it's stupid and I'm sorry for writing this.