Do you ever have those times where someone you care for might be gone forever and you don't know but you can't help but sit in your closet and cry for hours?

Those time where you don't know if that person you care for might be gone forever and your scrolling and see something they posted and you just get stabbed in the heart?

It's horrible.
If you haven't felt it then you're lucky.
If you have then I'm sorry.


And then you have those overjoying times?
Those joyful times are amazing
But then the oh so slowly crumble to bits and pieces of love and anger and hate and sadness.

You just can't escape it.
You're happy, then sad, then happy, then sad, then happy, then sad.
It's confusing.

And then the death thoughts come back to you and take over and you just can't function any more
















Sorry 'bout this book I just felt bottled up and needed to get this out.......for everyone to see.................I'm so effing stupid