Death wish
written by Nilan Valak
James was like every normal adult if we ignore his depression and suicidal tendencies. He had lost his job, had no friends he could be with. He just wanted to die, knowing that this life will never get better. However, he continued to push through he didn't know why but maybe he was meant to meet someone who saves him from his demons.
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
4
Reads
387
Die Or Fight
Chapter 3
I didn't go to that cafe again, fearing that I'll see the only person who had genuinely acted nice with me. I felt guilty about the way I acted with her, I shouldn't have done that she was just being nice to me. I looked myself in the mirror, my face looked better and brighter after a long bath, my arm was still covered by the scars I had given myself. I styled my hairs. I had read somewhere if you get ready and wear good clothes your mood gets better and so does your day. I pulled on a full sleeve t-shirt and pants. I pulled on a black jacket and walked out of my house. I needed a new job after my best friend had betrayed me in business, I had thought I could trust people, I was so wrong.
Soon I entered the same cafe which I hadn't visited much in the past few days. I sat down on the same table I had sat last time. I had a newspaper in my hand which I opened, my eyes rolling in every corner of the page to find the job advertisement.
"Sir, do you want to order something? If not then you can't sit here." The waiter said looking at me.
I looked up at him, I looked better today but I didn't have any money to buy myself something. "I'll leave."
"No, you won't. We would like two cups of cold coffee. Thank you!" She said to the waiter and sat down in front of me.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, looking at her. I hadn't noticed her last time, she had beautiful blonde hairs up to her shoulders, she had blue eyes and a pointed nose.
She smiled with her narrow pink lips and said, "Because I want to talk to you."
"Why?" I looked at her awfully. Why was I being harsh to her? She never had hurt me.
"You seem like a person suffering from something bad and you are suffering alone. I can't help it. I want to help you." She said and placed her hand over mine.
I looked at my hand and back to her, my heartbeat was getting faster but I was much calmer today. "Thank you. However, it's ok."
"Why is it so hard for you to accept help? Can't you trust me?" She said and stared into my eyes.
"I don't know, it is hard to trust. I just want to die." I said as my eyes got filled with tears. I was breaking down I could feel it.
She stood up and hugged me. I won't lie that made me cry and feel better at the same time. She rubbed my shoulder and said, "You don't have to die, you have to fight it. I'm with you here." I cried more, no one was there for me. "I will be with you."
That's what happened that day. It's been a week and I got a job thanks to her. I still had a lot to tell but I still feared something. She is going to come again to my home and I think I trust her now. I still had many questions in my head but the only thing right now on my mind was that if I had killed myself at that night, I would have never met her. Yes, we should fight rather than die. Why? Because you never know what surprises the next day is holding for you.
Soon I entered the same cafe which I hadn't visited much in the past few days. I sat down on the same table I had sat last time. I had a newspaper in my hand which I opened, my eyes rolling in every corner of the page to find the job advertisement.
"Sir, do you want to order something? If not then you can't sit here." The waiter said looking at me.
I looked up at him, I looked better today but I didn't have any money to buy myself something. "I'll leave."
"No, you won't. We would like two cups of cold coffee. Thank you!" She said to the waiter and sat down in front of me.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, looking at her. I hadn't noticed her last time, she had beautiful blonde hairs up to her shoulders, she had blue eyes and a pointed nose.
She smiled with her narrow pink lips and said, "Because I want to talk to you."
"Why?" I looked at her awfully. Why was I being harsh to her? She never had hurt me.
"You seem like a person suffering from something bad and you are suffering alone. I can't help it. I want to help you." She said and placed her hand over mine.
I looked at my hand and back to her, my heartbeat was getting faster but I was much calmer today. "Thank you. However, it's ok."
"Why is it so hard for you to accept help? Can't you trust me?" She said and stared into my eyes.
"I don't know, it is hard to trust. I just want to die." I said as my eyes got filled with tears. I was breaking down I could feel it.
She stood up and hugged me. I won't lie that made me cry and feel better at the same time. She rubbed my shoulder and said, "You don't have to die, you have to fight it. I'm with you here." I cried more, no one was there for me. "I will be with you."
That's what happened that day. It's been a week and I got a job thanks to her. I still had a lot to tell but I still feared something. She is going to come again to my home and I think I trust her now. I still had many questions in my head but the only thing right now on my mind was that if I had killed myself at that night, I would have never met her. Yes, we should fight rather than die. Why? Because you never know what surprises the next day is holding for you.
