Ten minutes later, Ava looks at me, while rising from the ground slowly. Her jacket is open, even though it is so cold. It just hangs there while she walks to the car, opens the door and gets inside. I know she is ready to go home and talk about this, and the only thing she is waiting for, is me. But I am still not feeling anything. Even though Ava saved me, I still feel the same way. And then it hits me. If I go home now I will be put into therapy, and everything will be different. Everyone will look at me different. At my age, my whole life will be gone. Or at least that tiny bit of what I have left. I don’t know if you could call that life or not. But instead of being just me, I will be that one kid who tried to commit suicide. I can’t do that! I can’t! There’s nothing left for me here. There is nothing else for me to do.
One. I look at Ava.
Two. I look at the railing.
Three. I get up.
Four. I walk to the railing.
Five. The railing feels even colder than before.
Six. I her Ava's voice and the slam of a car-door.
Seven. I climb over.
Eight. I hear her running steps.
Nine. A silent pause in my head.
Ten. I jump.