Well...I found it hard to write in this after what has happened since my last entry. Writing in this Journal makes me think, makes me think too much about the past. It makes the past come back in a way, haunting me. I am now nearing the end of high school, the same as I was before, being the girl that people pass in the hallway and don't even spare a glance. I just can't find myself making friends since 7th grade, Jace died for being my friend, and so will anyone else who gets too close to me. The things that have happened in these past 2 years...were both good and bad, I can drive a car now, I have gotten decent grades, and gotten a job at a local store near me. Also with me finally staying with a family, calling me their own, even though I told them I could never say they are my 'parents'. Even if my real parents didn't want me, I wanted them and I will forgive them if they ever come back with open arms.

Some days I can't take it, the stress, I don't know what I want to be, what college to go to, what classes to take, or even what to eat for breakfast. Sometimes I think of just driving off the cliff near my house, crashing into the lake, hearing death laugh at me, taking my body, just so I can be with Jace, a person who would actually want to spend time with me, who might have loved me, and I might as well be in love with him too if death didn't take him too early.