The Giant
Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

I will not dye
all of the owls green.

I will not ‘remake’
Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall

I am not a
sloth Animagus.

A howler is
not a suitable gift for anyone.

I will not say
that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are giants.

I will not
sweep the Gryffindor common room with anyone's broomstick for Quidditch.

I will not
refer to the hippogriph as "Horseybird".

I will not
"borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

I
am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher.

I
will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. I will not
replace anyone's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

I
am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions Class, even if I brought
enough for everyone. Emptying a bag of them onto the Potions teacher's desk to
prove so is not acceptable either.

First
Years should not be encouraged to be friends the Whomping Willow.

When
I see a prefect, I should not say that "you don't need those stinking
badges."

There
is no "Bring a Muggle to School" day.

I
am not to write the words "DRINK ME" on any potion bottles in Potions
Class.

I
will not cover myself in black coloured sand and walk out of a fireplace,
saying I took the "Flu Network".

I
will not refer to 'The Grim' as a nice doggy.

I
will not change the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its
location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

There
is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a
member of that house, nor am I its founder.

When
applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not
write "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence.

I
am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell
the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes.

The
Headmaster/Headmistress' proper title is so not 'My Lord.'

A
stick is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to
fly.

I
will not use Hufflepuff and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

Calling
the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the ghosts.

If
asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does
DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.

I
will never use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas. Or tomatoes, plums,
oranges, or any other item.

I
am not allowed a private army. Awwh...

I
must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they
acquired in their school days.

Flobberworms
are not filled with tasty melted chocolate, and I have to stop telling first
years this.

Ravenclaws
do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time
period" amusing in any sense.

I
will not flood the hallways in green bubble.

I
am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors, or Prefects.

Taking
Astronomy Class does not mean I will be abducted by aliens.

I
will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.

Camo
paint is not needed for DADA.

I
will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up a fan's trousers.

I
will not claim my old tapes are 'Auror Training Videos'

I
am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when
sent to the Headmaster's office. I will definitely not sing it with house elves
acting as a backing group.

I
am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I’VE...
GOT... THE... POWER!'

I
am not the new Merlin.

I
will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

I
will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

I
am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

I
am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm
meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in the showers.

Enchanting
the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Mine is forbidden.

I
must stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas Tree ate a
student.

I
will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on
who'll survive.

Professor
Snape's proper given name was not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer
McSparkles.

There
is no such thing as the 'Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man', even if I conjure him up.

Robes
are not optional.

I
will not ask people what their demons are.

I
will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.

I
cannot trade first years between houses.

I
will not tell Ravenclaws that they're useless since Hogwarts' smartest student
was in a different house.

Frankenstein
is not required reading for DADA class. Neither is Dracula.

I
am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans
taste better when one eats a whole handful continually.

I
will not try to send Dementors away by covering myself in chocolate.

I
will not tell First Year that Pokemon battles are a part of the Care of Magical
Creatures curriculum.

The
song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

I
will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping
Willow.

I
will not ask house elves if they work for Santa in the winter.

Bungee
jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written
anywhere.

I
will not mix up potions and magic stuff together and make anyone drink it and
tell them it is soda that tastes like that because a bunny made it just for
them.

Nearly
HeadlessNick does not approve of being called Casper the Friendly Ghost.

I
will not enchant pink girly stuffed animals to go around hugging students I
don't like in front of large crowds of people.

I
will not find 1st years on the Hogwarts express and say "Good luck to you!
I hear this year they've got a troll to fight to decide your house. Man, in my
year we just had to fight fire crabs!"

I
will not sing "Do You Believe in Magic" while walking to Muggle
Studies.

I
cannot ask the house elves to carve the ham into a human head and serve it.

I
will not put owls under the sorting hat just to confuse it.

I
will not tell first years that the spell to Apparate is to tap your heels
together three times and say 'There's no place like home'

Never
compare Professor Darkstorm to Loki; he doesn't like it.

I
will not tell first years that like Pokemon that the Sorting Hat is a rare
Pokemon.

I
will never enchanting a bludger to hit anyone on the back of the head.

No
one is to EVER, EVER, EVER play music by Justin Bieber in Hogwarts or anywhere
else for that matter.

I
cannot try to convince everyone that there is such thing as Kidnap-A-Gryffindor
Day. Or Kidnap-A-Professor Day or Kidnap-A-Prefect Day.

"Bibbidi
Bobbidi Boo" is not a transfiguration spell.

I
will not add 'according to the prophecy' at the end of my sentences to raise my
Divination grade.

Making
a slinky go from the top of the astronomy tower to the ground level is not an
appropriate pastime. Especially while singing "Everyone Loves a
Slinky". Especially while singing "Everyone Loves a Slinky"
until the slinky hits the bottom. Slinkys are banned from my presence for all
of my time at Hogwarts as a student or teacher.

Murmuring
"I see dead people… " every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid
and was never funny.

Yelling
"To infinity, and BEYOND!" was only funny the first time I took off
on my broom.

Not
allowed to make a sign that says, "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE
COOKIES!" and post it in the Common Room.

I
am not allowed to lean out of the Astronomy Tower window and declare myself
king or queen of the world.

I
am not allowed to let a troll in the dungeons in memory of Professor Quirrell.

Professor
Lupin was not addicted to chocolate and I will stop saying that he was.

I
may never organize a school wide "Snape Loves Hugs Day."

I
am not allowed to sing 'If only I had a brain' whenever Neville Longbottom
walks into the room.

"To
conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate
career choice. No, not even though I am a witch.

I
will not enchant my owl to attack any prefects/professors.

I
am not my own long lost twin.

One
of the house elves are actually Gollum in disguise and I should stop trying to
get the Ring from them.

I
will not make lightsaber sounds when in a duel.

I
am not allowed to wear a Superman cape, and lurk through the corridors and jump
on unsuspecting victims, while singing the Batman theme song.

I will not tell the house elves serve
fried snake to the Slytherins.

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not
take advantage and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

Seamus Finnegan is not "after me
Lucky Charms".

I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

I will not write all my essays in red
ink claiming it is blood.

I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs
there is no Santa Clause

My note: Please message me if you can think of anymore thing you cant do at Hogwarts. Thanks (: