Harry: Let's take a selfie.
Hermione: Ok sure.
Harry: Hashtag going back to Hogwarts to destroy Voldemort.

Dumbledore: Who da man?
Student: Gandalf!
Dumbledore: Who said that?

Perhaps Voldemort's nose is flat because he ran into the wrong train station wall.

Harry: I dated Moaning Myrtle a few years ago. Want to know her real name?
Hermione: Tell me.
Harry: Myrtle.
Hermione: *Looks astonished*

For those who wonder why girls go to the bathroom in groups: Hermione got attacked by a troll, Ginny got abducted, Myrtle died, Katie got cursed.