I apparated to the platform alone. Mother and Father stayed home. Thankfully, the ministry had pardoned them on the grounds that in the end, they deserted the Dark Lord. So had I. Looking back, I'd do anything to remove the ugly skull branded on my forearm. I walked across to the scarlet engine, tugging at the sleeves of my turtleneck. I only wear long sleeves now. It's easier to burn up in summer than to have a discussion about my tattoo. I glimpsed Potter out of the corner of my eye, holding hands with Ginny Weasly. My discomfort turned into sudden annoyance. It's not fair that those who won got to move on, got to hold hands and enjoy long summer days. Those of us who changed at the buzzer, or remained loyal until the end get nothing. Sure I've avoided a cell, but I might as well have remained a Death Eater. Over the summer my hair got longer, I tried my best to sand off my rough edges. I'm changing for good. I may have been born into racism and hatred, but now I have to choose a new path.

I board the train.

Pansy smiles at me. We've dated on and off, solidified during the war. I doubt it will last. She may be a pureblood but we're too different. She knows it too. We've both just been playing roles for the past summer. Can't go forward, can't go back. She mentions how thoughtful I seem now. She's right. Words can't restore what I had. Actions can. Actions require thought. I haven't felt truly alive since fifth year. I mutter a few words about being tired. She gets the memo. I stretch out, feeling absolutely alone, and doze off.

Dreams float in and out of view. A storm, thousands of arrows, a cloud of pale pink smoke, lightning strikes a town, the bolt is shrouded in the smoke. A pair of glasses fall to the ground at my feet. I look up, piercing green eyes stare back at me. A face begins to form. The ground vanishes from under my feet. I wake up.

Pansy eyes me curiously. I say something about bad dreams. She mentions something about having them too. We start a halfhearted conversation about what'll happen this year. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, thinking very hard about what I saw. For the first time in my life, I wished I'd taken Divination, dream interpretation would be nice. I can't stop thinking about the glasses and the eyes, the face had been recognizable for a second but there's no way I'd dream about-

"Draco? Did you hear me?" I blink and apologize. Pansy informs me we're almost there. I pull on my robes. Pansy adjusts my tie. For some reason, it really irritates me. We're just going through the motions. There's no chemistry, no happiness, no butterflies. I ask her if she thinks the same way. She sighs and says yes. We don't need each other she points out. I agree, adding that there wasn't anything there in the first place. She nods as the train comes to a stop, and we agree to split, but stay friends.

I step out at Hogsmeade station. Goyle lumbers over with a hello. To be honest I'm not sure why he decided to come back. It's not like he'll earn any N.E.W.T.S. Blaise comes over too. Everyone is quiet, trying to avoid glares and speculation. Slowly, we make our way over to the carriages. The thestrals standing in front stand silently. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone could see them. Ahead of us, Weasly helped Granger into a carriage, followed by Potter and another Weasly. Lovegood hopped on too, clearly a third wheel. Blaise asked me what I was doing, telling me I better get on. I shook my head and climbed up.