How To Exist
A modern guide for how to exist. Includes step-by-step dirctions and image examples. New chater will be uploaded every Tuesday until complete. Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any accidents that may occur when following these steps, nor any injury or death. In fact, you are responsible for everything you do, and putting blame on somone else is simply immature. Seriously, grow up.
Last Updated
05/31/21
Chapters
2
Reads
777
The Basics
Chapter 1
You want to exist right? Great. Good luck with this guide. We won't help you. We don't love you. Does anyone? No. No one ever loves anyone, and to do so would leave you empty-handed.
In order to exist, you'll need the following:
- 2 cups flour
- 3 eggs
- 1 computer
- omelets of various sizes
- a sense of humor
- a body
- magic
- 3 muggles
- 8 chocolate bars
- tears of sadness
- baby food
- 8 more bars of chocolate, separate from the first because the first 8 bars are bullying the second 8 bars on a regular basis
- 1 cat
- 2 dogs
- 3 birds
- four inconsistencies
- OCD
- 12 footballs
- 12 American footballs
- 12 feet
- 12 balls (tennis is preferred, but baseball is acceptable)
- a knife
- a birthday card
- 5 cars
- 6 stick
- 7, 8, lay them straight
- an empty void in your soul
- an entire fandom
- Lucifer
- the souls of at least 3 other fandoms
- 1 crappy .jpg
- 1 awesome .gif
- 1 awesome .gif
- 1 dead thing
- thoughts
After collecting all these things (some alternatives acceptable), please proceed to chapter 2.
